One of the greatest challenges to humanity in the 21st century is global warming, as sea levels are rising at alarming rates. What issues is this related to, and what are some possible solutions?
Sample Response
Global warming and rising sea levels are universal issues facing people this century. This essay will first discuss the biggest problems caused by these phenomena and suggest some potential solutions to tackle them.
The loss of land and frequent flooding are the main issues brought on by rising sea levels. As a result, the low-lying territory will become inundated and many countries will shrink at an unprecedented rate. Moreover, millions of people worldwide reside in coastal regions, and if the sea level increases by just a few feet, they will be flooded and lose their properties. The 2011 tsunami that struck Japan is a clear example of the terrible destruction brought about by this phenomenon.
Fortunately, there are a number of actions that might be taken to lessen the effects of global warming and rising sea levels. Firstly, the increasing sea level will cease if everyone lessens their carbon footprint by transitioning to renewable energy sources such as solar and wind power. Secondly, the government can take steps to enhance coastal protection, such as building seawalls and restoring natural wetlands. For example, the Netherlands has effectively implemented a number of flood defence systems despite being one of the most populous and flood-prone regions in the world.
To conclude, one of the principal dangers we face today is the rising waves brought on by rising global temperatures. However, individuals and governments can make concerted efforts to achieve the goal of controlling global warming.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise description Original: universal issues Suggested revision: global challenges Why it matters: This phrase more naturally describes problems affecting the whole world.
- 2. Use formal wording Original: biggest Suggested revision: main Why it matters: This is a more measured and formal description of the issues discussed.
- 3. Use natural noun Original: territory Suggested revision: areas Why it matters: The plural noun refers naturally to the different places vulnerable to flooding.
- 4. State effect precisely Original: countries will shrink Suggested revision: countries will lose territory Why it matters: Countries do not literally shrink, so this wording expresses the intended loss more precisely.
- 5. Use natural collocation Original: increases Suggested revision: rises Why it matters: Sea level conventionally rises rather than increases in this context.
- 6. Clarify likely losses Original: lose their properties Suggested revision: lose their homes and property Why it matters: Property is usually uncountable when referring generally to possessions or real estate.
- 7. Express change clearly Original: the increasing sea level will cease Suggested revision: sea levels will stop rising Why it matters: This wording clearly states that the upward movement would cease.
- 8. Use standard collocation Original: lessens Suggested revision: reduces Why it matters: Reduce is the standard verb used with carbon footprint.
- 9. Generalize the actor Original: the government can take steps Suggested revision: governments can take steps Why it matters: The plural form suits this general claim about action across countries.
- 10. Identify country accurately Original: most populous and flood-prone regions Suggested revision: most densely populated and flood-prone countries Why it matters: The Netherlands is a country, and densely populated describes population concentration accurately.
- 11. Name the phenomenon Original: rising waves Suggested revision: rising sea levels Why it matters: The essay concerns long-term sea-level rise rather than individual waves.
- 12. Make phrasing concise Original: achieve the goal of controlling global warming Suggested revision: help control global warming Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the same intended aim more directly.
Suggested Rewrites
- universal issues global challenges
- biggest main
- territory areas
- countries will shrink countries will lose territory
- increases rises
- lose their properties lose their homes and property
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is clearly organised and uses a good range of language to explain both consequences and possible responses to rising sea levels. Its main limitation is the uneven accuracy and depth of support, particularly the tsunami example, which does not demonstrate damage caused by rising sea levels, and the overly absolute claim about renewables. Prioritise developing each proposed solution with a precise causal explanation and a directly relevant example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed with relevant problems and solutions, but some support is inaccurate or insufficiently developed.
Replace the tsunami example with evidence directly linked to sea-level rise and explain more precisely how each solution would work.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through an introduction, problems, solutions, and a conclusion, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Make links within the body paragraphs less formulaic by showing the causal relationship between each claim and its supporting detail.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently wide vocabulary is used effectively, including topic-specific language such as carbon footprint, renewable energy, seawalls, and wetlands.
Improve precision by replacing awkward or overstated phrases such as countries will shrink and the sea level will cease.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentence structures is handled with generally strong accuracy, and the few grammatical lapses do not impede communication.
Refine article and number choices in phrases such as the low-lying territory and lose their properties to make expression more natural.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
One of the greatest challenges to humanity in the 21st century is global warming, as sea levels are rising at alarming rates. What issues is this related to, and what are some possible solutions?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.