As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to total loss of cultural identity. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Sample Response
We are living in globalization era and whole world become a global village. Due to this there are no barriers to communicate with each other as well as travel to different places. Some people argue that identity of any culture will be totally lost due to globalization. I totally agree with this statement and numerous reasons behind it.
Firstly, Every nation has its own cultural value which is spoiling day by day due to globalization. When people migrate from developing countries to developed countries then they see different culture and life style which is followed by local people. As result of it, they try to adopt it to survive easily on that country. That’s why the own identity of person or cultural values will not exist. For instance, mostly people adopt western culture such as living relationship, live apart from family. So that people’s native culture will definitely affected in future.
Furthermore, persons when they travel to other countries then they communicate with other in foreign language because they think it put great impression on local person. Native language of that person will suffer a lot. For example, developing countries persons such as Indian also face this problem when they communicate to other countries. However, globalization help to communicate to world wide so with the help of this people expand their business as well as gain knowledge about other countries.
To conclude, globalization help to improve the economy of world but it also loss personal identity as well as culture values.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add article and phrase Original: in globalization era Suggested revision: in an era of globalization Why it matters: The countable noun “era” needs an article, and “of globalization” is the natural modifier.
- 2. Fix tense and article Original: whole world become Suggested revision: the whole world has become Why it matters: The noun phrase needs “the,” and the present perfect fits an ongoing change with a present result.
- 3. Clarify the link Original: Due to this there Suggested revision: As a result, there Why it matters: This connector clearly links the claimed result to the preceding statement and supplies the needed punctuation.
- 4. Use gerund form Original: communicate Suggested revision: communicating Why it matters: The preposition “to” in this construction should be followed by a gerund.
- 5. Clarify the noun phrase Original: identity of any culture Suggested revision: the identity of each culture Why it matters: The definite article and distributive determiner make the reference grammatically complete and precise.
- 6. Complete the clause Original: and numerous reasons behind it Suggested revision: for numerous reasons Why it matters: The original wording lacks a verb or preposition linking the reasons to the agreement.
- 7. Fix capitalization Original: Every Suggested revision: every Why it matters: A word following a comma within the same sentence should not begin with a capital letter.
- 8. Use natural wording Original: cultural value which is spoiling Suggested revision: cultural values, which are being eroded Why it matters: “Eroded” accurately expresses gradual cultural loss, while the plural noun requires plural agreement.
- 9. Use precise verb Original: then they see Suggested revision: they encounter Why it matters: “Encounter” expresses exposure to a different culture more precisely and removes the unnecessary sequence marker.
- 10. Fix form and spelling Original: different culture and life style Suggested revision: a different culture and lifestyle Why it matters: The singular countable noun needs an article, and “lifestyle” is written as one word.
- 11. Add article Original: As result of it Suggested revision: As a result Why it matters: The fixed linking phrase requires the article “a” and does not need the vague pronoun.
- 12. Use natural collocation Original: survive easily on that country Suggested revision: adapt more easily in that country Why it matters: “Adapt” matches adjustment to a culture, and countries take the preposition “in.”
Suggested Rewrites
- in globalization era in an era of globalization
- whole world become the whole world has become
- Due to this there As a result, there
- communicate communicating
- identity of any culture the identity of each culture
- and numerous reasons behind it for numerous reasons
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay states a clear position and organises two relevant reasons around changing lifestyles and language, so its overall argument remains understandable. Development is limited by broad claims and vague examples, while frequent errors in articles, agreement, word forms, and collocation reduce precision. The highest priority is to build each main idea through a specific causal explanation and then edit sentences for basic grammatical completeness.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is maintained and supported by two relevant ideas, but the explanations and examples remain general and only partly developed.
Explain exactly how adopting foreign lifestyles or languages would cause a total loss of cultural identity, using one specific example for each claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and an understandable progression, although linking is sometimes mechanical and references are occasionally vague.
Use fewer formulaic connectors and make pronoun references explicit so each sentence follows naturally from the previous one.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to discuss globalisation and culture, but frequent collocation and word-form errors weaken precision.
Replace inaccurate phrases such as “living relationship,” “put great impression,” and “loss personal identity” with standard academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts complex sentences, but frequent errors with articles, agreement, plurals, auxiliaries, and prepositions persist throughout.
Prioritise complete subject-verb structures and third-person agreement, then check articles and prepositions sentence by sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to total loss of cultural identity. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.