Globalization has many positive effects on world’s economy but the negative effects of it cannot be forgotten. What is your viewpoint on this topic?
Sample Response
Today, globalisationToday Globalization has permeated societyhas invaded the society and it directly affects the economy of every country inof the world. The connection between globalisation and the economyglobalisation and economy is a subject with both advantages and disadvantagesis not an exceptional topic to have two sides. Social mediaThe social media is one of the main forces that affectone of the main areas which affect world's economy today. As a result of this developmentculture, new online businesses have emergedthere are online businesses that have started and the people who are involved in such enterprisesengaging in those kinds of earnings have become some of today's millionairesthe millionaires of the world today. Facebook's founder, Mark Zuckerberg,The owner of Facebook Mark Zuckerberg is a prominent figure in social mediathe main icon in social media. In additionOther than that, individuals who run eBay, Amazonamazon, etc. are operating online marketplaces globallymaintaining their online shopping in the globe today and earning substantial profitsby having lots of profits each day. Furthermore, today multinational companies are established and they provide their services to the world through globalisationwith ease of globalisation. They carry out their main financial transactions using advanced telecommunications technologiesthe most developed telecommunication technologies. For exampleFor an example, their banking needs are fulfilled very easily using internet banking which is a major way of developing the economy of a country. Not only that, the education and health sectorsEducation and Health sectors also cannot be forgotten. Today, students can learn over the web and sit for the exams online. Doctors do not need to be at a particular hospital to treat their patients. They can provide consultancy over the phone or most probably over the video conference call. The above-mentioned factors reduce costs of travelling, daily expenses and even it is more comfortable to the both parties. But unfortunately, there are some drawbacks of getting the world together and transparent to the others who live in another part of the world. Mostly the children use social media get addicted to the abnormal habits of being in front of the computer all the day which made them physically and mentally differently-able. In the worst case, they may end up with drug use and even commit suicide. This factor mainly affects the economy of the country negatively. In conclusion, although there are concerns with the globalisation to children, most of the countries in the world get benefits because of that. But we must attend to the effect of the economy based on the children and made the world a better place with globalisation for each and every human being in the world.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response offers several relevant examples of global connectivity supporting business, banking, education, and healthcare, and it ultimately expresses a broadly positive viewpoint. Its main limitation is an unfocused and weakly supported negative case, especially the abrupt claims linking children's social-media use to disability, drugs, suicide, and national economic harm. Prioritise a clear position and two balanced, logically evidenced economic effects.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant benefits are identified, but the viewpoint emerges late and the negative economic effects are narrow, exaggerated, and insufficiently explained.
State a clear overall judgement early and develop one credible economic benefit and one credible economic cost with causal support.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a broad benefits-to-drawbacks progression, but the single dense block, repetitive transitions, and abrupt topic shifts weaken coherence.
Use an introduction, separate benefit and drawback paragraphs, and a concise conclusion that directly weighs the two sides.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss technology and the economy, but frequent misuse and repetition make many expressions imprecise.
Replace phrases such as invaded society, maintaining online shopping, and getting the world transparent with accurate economic language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in articles, agreement, clauses, word forms, and sentence construction reduce control, although the main ideas remain understandable.
Build shorter complete clauses and check subject-verb agreement, especially in sentences about children, sectors, costs, and benefits.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Globalization has many positive effects on world’s economy but the negative effects of it cannot be forgotten. What is your viewpoint on this topic?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.