Some governments try to control the way a national language is used. For example, they may restrict the introduction of foreign words, or the use of dialects, or they may demand that a certain language be used in schools. What are the benefits and disadvantages of these policies? Do you think they can ever be effective?
Sample Response
Often governments try to control the use of any specific language at different levels and it begins from schools. Basically, the government wants to underscore on state language other than anything. Such policies have some advantages and demerits too. A comparative discussion is done in the following paragraphs. First of all, the government puts emphasis on the mother tongue of the state so that the kids could learn the state language effectively and communicate. As a result, the kids turn expert on national language. Further, as they are expert, communication is easier for them inside the national boundary. Actually, when kids are in schools and they are to learn several languages, it becomes difficult for them to cope with the words, dialects and other linguistic issues. Thereby, importance on certain language in school is reasonable. For instance, in most of the Asian countries, it is compulsory to study the mother tongue in elementary schools. On the other hand, teaching a certain language may create a sense of excessive dependency on that specific language. As a result, it may hamper their communication skills in a different perspective. They will lose confidence to communicate in the international environment. My 5-year old daughter, Samantha, is in her elementary school here in France. The school strictly forbids using English or any other language than French during the school hours. The intentions are respectable and kids are learning French perfectly. But at the same time, kids are losing their ability to communicate in English or in other international languages. Learning it in a later phase of life is less effective than learning at an early age, I think. Finally, after the aforesaid arguments, I believe adoption of such policies is ineffective. The ratio of demerits is almost equal to its benefits. So, if we justify the needs, the outcomes will be under satisfactory level. In a true sense, there are no advantages of this initiative at all, mere a waste of time. Hence, governments should deeply investigate the matter to make the right choice.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix preposition Original: from Suggested revision: in Why it matters: A practice begins “in” an institution, not “from” it.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: underscore on state language other than anything Suggested revision: emphasise the state language above everything else Why it matters: “Underscore on” and “other than anything” are not natural collocations in this context.
- 3. Use formal term Original: demerits too Suggested revision: disadvantages Why it matters: “Disadvantages” is the clearer formal counterpart to “advantages” in this discussion.
- 4. Avoid awkward passive Original: A comparative discussion is done Suggested revision: A comparative discussion follows Why it matters: The replacement states the essay's organisation in a natural active construction.
- 5. Use appropriate modality Original: the kids could learn Suggested revision: children can learn Why it matters: “Can” fits the present policy context, and “children” is more appropriate for formal writing.
- 6. Use correct collocation Original: turn expert on Suggested revision: become proficient in Why it matters: People become “proficient in” a language rather than “expert on” it.
- 7. Fix noun complement Original: as they are expert Suggested revision: as they become proficient Why it matters: “Expert” requires an article as a noun, while “proficient” works naturally as an adjective here.
- 8. Use natural expression Original: inside the national boundary Suggested revision: within the country Why it matters: The replacement expresses domestic communication more naturally and concisely.
- 9. Clarify obligation Original: are Suggested revision: have Why it matters: “Have to” clearly expresses the obligation described in the sentence.
- 10. Add article and collocation Original: importance on certain language Suggested revision: emphasis on a certain language Why it matters: The natural construction is “emphasis on,” and the singular count noun needs an article.
- 11. Remove unnecessary article Original: most of the Asian countries Suggested revision: most Asian countries Why it matters: “Most” directly modifies a general plural noun without “of the”.
- 12. Use standard noun Original: dependency Suggested revision: dependence Why it matters: “Dependence on” is the more natural formal collocation in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- from in
- underscore on state language other than anything emphasise the state language above everything else
- demerits too disadvantages
- A comparative discussion is done A comparative discussion follows
- the kids could learn children can learn
- turn expert on become proficient in
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response covers benefits, disadvantages, and effectiveness, and its school-language example gives the discussion a concrete and relevant basis. The main weakness is an internally inconsistent conclusion that first balances the two sides and then claims there are no advantages, while language inaccuracies recur throughout. The highest priority is to present a consistent final judgement and refine the grammatical and lexical accuracy of the supporting argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
All parts of the task are addressed with relevant explanation and an example, but the final judgement contradicts the benefits established earlier.
State whether these policies can work under limited conditions and ensure that this judgement follows consistently from the preceding comparison.
Coherence and Cohesion
The discussion progresses from benefits to disadvantages and then a conclusion, but the lack of paragraphing and some repetitive linking weaken organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for benefits, disadvantages, and effectiveness, and give each paragraph a clear central claim.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but frequent collocation and word-choice problems make several claims sound unnatural or imprecise.
Use more accurate combinations such as emphasise the national language, become proficient, communicate internationally, and produce unsatisfactory outcomes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex forms are used and meaning remains generally clear, although errors in articles, prepositions, agreement, and sentence construction are frequent.
Edit each sentence for article and preposition use, agreement, and complete clause structure, especially in evaluative statements.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some governments try to control the way a national language is used. For example, they may restrict the introduction of foreign words, or the use of dialects, or they may demand that a certain language be used in schools. What are the benefits and disadvantages of these policies? Do you think they can ever be effective?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.