Art is essential for people and society but they are often overlooked and poorly funded. Some think that the government should pay for those art projects, and of course, observe precisely how those funds are being spent and on what type of projects it is being used. How far do you agree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Art has been a vital part of human civilization since the beginning of time. However, despite its significance, art is often neglected and inadequately funded. Some individuals suggest that the government should fund art projects and keep a close eye on how the money is spent and what type of projects it is being used for. I completely agree with this opinion and believe that the government should prioritize funding for the arts while also monitoring how the fund is spent.
The government must fund important art projects because art provides an outlet for human expression and creativity. It allows individuals to communicate their thoughts, feelings, and emotions in a way that words cannot always convey. Artistic expression is an essential aspect of human culture and society, and without it, we would lose an important part of our identity. Additionally, art contributes to social and economic growth, as it attracts tourists, stimulates creative industries, and creates job opportunities.
Moreover, the government has a responsibility to support and promote culture and the arts. It should recognize the intrinsic value of art and its role in shaping society. Therefore, by funding art projects, the government is fulfilling its role in preserving and promoting cultural heritage, which is essential for national identity.
Moreover, the government can ensure that the funding is spent wisely, and on deserving projects. With proper monitoring and evaluation, the government can identify the projects that have the greatest potential to benefit society and allocate resources accordingly. This would also help prevent fraud and misuse of public funds.
In conclusion, art plays a crucial role in human society and deserves more attention and funding. The government has a responsibility to support and promote culture and the arts, and funding art projects is an important step towards achieving this goal. By doing so, the government can contribute to social, economic, and cultural growth, and help ensure that the arts continue to thrive for generations to come.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify plural reference Original: what type of projects it is being used for Suggested revision: which types of projects receive it Why it matters: The revision aligns the plural “projects” with “types” and clarifies what receives the money.
- 2. Use correct noun Original: monitoring how the fund is spent Suggested revision: monitoring how the funding is spent Why it matters: “Funding” refers to money provided for a purpose, while “fund” usually names a specific reserve.
- 3. Use precise adjective Original: important art projects Suggested revision: worthwhile art projects Why it matters: “Worthwhile” more precisely describes projects that merit public support.
- 4. Streamline verb structure Original: Therefore, by funding art projects, the government is fulfilling its role Suggested revision: By funding art projects, the government fulfils its role Why it matters: The simple present states this general consequence more directly, and “Therefore” is unnecessary.
- 5. Vary paragraph transition Original: Moreover, the government can ensure Suggested revision: The government can also ensure Why it matters: This transition signals addition without repeating the previous paragraph’s opening linker.
- 6. Remove unnecessary comma Original: spent wisely, and on deserving projects Suggested revision: spent wisely and on deserving projects Why it matters: A comma should not separate these two coordinated complements.
- 7. Make phrasing concise Original: the projects that have the greatest potential Suggested revision: projects with the greatest potential Why it matters: The prepositional phrase expresses the same idea more economically.
- 8. Keep modality consistent Original: This would also help prevent Suggested revision: This can also help prevent Why it matters: “Can” matches the paragraph’s present-tense explanation of what monitoring makes possible.
- 9. Remove wordiness Original: towards achieving this goal Suggested revision: towards this goal Why it matters: The shorter phrase preserves the meaning without the abstract verb “achieving.”
- 10. Combine related reasoning Suggested revision: Merge this short paragraph with the preceding discussion of art’s cultural value so the rationale develops as one continuous point. Why it matters: The two adjacent paragraphs present closely related cultural arguments and read more coherently as one unit.
Suggested Rewrites
- what type of projects it is being used for which types of projects receive it
- monitoring how the fund is spent monitoring how the funding is spent
- important art projects worthwhile art projects
- Therefore, by funding art projects, the government is fulfilling its role By funding art projects, the government fulfils its role
- Moreover, the government can ensure The government can also ensure
- spent wisely, and on deserving projects spent wisely and on deserving projects
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is focused, logically organised, and consistently supports a clear position on both public funding and oversight of art projects. Its main limitation is that the reasoning remains somewhat general and occasionally repeats closely related claims rather than illustrating them with concrete evidence. The best improvement would be to deepen one or two arguments through specific examples and sharper distinctions between cultural, economic, and accountability benefits.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response fully addresses funding and monitoring with a clear position, although several supporting points remain general rather than specifically evidenced.
Extend the strongest arguments with concrete examples of suitable projects and transparent funding controls.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly through well-focused paragraphs, though repeated transitions and some overlap between cultural arguments make the structure slightly mechanical.
Vary transitions and consolidate overlapping cultural points so that each paragraph makes a more distinct contribution.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad, precise, and appropriate for discussing culture, public funding, and accountability, with only minor repetition and occasional imprecision.
Use more varied references to art and public support while preserving the essay's generally accurate academic register.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, and the few minor agreement, number, or punctuation slips do not impede communication.
Refine pronoun-number consistency and remove unnecessary commas to make already strong sentence control more polished.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Art is essential for people and society but they are often overlooked and poorly funded. Some think that the government should pay for those art projects, and of course, observe precisely how those funds are being spent and on what type of projects it is being used. How far do you agree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.