Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but other people claim that it is the individual’s responsibility. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Nowadays, health care and education have become the focus of the people’s concern. It is a highly debated issue as to who should pay for these services. There are those who argue that the government should pay for them while others think the costs should be shouldered by individuals. Personally, I think that basic health care and primary education should be on the government but advanced health care and higher education should be borne by the individual.
It is irrefutable that it is the government’s responsibility to make basic health care and primary education accessible to everyone. The reason is that a nation’s prosperity very much depends on the contribution made by its well-educated citizens who are in good health. After all we all pay taxes and so we are entitled to get something back in return. Private schools and private hospitals can be available for those who want and can afford it but the free schools and free government hospitals should always be there.
On the other hand, individuals should be responsible for their advanced health care. Actually, the advanced medical and surgical treatments are very expensive. So, instead of depending on government we should take some health insurance or save in any other way with the tomorrow in mind. Higher education, too benefits the individual more than the nation. So it is quite reasonable to pay for it from one’s pocket.
There are, of course, some sections of society who cannot afford their own healthcare. The government should have some system of knowing their financial status and provide free healthcare so that nobody dies for want of treatment. As far as higher education is concerned, the government can have some system of interest free loans for the needy and meritorious students.
To sum up, basic education and primary education should be borne by the government but advanced health care and education should be paid by the individual from his pocket.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise collocation Original: focus of the people’s concern Suggested revision: focus of public concern Why it matters: Public concern is the natural concise expression for a widely discussed issue.
- 2. Clarify funding responsibility Original: should be on the government Suggested revision: should be funded by the government Why it matters: The original preposition does not clearly express who should bear the cost.
- 3. Punctuate transition Original: After all we Suggested revision: After all, we Why it matters: A comma should follow the introductory linking phrase.
- 4. Fix plural reference Original: who want and can afford it Suggested revision: who want these services and can afford them Why it matters: The plural pronoun clearly refers to private education and health-care services.
- 5. Use formal wording Original: should always be there Suggested revision: should always remain available Why it matters: Remain available expresses continued access more precisely in formal prose.
- 6. Add definite article Original: depending on government Suggested revision: depending on the government Why it matters: Government needs the definite article when it refers to the national institution.
- 7. Correct insurance collocation Original: take some health insurance Suggested revision: obtain health insurance Why it matters: People obtain or purchase insurance rather than take some insurance.
- 8. Use natural expression Original: tomorrow Suggested revision: future Why it matters: The future is the idiomatic noun for later needs in this expression.
- 9. Close parenthetical adverb Original: Higher education, too benefits Suggested revision: Higher education, too, benefits Why it matters: The parenthetical adverb too requires a closing comma.
- 10. Use precise process term Original: system of knowing their financial status Suggested revision: system for assessing their financial status Why it matters: Assessing accurately describes an official process for determining financial need.
- 11. Hyphenate compound adjective Original: interest free loans Suggested revision: interest-free loans Why it matters: The compound adjective before loans should be hyphenated.
- 12. Clarify contrast Original: but Suggested revision: whereas Why it matters: Whereas makes the contrast between public and individual responsibility explicit.
Suggested Rewrites
- focus of the people’s concern focus of public concern
- should be on the government should be funded by the government
- After all we After all, we
- who want and can afford it who want these services and can afford them
- should always be there should always remain available
- depending on government depending on the government
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear, nuanced position and develops a coherent distinction between basic public provision and individually funded advanced services, supported by relevant reasoning across both healthcare and education. Its main weakness is occasional awkward wording and a few loosely expressed or repetitive points, so the highest-priority improvement is to refine collocations and state each policy distinction with greater precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The qualified position directly answers the question and is developed across both healthcare and education with relevant supporting reasons.
Clarify the scope of basic and advanced provision and avoid the inaccurate repetition in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear progression from position to supporting distinctions and exceptions, with effective paragraphing throughout.
Reduce repetitive sequencing expressions and make the link between the main policy argument and the exceptions more explicit.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic and meaning is clear, though several awkward collocations and imprecise phrases limit flexibility.
Replace unnatural phrases about responsibility, saving, and eligibility with more precise policy-related collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses varied complex sentences with generally good control, although punctuation, article use, and occasional agreement errors remain noticeable.
Proofread complex clauses for commas, articles, and subject-verb agreement, especially around parenthetical expressions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but other people claim that it is the individual’s responsibility. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.