The government spends about £220 million a year supporting museums and galleries in the UK, and a similar amount subsiding the visual and performing arts. This is a huge sum to spend on minority interests and the money would be better spent on more important things. It should be up to the people who enjoy cultural attractions to pay for them. What are your views on this issue?
Sample Response
The overwhelming budget for arts, museums and galleries is often criticised by a group of people and they advocate the need of this money on more pressing issues like hunger, poor health care, and terrorism. They also opine that people who have enthusiasm for such arts should bear the expenses. I believe that arts and museums are part of the enlightened world and they reflect the identity of a country. Hence the spending by the government in arts is quite logical. To begin with, museums preserve the history and they have great educational values. They attract a huge number of foreign visitors and bring foreign currency for a country. For instance, the British Museum in London alone attracts more than 6.8 million visitors annually and this brings a lot of foreigners in London as well. Furthermore, a large number of art galleries and theatres are the reason people find visiting the UK a unique experience. They would not have been here if the UK did not have these attractions. On top of that, visual arts, performing arts and other art forms reflect the unique heritage and culture the United Kingdom has. They convey our strength, tell our history and preserve our culture. Human minds crave for arts and without arts, science would become too technical to the mass people to enjoy. For instance, the incredible powers of computers do not only solve complex mathematical equations, but also create animations, graphics and other forms of arts for people to enjoy. In summary, people need arts as much as they need science. Only food cannot ensure better living as we need to get engages in creative activities and yield artworks. In my opinion, the works of Thomas Hudson are no less important than the works of any scientists. So the government's funding for different forms of arts and museums is totally justified.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the collocation Original: advocate the need of this money on Suggested revision: advocate spending this money on Why it matters: “Advocate spending” is the natural construction for recommending how funds should be used.
- 2. Add the article Original: enthusiasm for such arts Suggested revision: an enthusiasm for the arts Why it matters: The countable noun “enthusiasm” needs an article, and “the arts” is the conventional general expression.
- 3. Fix the preposition Original: spending by the government in arts Suggested revision: government spending on the arts Why it matters: Expenditure is described as spending “on” something, not spending “in” it.
- 4. Use the singular noun Original: values Suggested revision: value Why it matters: “Educational value” is uncountable when referring generally to the benefit museums provide.
- 5. Fix the direction phrase Original: bring foreign currency for a country Suggested revision: bring foreign currency into the country Why it matters: Money brought from abroad comes “into” a country rather than “for” it.
- 6. Use precise wording Original: brings a lot of foreigners in London Suggested revision: brings many foreign visitors to London Why it matters: The replacement uses the correct destination preposition and identifies the people as visitors.
- 7. Correct the verb pattern Original: crave for arts Suggested revision: crave art Why it matters: The verb “crave” takes a direct object without “for.”
- 8. Use natural phrasing Original: too technical to the mass people to enjoy Suggested revision: too technical for the general public to enjoy Why it matters: “The general public” is the natural expression, and the adjective construction requires “for.”
- 9. Align paired conjunctions Original: powers of computers do not only solve Suggested revision: power of computers not only solves Why it matters: Placing “not only” before the first coordinated verb creates the correct parallel structure and singular agreement.
- 10. Fix the participle Original: engages Suggested revision: engaged Why it matters: The passive construction requires the past participle “engaged.”
- 11. Use singular comparison Original: scientists Suggested revision: scientist Why it matters: After “any” in this comparison, the singular countable noun is appropriate.
- 12. Choose a precise adjective Original: overwhelming Suggested revision: substantial Why it matters: “Substantial” describes the large amount objectively, while “overwhelming” usually describes an emotional effect.
Suggested Rewrites
- advocate the need of this money on advocate spending this money on
- enthusiasm for such arts an enthusiasm for the arts
- spending by the government in arts government spending on the arts
- values value
- bring foreign currency for a country bring foreign currency into the country
- brings a lot of foreigners in London brings many foreign visitors to London
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a firm, relevant view and supports public arts funding with several developed benefits, especially education, tourism, and cultural preservation. Its main limitation is uneven organisation: all reasoning appears in one dense paragraph, and the later comparison between art and science becomes less convincing. The highest priority is to divide the argument into focused paragraphs and deepen the case for government rather than individual funding.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and relevant benefits are well supported, though the case against user-only funding is mostly implied and the science analogy is less persuasive.
Explain explicitly why admission fees or private payment alone would not adequately preserve access, heritage, and national benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a recognisable sequence with effective signposting, but the single dense paragraph weakens paragraph-level organisation and some transitions feel mechanical.
Separate tourism, cultural preservation, and the conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with one controlling idea each.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and topic-appropriate, with flexible discussion of culture and public value, despite several awkward collocations and formulations.
Replace unnatural phrases such as "need of this money," "mass people," and "yield artworks" with precise, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of sentence forms is used and meaning stays clear, although agreement, preposition, article, and verb-form errors recur.
Edit systematically for verb forms and noun agreement, particularly in phrases such as "get engaged" and "works of scientists."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The government spends about £220 million a year supporting museums and galleries in the UK, and a similar amount subsiding the visual and performing arts. This is a huge sum to spend on minority interests and the money would be better spent on more important things. It should be up to the people who enjoy cultural attractions to pay for them. What are your views on this issue?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.