The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicines. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent to you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is sometimes argued that more money should be spent on preventive measures than on treatmentsthan treatments, as they are of greater importance. However, I would argue that treatmentcure and prevention are equally important when it comes to spending money in these areas. There are several reasons why it can be argued that governmentsgovernment should spend money on tackling the causes of diseases. Cost-effectiveness is the key element when placing more importance on these initiatives. By allowing people to have access to these health monitoring strategies, governments can avoid the hefty priced hospitalhospitalised treatments or other extravagantly expensive medicines. Take the gene modificationmodified gene coding as an example, the technique of relocating genes in the DNA of human beings can help preventhelp deliberately avoiding inherited seriouslethal illnesses in newborns such as diabetes. In this way, not only can the financial pressure on healthcare departments be reducednot only the financial pressure on health care departments can be reduced, but the suffering caused by these illnesses can also be alleviatedbut also the painful suffering caused by these contagious sicknesses. Hence, an improved quality of life for those who take these measures is a better alternative. So, if government prioritises preventative approaches as a mandatory element in tackling health problems, people would surely be leading healthy lives in thea near future. I also believe that spending on treatments or medicines is equally important as addressing causeshas of proportionately equal importance as of managing causes. Some diseases are so serious that they cannot be left withouttoo fatal that cannot be left without an intensive, holistic and advanced treatment. For instance, cancercarcinogenic patients would never have recoveredwould have never been recovered with ever greater speed today, if substantial state funding had not been investedif huge state budget were not invested to produce chemotherapy. Similarly, without enough government funds for the best possible treatments to vulnerable patients, people' life expectancy will be affected devastatingly. So both these departments should be given equal money to keep them going. In conclusion, governments have to make health reforms properly by investing equally in the cure and prevention of epidemic health illnesses in order to have better outcomes from health deprived people as well as ensuring a healthy and energetic living for them.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position that prevention and treatment deserve equal funding and offers a logical reason for supporting each area. Its main weakness is that several examples and claims are medically imprecise or only loosely connected to prevention, while frequent collocational and grammatical errors reduce clarity. Use accurate, directly relevant health examples and revise complex sentences for cleaner control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear partial-disagreement position is maintained and both prevention and treatment are discussed, but some supporting examples are inaccurate or weakly relevant.
Use one credible preventive-health example and one treatment example, explaining precisely how each supports the proposed funding balance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable introduction-to-conclusion sequence, but the absence of paragraph breaks and some mechanical linking weaken readability.
Separate the introduction, each main argument and the conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with clearer internal progression.
Lexical Resource
There is a broad attempt at health-related and academic vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and inaccurate word choices limit precision.
Prefer accurate combinations such as ‘costly hospital treatment’, ‘cancer patients’ and ‘prevent inherited disease’ over overly elaborate phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, yet frequent errors in verb patterns, agreement, articles and clause formation reduce control.
Simplify and proofread complex sentences, especially conditional, passive and correlative structures, to ensure each clause is grammatically complete.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicines. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent to you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.