Problems with environmental pollution have become so serious that many countries are trying to solve these problems. Suggest possible solutions and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
It is true that the issues related to the environmental pollution have become one of the most controversial issues nowadays, and every nation is wondering about how to tackle the problem. In my opinion, both government and people have to contribute to solve these problems or at least make it less dangerous.
On one hand, everyone bears a great duty to protect our environment. To begin with, parents at home and teachers at school should teach the next generation about how to cause less harm to our environment and how to take care of our mother Earth. Through teaching the children about recycling and reducing waste, both parents and teachers can contribute a lot. Also, people can reduce the gas emissions by using public transports rather than personal cars and can choose to walk short distances or to their workplaces.
Moreover, by using fewer packages and less plastic and papers, they will reduce a massive threat to the environment. On the other hand, governments should take more efforts to reduce the pollution. Firstly, by making public transport more convenient to encourage more people to use them, this will save more money and energy. Secondly, through the media and campaign, many people can learn more about the importance of the environment. For example, in the UK there is a campaign called make Britain tidy and such campaign encourages people to contribute more to keep the environment clean. Finally, governments should introduce laws to limit the deforestation in many countries around the world, to ensure that there are enough green forests.
To conclude, there are many ways in which we can address the issue of environmental pollution, and both individual and government have their own responsibility for this.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Article use Original: the issues related to the environmental pollution Suggested revision: issues related to environmental pollution Why it matters: Environmental pollution is used generally and does not need the.
- 2. More precise word Original: one of the most controversial issues Suggested revision: one of the most serious issues Why it matters: Pollution is serious, but controversial is not the best fit here.
- 3. Formal phrasing Original: wondering about how to tackle Suggested revision: trying to decide how to tackle Why it matters: Wondering is too informal for governments or nations.
- 4. Verb pattern Original: contribute to solve these problems Suggested revision: contribute to solving these problems Why it matters: Contribute to is followed by a noun or gerund.
- 5. Pronoun reference Original: make it less dangerous Suggested revision: make them less dangerous Why it matters: Problems is plural.
- 6. Fixed linker Original: On one hand Suggested revision: On the one hand Why it matters: The standard paired linker includes the.
- 7. Natural phrase Original: bears a great duty Suggested revision: has a major responsibility Why it matters: This is more natural academic wording.
- 8. Concise form Original: about how to cause less harm Suggested revision: how to cause less harm Why it matters: About is unnecessary after teach in this structure.
- 9. Tone Original: our mother Earth Suggested revision: the planet Why it matters: Mother Earth is too emotive for this formal essay.
- 10. General plural Original: the children Suggested revision: children Why it matters: The essay is speaking generally.
- 11. Uncountable noun Original: public transports Suggested revision: public transport Why it matters: Transport is uncountable in this meaning.
- 12. Natural phrase Original: personal cars Suggested revision: private cars Why it matters: Private cars is the usual contrast with public transport.
Suggested Rewrites
- the issues related to the environmental pollution issues related to environmental pollution
- one of the most controversial issues one of the most serious issues
- wondering about how to tackle trying to decide how to tackle
- contribute to solve these problems contribute to solving these problems
- make it less dangerous make them less dangerous
- On one hand On the one hand
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response presents a clear opinion and suggests relevant individual and government solutions. Some solutions are listed rather than fully explained in terms of impact.
For each proposed solution, add one sentence explaining how it would reduce pollution in practice.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised and paragraphing is mostly effective. A few transitions are imprecise, especially when moving from individual action to government action within the same paragraph.
Keep individual and government solutions in separate paragraphs and use clearer topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is good for the topic, with terms such as emissions, recycling, campaign, and deforestation. Some collocations are inaccurate or too general.
Edit environmental collocations, especially public transport, plastic, paper, and take measures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is used effectively, but article, number, and verb-pattern errors occur throughout.
Check uncountable nouns and plural forms, especially pollution, transport, packaging, paper, government, and individual.