Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Correction

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?

Sample Response

The primary purpose of tertiary education is to prepare graduates for their future career. While thousands of people would enrol for the sake of acquiring general knowledge and skills which will make them competitive in the job market, there is a portion of them who would expect to obtain the specific qualifications only for their dream job. Therefore, I strongly believe that university should organise their courses’ programs in order to provide future employees with all the skill sharpening professional training for their specific occupation.

One compelling reason for this is that all the contemporary occupations nowadays are task specific which makes it a necessity for workers to be able to comply with every job requirement. Once they graduate they are expected to take over all the responsibilities their job needs them to do, have the know-how, as well as the expertise to carry out all the arduous and demanding tasks. For instance, as soon as I graduated from the Faculty of Philology I had to take a part-time teaching job. I was overwhelmed with all the expectations my employer had in everyday practice, whereas there was no need at all of all the theory I had mastered throughout my studies.

On the other hand, it is beyond doubt that most of the jobs would require employees to do a lot of multi-tasking and to be capable of meeting deadlines while conducting project work. Apparently, big companies would prefer to employ a person well-equipped with all the necessary knowledge related to several positions within their range, instead of over-staffing. Notwithstanding the competitiveness among businesses, there is always a huge demand for the top notch professionals within one sector. This will be possible, only and only if universities raise their standards and provide broad education and practice for their students.

In conclusion, I would maintain that tertiary education should be more content-specific and ensure the fastest and highest quality for their graduates. Not only will professionals be able to use their university knowledge as a catalyst towards their career, but they will be able to make a living out of it for a lifetime.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. General plural Original: future career Suggested revision: future careers Why it matters: Because the sentence refers to graduates in general, the plural is more natural.
  • 2. Missing article Original: university should organise Suggested revision: universities should organise Why it matters: Use the plural when making a general statement about institutions.
  • 3. Redundant phrase Original: courses’ programs Suggested revision: course programmes Why it matters: The original is awkward and repetitive.
  • 4. Awkward collocation Original: skill sharpening professional training Suggested revision: practical professional training Why it matters: This is clearer and more natural in an academic essay.
  • 5. Compound adjective Original: task specific Suggested revision: task-specific Why it matters: Use a hyphen when the compound adjective comes before the noun idea.
  • 6. Comma after opener Original: Once they graduate they are expected Suggested revision: Once they graduate, they are expected Why it matters: A comma after the introductory clause improves readability.
  • 7. Verb pattern Original: take over all the responsibilities their job needs them to do Suggested revision: take on all the responsibilities their job requires Why it matters: Responsibilities are 'taken on', and jobs 'require' duties.
  • 8. Misleading linker Original: On the other hand Suggested revision: A further reason is that Why it matters: This paragraph supports the same opinion rather than presenting the other side.
  • 9. Standard spelling Original: multi-tasking Suggested revision: multitasking Why it matters: The closed form is common in modern usage.
  • 10. Hyphenated compound Original: top notch professionals Suggested revision: top-notch professionals Why it matters: Use a hyphen for this compound adjective.
  • 11. Unnatural emphasis Original: only and only if Suggested revision: only if Why it matters: The repeated wording is not idiomatic in formal writing.
  • 12. Parallel nouns Original: provide broad education and practice Suggested revision: provide broad education and practical training Why it matters: This creates clearer parallel meaning.

Suggested Rewrites

  • future career future careers
  • university should organise universities should organise
  • courses’ programs course programmes
  • skill sharpening professional training practical professional training
  • task specific task-specific
  • Once they graduate they are expected Once they graduate, they are expected
Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.

TR

Task Response

7.0
Feedback

The response gives a clear opinion that universities should mainly prepare students for work and supports this with relevant workplace-based arguments. However, the opposing view of knowledge for its own sake is not really explored, so the answer is somewhat one-sided for a prompt that presents two functions.

Next step

Add a short concession explaining why knowledge for its own sake matters, then show why workplace preparation should still be the main function.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Feedback

Paragraphing is clear and ideas progress logically. Cohesion is generally effective, though 'On the other hand' is misleading because the paragraph continues the same side rather than presenting the contrasting view.

Next step

Use signposting that matches the logic: 'A further reason' for supporting points, and reserve 'On the other hand' for the opposing argument.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Feedback

The vocabulary range is good and includes academic terms, but several collocations are awkward or over-complex, such as 'skill sharpening professional training' and 'only and only if'.

Next step

Keep the academic tone but simplify unnatural phrases into precise collocations such as 'practical professional training' and 'only if'.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Feedback

There is a good range of complex structures and most meaning is clear. Some long sentences have punctuation, agreement, and structure problems, especially around relative clauses and conditional phrases.

Next step

Break long sentences into two when they contain multiple clauses, and check comma placement after introductory clauses.