Some believe that because everyone needs a place to live, governments should provide houses for those who are too poor to afford their own. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The idea that governments should provide housing support for those who are too poor to afford it is a subject of ongoing debate. While some argue that such government intervention could place too much strain on public resources, I strongly agree that governments should offer this aid to the poorest members of society, as it ensures social stability, promotes social equality, and supports long-term economic development.
Providing housing supports basic well-being and helps reduce homelessness. Regarding the former, secure accommodation is fundamental to human dignity, enabling individuals to access healthcare, education, and stable employment without the disruption of homelessness. For instance, Finland’s social housing programme has helped reduce homelessness and improved public health outcomes, including fewer hospital admissions for stress-related conditions. Moreover, stable housing can prevent a host of social problems. This is because homelessness is closely linked to mental illness, substance abuse, and crime. As a consequence, integrated support services within housing projects can mitigate these risks before they escalate, creating a positive ripple effect across communities.
Beyond these benefits, government housing initiatives also foster social equality and drive economic benefits. By guaranteeing a place to live for the most marginalized citizens, governments reduce exclusion and promote inclusion, which in turn strengthens community bonds and civic participation. Additionally, large-scale housing projects generate significant employment across construction, manufacturing, and ancillary services. For instance, India’s Pradhan Mantri Awas Yojana has not only delivered millions of homes but also created over two million construction jobs, stimulating local small-business growth and boosting tax revenues for reinvestment in social services—thereby enhancing overall economic resilience.
In conclusion, I believe that it is both a moral obligation and a practical necessity for governments to provide housing for people who cannot afford it. Doing so not only protects vulnerable individuals but also strengthens the fabric of society as a whole by promoting fairness, health, and sustainable economic development.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the object Original: too poor to afford it Suggested revision: unable to afford a home Why it matters: Naming the unaffordable item removes the vague pronoun reference.
- 2. Use a precise term Original: this aid Suggested revision: housing assistance Why it matters: The specific noun phrase makes the reference clearer and more formal.
- 3. Avoid lexical repetition Original: supports Suggested revision: promotes Why it matters: Using “promotes” avoids the awkward repetition of “housing support” and “supports.”
- 4. Name the reference Original: Regarding the former Suggested revision: Regarding basic well-being Why it matters: The explicit reference is clearer because the preceding sentence presents two related effects.
- 5. Improve the collocation Original: without the disruption of homelessness Suggested revision: without the instability caused by homelessness Why it matters: “Instability caused by homelessness” expresses the intended effect more naturally.
- 6. Keep verbs parallel Original: improved Suggested revision: improve Why it matters: Both coordinated verbs should follow “has helped” in the base form.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: drive Suggested revision: generate Why it matters: Benefits are more naturally described as being generated than driven.
- 8. Refine employment wording Original: generate significant employment across construction, manufacturing, and ancillary services Suggested revision: generate substantial employment in construction, manufacturing, and ancillary services Why it matters: “Employment in” these sectors is the more natural prepositional pattern.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: For instance, India’s Pradhan Mantri Awas Yojana has not only delivered millions of homes but also created over two million construction jobs, stimulating local small-business growth and boosting tax revenues for reinvestment in social services—thereby enhancing overall economic resilience. Suggested revision: For instance, India’s Pradhan Mantri Awas Yojana has delivered millions of homes and created over two million construction jobs, stimulating small-business growth, boosting tax revenues for social-service reinvestment, and strengthening economic resilience. Why it matters: A simpler parallel structure makes this long example easier to follow without changing its claims.
- 10. Tighten the progression Suggested revision: Group the basic well-being effects first, then signal the shift to the wider social risks before discussing integrated support services. Why it matters: A clearer internal sequence would strengthen progression from individual benefits to community-level effects.
Suggested Rewrites
- too poor to afford it unable to afford a home
- this aid housing assistance
- supports promotes
- Regarding the former Regarding basic well-being
- without the disruption of homelessness without the instability caused by homelessness
- improved improve
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response presents a firm position and develops it persuasively through relevant social and economic arguments, supported by specific examples and highly controlled language. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision in internal referencing and a tendency to make broad causal claims sound more certain than the explanation establishes. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify those claims and make each example's link to the central argument more explicitly analytical.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is consistently clear, and the social and economic reasons are fully developed with relevant explanation and examples.
Qualify broad causal claims and explain more precisely how each example proves the stated societal benefit.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, although a few linking expressions and references are slightly mechanical or imprecise.
Replace vague references such as "the former" with explicit wording and rely more on the logical flow between sentences.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, with natural control of topic-specific and less common expressions.
Refine a few broad or promotional-sounding phrases so that the argument remains consistently measured and exact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence structures are varied, accurate, and controlled throughout, with only rare minor lapses that do not affect clarity.
Maintain this strong control while occasionally shortening heavily layered sentences to make key claims even sharper.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some believe that because everyone needs a place to live, governments should provide houses for those who are too poor to afford their own. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.