The government should make more efforts to promote alternative resources of energy. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The government should make more efforts to promote alternative In this modern era, sources of energy have huge importance in every sector of society whether it is agriculture, industry, or household. any nation cannot think to flourish in these sectors without these sources. the higher authorities should take proper measures to find renewable sources of energy. I fully agree with this opinion and this will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. The government should make more efforts to promote alternative
First and foremost thing is in this world of globalization every state wants to raise his economy and there is a race between different developing countries to achieve this goal. due to this, there is a need for vast sources of energy like coal, petrol, diesel, and gas. there is a storehouse of these sources under the ground and all nations use them on a large scale. moreover, many scientists have made predictions that these sources of energy will become extinct in the forthcoming forty to fifty years if all the countries use them in an excess amount. the governments should set some limits to preserve these energies resources and for this, they could pose taxes on these items.
Furthermore, the government could give subsidies to people to develop renewable sources of energy. for instance, people can build solar power plants which is a natural source of energy. in spite of this, the authorities could organize some awareness programs so that people could learn to establish gobar gas plants in which waste dung of animals is used and most important thing is that it does not create any pollution. in addition, the governments could open some institutes where training could be provided to masses to build natural resources of energy. the government can give scholarships to the people who do not afford to take training in these institutes. the government can also take the help of media to telecast documentaries to use natural sources of energy and this will not only decrease pollution but save our planet also. The government should make more efforts to promote alternative
In conclusion, both the government and people should make joint efforts to promote renewable sources of energy.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove copied fragment Original: The government should make more efforts to promote alternative In this modern era Suggested revision: In this modern era Why it matters: The incomplete task fragment disrupts the opening sentence and should be removed.
- 2. Use formal wording Original: huge Suggested revision: great Why it matters: Great importance is the standard formal collocation in this context.
- 3. Use a plural noun Original: household Suggested revision: households Why it matters: The list names broad sectors, so the final item needs a plural noun referring to homes.
- 4. Correct negative structure Original: any nation cannot think to flourish Suggested revision: no nation can expect to flourish Why it matters: The revision uses a grammatical negative subject and a natural verb construction.
- 5. Name the actor Original: the higher authorities Suggested revision: governments Why it matters: Governments identifies the responsible actor more directly and consistently.
- 6. Use a precise verb Original: find Suggested revision: develop Why it matters: Develop better describes the policy effort proposed in the response.
- 7. Start the sentence clearly Original: due to this Suggested revision: Consequently Why it matters: The transition should be capitalized and expressed with a clear sentence connector.
- 8. Clarify the quantity Original: vast sources of energy Suggested revision: substantial energy supplies Why it matters: This phrase more accurately expresses the idea of needing a large quantity of energy.
- 9. Use the correct term Original: become extinct Suggested revision: be depleted Why it matters: Finite resources are depleted rather than becoming extinct.
- 10. Use natural time wording Original: forthcoming Suggested revision: next Why it matters: Next is the natural modifier for a future period of this length.
- 11. Correct the quantity phrase Original: in an excess amount Suggested revision: in excessive amounts Why it matters: The plural idiom in excessive amounts is required for repeated large-scale use.
- 12. Correct the noun modifier Original: energies Suggested revision: energy Why it matters: Energy functions as a singular noun modifier before resources.
Suggested Rewrites
- The government should make more efforts to promote alternative In this modern era In this modern era
- huge great
- household households
- any nation cannot think to flourish no nation can expect to flourish
- the higher authorities governments
- find develop
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and offers several relevant government actions, including subsidies, training, and public awareness. Its main limitation is uneven development: the discussion of limiting fossil-fuel use only partly explains how alternatives would be promoted, while repeated prompt fragments and frequent sentence-level errors weaken clarity. The highest-priority improvement is to organise two fully developed reasons around specific renewable-energy policies and proofread carefully for sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and natural collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and several relevant policies are proposed, but some ideas are only partly developed or indirectly linked to promoting alternatives.
Build each body paragraph around one specific renewable-energy policy and explain precisely how it would increase adoption.
Coherence and Cohesion
The broad paragraph sequence is understandable, but mechanical linking, run-on sentences, and repeated prompt fragments disrupt progression.
Remove copied fragments and use clear sentence boundaries and topic sentences to guide the reader through each argument.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Use standard combinations such as grow the economy, impose taxes, renewable energy sources, and afford training.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex structures, but frequent errors in capitalization, agreement, articles, and sentence construction weaken control.
Proofread every sentence for a clear subject and verb, correct agreement, required articles, and accurate punctuation.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
The government should make more efforts to promote alternative resources of energy. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.