Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extend do you agree with this view?
Sample Response
Each country’s government has one of the most important responsibility to use its resources in such a way that it address the most essential needs of the country. Looking into this context, for developing nations, where food, clothing and shelter related requirements are yet not addressed fully, how logical it is to spend money on art and art related causes, when these funds can be utilized for addressing other essential needs of country and its people. Although routing the money to other different cause, which look more primary in nature, look like the right choice, promoting and nurturing art provide equally important benefits to a state if not higher. In this essay, we will discuss how art is a must area to take care of. First of all, when the government support art institutions through subsidy and grants, it support the entire fraternity whose livelihood depends on the well-being of art. Thus, it help in providing sufficient life support to artist and people who are connected to arts for livelihood. In this way, such government support help thrive the art segment. Secondly, art not only provide just a medium for earning, it also bring the creative side of individuals. These skills are very important for out-of-box thinking. This is evident when you consider the fact that many organizations and universities give special preference to artists as they know it is a rare breed to cultivate synthetically. At the end, art for any country, is known to be deeply connected to its culture and value system. In the present era of globalization, which also bring the ill effect of weakening ties to our roots, art keep these connection alive and strengthen the character of a person.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural after one of Original: responsibility Suggested revision: responsibilities Why it matters: The structure “one of the” must be followed by a plural count noun.
- 2. Correct subject agreement Original: address Suggested revision: addresses Why it matters: The third-person singular subject “it” requires “addresses.”
- 3. Use a natural plural Original: other different cause Suggested revision: other causes Why it matters: “Other different” is redundant, and the general reference requires a plural noun.
- 4. Use precise priority wording Original: which look more primary in nature Suggested revision: which seem more urgent Why it matters: “More primary in nature” is unnatural for describing needs that require greater priority.
- 5. Match the singular subject Original: look Suggested revision: looks Why it matters: The subject “routing the money” is singular, so the verb must be “looks.”
- 6. Fix agreement and comparison Original: provide equally important benefits to a state if not higher Suggested revision: provides benefits to a state that are equally important, if not greater Why it matters: The singular subject requires “provides,” and benefits can be greater rather than higher.
- 7. Use formal wording Original: a must area to take care of Suggested revision: an essential area to support Why it matters: The original phrase is informal and unnatural in this academic context.
- 8. Correct subject agreement Original: support Suggested revision: supports Why it matters: The singular subject “government” requires “supports.”
- 9. Use parallel plurals Original: subsidy Suggested revision: subsidies Why it matters: The count noun “subsidy” should be plural alongside “grants.”
- 10. Correct verb agreement Original: it support the entire fraternity Suggested revision: it supports the entire community Why it matters: The singular subject requires “supports,” while “community” is the natural collective noun here.
- 11. Name the arts sector Original: well-being of art Suggested revision: well-being of the arts Why it matters: “The arts” refers to the cultural field on which these people depend.
- 12. Correct verb pattern Original: it help in providing Suggested revision: it helps to provide Why it matters: The singular subject requires “helps,” followed naturally by the infinitive “to provide.”
Suggested Rewrites
- responsibility responsibilities
- address addresses
- other different cause other causes
- which look more primary in nature which seem more urgent
- look looks
- provide equally important benefits to a state if not higher provides benefits to a state that are equally important, if not greater
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a recognizable argument for government support of the arts and supplies several relevant benefits, especially livelihoods, creativity, and cultural continuity. However, these points are often asserted rather than convincingly explained, and frequent agreement and word-choice errors make some sentences awkward. The highest priority is to develop fewer ideas with precise examples while editing each sentence for basic grammatical control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A relevant position is maintained and several benefits of arts funding are identified, though development is uneven and sometimes unconvincing.
Explain each main benefit through a specific causal chain or credible example and finish with a concise conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognizable sequence, but mechanical signposting, unwieldy sentences, and a single-block format weaken progression.
Organize the response into clear paragraphs, each built around one main claim and its support.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonably broad vocabulary, but frequent unnatural collocations and imprecise expressions reduce clarity.
Choose simpler, established phrases for livelihoods, creativity, and cultural preservation instead of forcing elaborate wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally recoverable, but subject-verb agreement, noun forms, articles, and sentence construction are frequently inaccurate.
Check every clause for a finite verb that agrees with its subject, then correct singular and plural noun forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extend do you agree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.