Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Some people believe that the government should invest more in the rail system and build more railroads rather than diverting funds to improve highways and road transportation systems. I partially agree with the statement as I believe that the decision to build railways or roads should be made based on the geography and requirements of the country, and a balance in developing both systems will bring far better results.
To begin with, when a country has extensive rail networks, it will positively affect the logistic costs. The selling price of many goods would be cheaper since a single locomotive will carry tonnes of crops, goods or liquor. However, a government needs to do some feasibility studies about the geological conditions of an area before planning to improve railroads. It is a fact that some areas might not be suitable for railways, as those areas might have swamps or rocky mountains, for example. In such areas, the government should focus on improving road or water transportation. For instance, Borneo in Indonesia is one of the largest islands in the world, but most of the areas are swamps. So it is not suitable for railroads but good for an integrated water and road transportation system.
On top of that, by building integrated subway stations in city areas, and enhancing road transports, the traffic congestion could be avoided. For example, Singapore has an excellent train network - called MRT - as well as efficient road transportation, therefore, people can use both MRT and cars. As a result, Singapore is free from traffic congestion and air pollution.
In conclusion, a government should invest in constructing railroads where applicable, but also improve its road transportation system in order to carry more goods and reduce traffic congestion and pollution. An integrated road and train system can ensure that.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use railway system Original: rail Suggested revision: railway Why it matters: Railway system is the conventional term for a national network of rail transport.
- 2. Use balanced-development phrase Original: a balance in developing both systems Suggested revision: balanced development of both systems Why it matters: The noun phrase clearly expresses coordinated investment in both transport systems.
- 3. Use logistics costs Original: the logistic costs Suggested revision: logistics costs Why it matters: Logistics is the noun used attributively for the costs of transporting goods.
- 4. Use lower price Original: cheaper Suggested revision: lower Why it matters: Prices are high or low, while goods are expensive or cheap.
- 5. Use conduct-studies collocation Original: do some feasibility studies about Suggested revision: conduct feasibility studies of Why it matters: Conduct studies of a subject is the appropriate formal collocation.
- 6. Clarify railway development Original: planning to improve railroads Suggested revision: planning railway development Why it matters: The noun phrase more precisely covers building or improving rail infrastructure.
- 7. Use uncountable area Original: most of the areas are swamps Suggested revision: much of its area is swamp Why it matters: Area is uncountable in this geographical reference, and its clearly refers to the island.
- 8. Make suitability parallel Original: not suitable for railroads but good for Suggested revision: unsuitable for railroads but suitable for Why it matters: Repeating suitable creates a clear parallel comparison between transport modes.
- 9. Use road-and-rail term Original: train Suggested revision: rail Why it matters: Road and rail is the conventional parallel term for the two transport networks.
- 10. Clarify final reference Original: can ensure that Suggested revision: can achieve both goals Why it matters: The explicit noun phrase identifies the goods-transport and congestion-reduction outcomes instead of using vague that.
- 11. Specify national needs Original: made based on the geography and requirements of the country Suggested revision: based on a country's geography and transport needs Why it matters: Transport needs is more precise than the broad word requirements, and the possessive phrase is more concise.
- 12. Use freight-train wording Original: a single locomotive will carry tonnes of crops, goods or liquor Suggested revision: a single freight train can carry tonnes of agricultural products and other goods Why it matters: A locomotive provides traction while a freight train carries cargo, and the revised list avoids overlapping categories.
Suggested Rewrites
- rail railway
- a balance in developing both systems balanced development of both systems
- the logistic costs logistics costs
- cheaper lower
- do some feasibility studies about conduct feasibility studies of
- planning to improve railroads planning railway development
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay presents a clear, nuanced position that transport investment should reflect geography and that integrated rail and road systems often produce better results. Its strongest feature is the use of Borneo and Singapore to support practical considerations, though some claims are overstated and several collocations or sentence structures lack precision. The highest-priority improvement is to compare the relative benefits of rail and roads more explicitly using qualified, evidence-based outcomes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A consistent partial-agreement position is well developed through logistics, geography, and urban integration, although a few outcomes are asserted too absolutely.
Qualify claims about congestion and pollution and compare how each transport mode serves passenger and freight needs under different conditions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from the conditional thesis through geographic feasibility and integrated urban transport to a focused conclusion.
Separate the rail-freight benefit from the geographic limitation more explicitly so each stage of the comparison has a distinct focus.
Lexical Resource
A good range of transport and planning vocabulary is used, but occasional imprecise combinations such as 'logistic costs' and 'road transports' reduce naturalness.
Use accurate terms such as 'logistics costs', 'road transport', 'conduct feasibility studies', and 'integrated transport network'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally controlled, though occasional agreement, article, punctuation, and sentence-linking errors remain noticeable.
Review compound sentences for correct punctuation and ensure conditional and comparative structures remain parallel throughout.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.