Some people opine that entertainment or leisure activities should be subsidized by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
People nowadays suffer from work-related stress and the increasing competition and need for extra incomeearning to support their familiessupport the family have already made their liveslife stressful and hecticquite nonchalant and hectic. Entertainment and leisure activities are important parts of our overall wellbeing, and forwellbeing and for a better lifestyle and increased productivity government should allocate fundingbudget to promote such activities.
Firstly, it might seem quite logical that when a government already has the scarcity of budget for important sectors like education, healthcare, transportation, trade and agriculture how come extra money could be allocated for leisure and entertainment activities. But there is no denying the fact that entertainment and leisure activities have an immense effect on our physiological and psychological well-being. A small amount of money spent on subsidising entertainmentmoney subsidized for entertainment can actually save the healthcare sector a substantial amountsave a huge amount from health care sector. Thus, subsidising entertainment and leisure activitiesThus subsiding budget for the amusement and leisure activities for people is actually a beneficial idea.
Secondly, governments in most countriesmost of the countries already provide substantial subsidies forsubsidize a large amount of money for amusement and leisure activities of the general publicmass people. For instance, the parks, botanical and zoological gardens, public libraries, sports centrespublic library, sports centre, swimming complexes, beaches etc we see around us are already financed by the government. In this regardFrom this regards, this is always a good idea for the government to provide facilities for leisure activities to its citizens. Thirdly, proper facilities of entertainment and free time activities are proven to be educative in many cases. For instance, libraries, museums and establishments like these are not only entertaining but also offer a huge opportunity to present educationaleducative information to the people.
Again, the government can actually earn money from these facilities. For instance, beaches, sports centres, theatres and auditoriums could be great sources of revenueearning for the government if they are properly utilised. Finally, it is proven that free-time activities and entertainment facilities decrease local crime ratesthe crime rate in a locality. Thus investing in public activities would actually bring a huge benefit for the government and the country.
To end the discussion, I quite agree that allocating budget for the leisure and enjoyment of people is quite a prudent idea and every government around the world should do that for the overall benefit of the country and its citizensthe overall benefits of the country and the citizens.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its sustained support for subsidies through varied reasons involving wellbeing, education, public revenue, and crime reduction, illustrated with familiar public facilities. Its main limitation is that several claims are asserted too broadly and the language frequently sounds awkward or repetitive, reducing their persuasive force. The highest priority is to develop two or three strongest benefits with clearer causal evidence while acknowledging how subsidies should be prioritised against essential services.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is consistently supported by multiple relevant reasons and examples, although some benefits are asserted without sufficient qualification or evidence.
Explain how subsidy levels should be balanced against healthcare or education spending and substantiate the claimed health or crime-reduction savings.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through financial objections and several benefits, but the numbered sequence becomes somewhat list-like and repetitive.
Group the ideas into two developed themes—public wellbeing and economic or educational returns—rather than adding successive loosely connected benefits.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for public spending, wellbeing, leisure, education, and revenue, but several inaccurate collocations reduce naturalness.
Use standard phrases such as ‘limited budgets’, ‘subsidising leisure activities’, ‘the general public’, ‘in this respect’, and ‘sources of revenue’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures is used and meaning remains clear, though article, agreement, punctuation, and clause-boundary errors recur.
Break the long rhetorical sentence in the second paragraph into complete clauses and check articles before singular countable nouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people opine that entertainment or leisure activities should be subsidized by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.