A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc.). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Nowadays, the responsibilities of the government are being debated quite a lot by the people and human rights activists. The state role should only be limited, restricted and confined to few sectors or it should cover every aspect of their citizens and residents’ well-being is a topic of great debate. It has been argued that the government should only be accountable for developing country’s military capabilities and infrastructure enhancement or it should be responsible for other important facilities i.e. education, medical, social protection as well. I strongly believe that all the aspects of life associated with state citizens should be directly undertaken, developed, maintained and operated by the state authorities. This argument will be proven by taking into account availability of resources with government and monopoly by private entities and individuals.
Firstly, the funds and financing available by the state is substantially high giving them the cushion to allocated funds and projects for every sector according to its requirements. For instance, the state collects the tax from its citizens on the reason and commitment that the taxpayer’s money will again be spent by utilising on the development and improvement of the infrastructure, healthcare, transportation system etc. On the contrary if it refuses to oblige and falls back on the commitment of spending money on public it could result in reduction in popularity and tax collection. The example shows clearly that the government has the money available in its pool which could be wisely spent for every department and sector. This is evident from the above discussion that budgetary allocation should be done to all public sectors for facilitating general public.
Secondly, depending on private companies and personnel to establish such important divisions i.e. medical, education etc. can create a monopoly and result in deprivation of these facilities for underprivileged people. For instance, the private owner will develop any of the hospitals for commercial purposes and the poor people won’t be able to afford that treatment. This example illustrates that the private people should not be given the sole responsibility to manage these core sectors. Thus, it can be seen that giving individual companies this major role could sabotage the lives of underserved people of the society.
In a nutshell, the resources present with the state and cartel thinking of individuals should be kept in mind by the state authorities for developing or upgrading country. I do believe that the state should be completely responsible for building the basic necessities concerning their citizen life and health. I suppose, going another way round could complicate the problems for sitting government as private individuals could be involved in blackmailing in case their demands are not met.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise formal wording Original: debated quite a lot by the people Suggested revision: widely debated by the public Why it matters: The revision is more concise and appropriately formal for an academic essay.
- 2. Remove unnecessary article Original: all the aspects of life Suggested revision: all aspects of life Why it matters: All directly determines the plural noun, so the definite article is unnecessary.
- 3. Use natural citizen term Original: state citizens Suggested revision: citizens Why it matters: State citizens is not a natural collocation and the context already identifies the governing state.
- 4. Use service verbs Original: directly undertaken, developed, maintained and operated Suggested revision: directly provided, maintained, and operated Why it matters: Services can be provided, maintained, and operated, whereas undertaken and developed do not fit every aspect listed.
- 5. Add definite article Original: taking into account availability Suggested revision: taking into account the availability Why it matters: The specific availability of government resources requires the definite article.
- 6. Correct resource relation Original: resources with government Suggested revision: resources available to the government Why it matters: Available to clearly expresses the government's access to the resources.
- 7. Clarify monopoly risk Original: monopoly by private entities Suggested revision: monopolies created by private entities Why it matters: The revision states the relationship between private providers and monopolies more precisely.
- 8. Use general plural Original: collects the tax Suggested revision: collects taxes Why it matters: The sentence refers to taxation generally, so the plural noun takes no definite article.
- 9. Use understanding phrase Original: on the reason and commitment Suggested revision: on the understanding Why it matters: On the understanding that is the natural phrase for the stated expectation about tax revenue.
- 10. Repair passive phrase Original: will again be spent by utilising on Suggested revision: will be used for Why it matters: The revision removes the ungrammatical combination of passive verbs and prepositions.
- 11. Use correct contrast link Original: On the contrary if Suggested revision: However, if Why it matters: However introduces the alternative outcome, and the following subordinate clause requires a comma after the connector.
- 12. Use commitment collocation Original: falls back on the commitment Suggested revision: fails to honour its commitment Why it matters: Honour a commitment is the standard collocation for fulfilling a promise.
Suggested Rewrites
- debated quite a lot by the people widely debated by the public
- all the aspects of life all aspects of life
- state citizens citizens
- directly undertaken, developed, maintained and operated directly provided, maintained, and operated
- taking into account availability taking into account the availability
- resources with government resources available to the government
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and offers two relevant reasons for government responsibility, using taxation and unequal private access to develop the argument. Its main limitation is the frequent grammatical and collocational inaccuracy that makes several sentences cumbersome or partly unclear; the priority is to simplify sentence structures and use more natural policy vocabulary so the reasoning can be followed without effort.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is maintained and supported by two relevant, extended arguments, though some claims are overgeneralised or insufficiently justified.
Explain the practical limits of private provision more carefully and replace speculative claims about blackmail with a well-supported consequence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear introduction-reasons-conclusion structure, but mechanical signposting, repetition, and cumbersome sentences weaken flow.
Shorten the repetitive introduction and use referencing that connects claims and examples directly rather than repeatedly announcing them.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for government and public-service issues, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Use natural expressions such as government funding, allocate resources, public services, and private-sector monopolies.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted throughout, but agreement, article, preposition, and clause-construction errors occur frequently.
Build shorter complete clauses first, then check subject-verb agreement and infinitive forms before combining them.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc.). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.