Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family?
Sample Response
In today’s busy world, the cost of living is rising quickly, making it necessary for both parents to work to earn a livingwork hard to make a living. Parents often put their careers first and continue to work even after having children. Grandparents become the main or only childcare option for these parentsmain or only option for these parents, even though there are some downsides. In my view, the benefits of having grandparents raise children outweigh any potential negative consequences.
Undoubtedly, grandparents serve as reliable caretakers for their grandchildren. Parents can entrust their children to them, allowing them to work with peace of mind. Grandparents not only feed and care for the children as devotedly as they do for their own, but they also eliminate the need to transport children to daycare centers. MoreoverConsistently, grandparents havepossess extensive experience in raising their own children, which has made them experienced caregiversestablishing them as accomplished parents. This experienceproficiency enables them to successfully raise their grandchildren as well. Often, they exhibit superior decision-making skills, rendering them ideal role models for their grandchildren.
HoweverContrastingly, there are drawbacks to this trend. FirstPrimarily, children raised by grandparents often develop weaker bondsbonds and relationships with their parents. Children who cannot tell their parents apart from their grandparents are not being raised properly. Moreover, grandparents, being olderbeing in their older years, may find it challenging to care for children, as this is typically a time for rest and relaxation. Additionally, the generation gap can affectimpact various aspects of children’s development.
In today’s world, it is frequently necessary for both parents to actively participate in providing financial support for their families. While relying on grandparents for childcare may pose certain challenges, it can also strengthen family bonds and bring about positive outcomes.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear comparative position and develops a relevant range of benefits and drawbacks for parents, children, and grandparents. Its main limitation is that some claims are insufficiently explained or questionable, while the conclusion does not fully restate the earlier judgement. Prioritise deeper cause-and-effect support for the key impacts and end with a conclusion that clearly matches the stated position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the family-wide effects and maintains a clear preference, though some points are asserted rather than convincingly developed.
Explain the most important positive and negative effects with clearer causal detail and make the final judgement consistent with the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with generally effective linking.
Use less mechanical paragraph-opening linkers and ensure the conclusion follows directly from the comparison developed in the body.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary conveys the argument precisely overall, despite several unnatural choices such as accomplished parents and Contrastingly.
Prefer natural academic collocations and check whether transition words accurately express the relationship between ideas.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence structures is used with strong control and only minor non-impeding lapses.
Refine punctuation and clause shaping in longer sentences to make an already accurate response more concise and natural.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.