Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
More and more people today are choosing to travel internationally. This positive development is mainly because of a rise in middle class income coupled with advances in aviation.
People today can afford to travel as it has become more convenient. The last half century has seen wages in both developed and developing companies climb with the concomitant expansion of the global middle class. Workers have the disposable income to travel that they lacked in the past. This has been complemented with safer airplanes so individuals are not afraid to fly. Airfares have also become cheaper as companies like Boeing produce more efficient planes, competition intensifies between competing airlines, and the supply more than meets demand for flights. These factors combined have spawned a golden age of international travel.
Looking at the opportunity in perspective, it is hard to see the advent of international travel as anything less than one of mankind’s greatest achievements. For the entirety of human history, most people lived and died near to where they were born. Anyone who wanted to travel to another country had to possess enourmous wealth, time, and courage. Today, the average employee can save up and travel to see the wonders of the Rennaissance in Southern Europe, the vast monuments to history and modernity in China, or explore any other corner of Earth that has piqued their interest. This is an unprecedented opportunity unavailable to past generations.
In conclusion, international travel is a byproduct of the modern age and we should all be grateful for its possibility. There are clear environmental drawbacks but those should not blind people to its benefits taken as a whole.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix compound and number Original: middle class income Suggested revision: middle-class incomes Why it matters: Use a hyphen in the compound adjective and a plural noun when referring to the earnings of a broad group.
- 2. Correct the noun Original: companies Suggested revision: countries Why it matters: Countries, rather than companies, are conventionally classified as developed or developing.
- 3. Use correct preposition Original: with Suggested revision: by Why it matters: The passive form of complement takes by to introduce the additional factor.
- 4. Remove repetition Original: competition intensifies between competing airlines Suggested revision: competition between airlines intensifies Why it matters: Using competition and competing together is unnecessarily repetitive.
- 5. Use a precise verb Original: supply more than meets demand for flights Suggested revision: supply exceeds demand for flights Why it matters: Exceeds expresses the relationship between supply and demand more directly.
- 6. Correct the expression Original: Looking at the opportunity in perspective Suggested revision: Putting this opportunity into perspective Why it matters: The standard expression is put something into perspective.
- 7. Use concise preposition Original: near to where Suggested revision: near where Why it matters: Near can directly introduce the location clause without to.
- 8. Correct spelling Original: enourmous Suggested revision: enormous Why it matters: Enormous is misspelled.
- 9. Correct spelling Original: Rennaissance Suggested revision: Renaissance Why it matters: Renaissance has one n after the initial capital and a double s.
- 10. Use natural phrasing Original: grateful for its possibility Suggested revision: grateful that it is possible Why it matters: The that-clause expresses gratitude for the opportunity more naturally.
- 11. Clarify the reference Original: benefits taken as a whole Suggested revision: overall benefits Why it matters: Overall benefits makes the intended combined evaluation clearer.
Suggested Rewrites
- middle class income middle-class incomes
- companies countries
- with by
- competition intensifies between competing airlines competition between airlines intensifies
- supply more than meets demand for flights supply exceeds demand for flights
- Looking at the opportunity in perspective Putting this opportunity into perspective
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its confident, well-supported explanation of why international travel has expanded, using income and aviation developments to build a persuasive case. Its main limitation is that the positive evaluation leans heavily on broad historical contrast and only briefly acknowledges the environmental drawback; the highest-priority improvement is to deepen the evaluation by weighing that drawback against the claimed personal and cultural benefits.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully answers both questions with a clear positive position and well-developed explanations of affordability, aviation, and access.
Deepen the evaluation by directly weighing the briefly mentioned environmental cost against the benefits of wider travel.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly without drawing attention to themselves.
Make the transition into the benefits paragraph more direct so its evaluative role is immediately apparent.
Lexical Resource
A wide and effective vocabulary supports precise argument, although a few spelling errors and awkward choices reduce complete accuracy.
Proofread words such as 'enormous' and 'Renaissance' and replace imprecise choices such as 'developing companies' with the intended terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with strong control, and the few grammatical lapses do not impede communication.
Refine occasional preposition and reference choices, particularly in phrases such as 'complemented with safer airplanes'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.