Advertisements are becoming more and more common nowadays. Is it a positive or a negative development?
Sample Response
In the contemporary epoch, there is irrefutable debate among folk about online adverts in contrast to the past. In this essay, I am going to examine the stated question and elucidate on numerous motives and then interpret why I reckon that it is a positive initiative in the modern age that empowers a bunch of businesses in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin with, the first notion, there are bountiful rationals for commercials. The most preponderant is that evidently, it is a handy way to communicate with customers and attract them to acquire the products. for instance, presently the entire world shopping trend is shifting to online channels and consumers get the items through robust advertisements. In addition to this, there are numerous other upsides in a plethora of domains and societies. Appreciation to the wide range of advantages it offers, not only does one benefit more when it comes to being effective, but they can enhance productivity and quality of their lives, with much ease, efficacy, and convenience. Needless to say, all these merits stand out in good stead, as far as augmenting the chances of prosperity and excellence is concerned.
On the other hand, another pivotal factor in the aforementioned proposition is that it is only likely to help one thrive and excel in varied areas. Besides, when only one follows such a system, can they broaden their horizons, hence learning these attributes as dedication and perseverance. As a result, it is apparent why myriad petitions that in a positive direction. to cite an example, According to a global report, more than 60% of the population prefers to buy groceries through websites after massive marketing of the items by the business.
In the nutshell, according to the forenamed quarrels, I would like to restate my perspective that the fruitful vantages of promotion are indeed too terrific to neglect the physical inspection of the products and then procure it in the technological era. Hereby it is a positive tendency.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: epoch Suggested revision: era Why it matters: Contemporary era is the more natural collocation in this context.
- 2. Correct the collocation Original: irrefutable Suggested revision: considerable Why it matters: A debate may be considerable, while irrefutable describes evidence or arguments.
- 3. Use formal wording Original: folk Suggested revision: people Why it matters: People is more appropriate than folk in a formal essay.
- 4. Clarify the verb phrase Original: elucidate on numerous motives Suggested revision: explain several reasons Why it matters: Explain several reasons expresses the intended meaning clearly and idiomatically.
- 5. Use precise wording Original: interpret why I reckon Suggested revision: explain why I believe Why it matters: Interpret does not fit the writer's act of presenting a personal view here.
- 6. Match the task term Original: initiative Suggested revision: development Why it matters: Advertising becoming more common is a development rather than an initiative.
- 7. Use formal quantity Original: a bunch of businesses Suggested revision: many businesses Why it matters: Many is more concise and formal than a bunch of.
- 8. Correct word choice Original: bountiful rationals Suggested revision: many reasons Why it matters: Rationals is the wrong noun; reasons conveys the intended meaning.
- 9. Avoid faulty emphasis Original: preponderant Suggested revision: important Why it matters: Preponderant already implies dominance and is unnatural with most here.
- 10. Use a direct verb Original: acquire the products Suggested revision: buy products Why it matters: Buy is the natural verb for customers obtaining advertised products.
- 11. Fix example transition Original: for instance, presently Suggested revision: For instance, currently Why it matters: This starts a new sentence, and currently expresses the time reference more naturally.
- 12. Fix noun phrase Original: entire world shopping trend Suggested revision: global shopping trend Why it matters: Global shopping trend is the idiomatic noun phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- epoch era
- irrefutable considerable
- folk people
- elucidate on numerous motives explain several reasons
- interpret why I reckon explain why I believe
- initiative development
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response maintains a clear positive position and uses a recognizable essay structure, but its support is largely vague, repetitive, or only loosely connected to the question, and frequent unnatural phrasing sometimes obscures the intended point. The highest priority is to develop two specific benefits of advertising through clear cause-and-effect reasoning and concrete examples, using simpler and more accurate language throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear positive position is maintained, but the benefits are insufficiently developed and several claims remain vague or tangential.
Explain two distinct positive effects in detail and support each with a directly relevant, credible example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is visible and the position progresses broadly, though mechanical linking and unclear sentences weaken cohesion.
Give each body paragraph one focused central idea and connect its sentences through clear logical relationships.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a wide vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate word choices and collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Prefer familiar, accurate vocabulary and check collocations such as those used for benefits, consumers, and advertising.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in sentence construction, articles, agreement, and capitalization impede clarity.
Use shorter controlled sentences first, then proofread each one for a clear subject-verb structure and accurate agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Advertisements are becoming more and more common nowadays. Is it a positive or a negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.