In some countries, citizens are allowed to keep a gun in their home. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Discuss and give your opinion.
Sample Response
In many countries, people are allowedit is allowed for people to keep guns in order to protect their houses from criminals. Some people believe that it has a major benefita huge gain for the owners than drawbacksthan its drawback. On the other hand, some folks believe that it is inappropriate if every house owner has guns in their homesguns on their desk as it would increase the death rate from gunfire. It is not an easy topic to talk about, but this essay will discuss it.
At first, a number of countriesrealms have certain regulationsregulation about firearm allowance for the public for security reasonsis caused by security point of view. They claimed that every person has their own right and duty to protect their own belongings, and any trespasser is consideredany trespasser considered as a criminal. Such situations are commonly found in liberalliberalism country, where privacy is the highest priority. What they believe are consistentgradual with their ideology, and law about pistol possession cannot be helped.
However, some thought grew in society. Some believe that firearm ownership is wrongBelieve that firearm owning are wrong, because it may harm other people. It is misused by their owner, instead to protect them. Guns are sometimes usedGun sometimes used to hurt or even kill other people. From this, tonnes of people start to argue whether it is worthwhileif it worth enough to let civilianscivilian to have their own gun for protection?
The gunshot wounds and death rate from the gunshots is significantly higher in those countries where citizens are allowed to keep guns freely. The possessions of guns often drive people to commit crimes that were otherwise impossible. These events clearly state that there are other better ways of ensuring citizens’ safety rather than allowing having guns and shooting any trespasser.
At last, we could see that firearm allowance is a serious dangera total doom. At first, it is for protection, but it has become a threat to our society instead of becoming an assured security. I personally believe that people could protect their own lives and houses without guns, and police are more than enough to handle some big crimes that require guns to handle.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response presents a clear position against private gun ownership and gives more sustained support to the risks than to the benefits. Its main limitation is uneven development, compounded by awkward transitions, inaccurate word choices, and frequent sentence-level errors; the highest priority is to build a balanced comparison around one specific advantage and stronger, clearly explained disadvantages, using complete sentences and natural topic vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses advantages and disadvantages and gives a clear opinion against gun ownership. Development is uneven, and the advantage side is less convincing than the disadvantage side.
Present one clear advantage and one or two stronger disadvantages, then directly compare why one side outweighs the other.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is present and the basic direction is clear. Some transitions are awkward, and several short fragments interrupt coherence.
Use clear topic sentences and avoid sentence fragments such as Believe that firearm owning are wrong.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary attempts topic-specific words, but word choice is often inaccurate or unnatural.
Use common phrases such as gun ownership, firearm regulations, self-defence, and public safety.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors with articles, plurals, verb forms, and clause structure affect clarity. Meaning is generally understandable.
Check every sentence for a complete subject and verb, especially when starting with however or believe.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, citizens are allowed to keep a gun in their home. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Discuss and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.