Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Our world has become profoundly affected by unprecedented technological and globalization advancements, which have transformed the way we live and make decisions, both little and large. We have an enormous variety of options to choose from. However, some people argue that we don’t have the liberty of making multiple choices. In my opinion, with developing technology and resources, our freedom of choice has greatly enhanced. In the following paragraphs, I shall elaborate on my viewpoint.
Primarily, people can now access reliable information on the internet at any moment, due to technological advancements. Due to this, anyone can have quick access to an incredible amount of materials online, and this freedom allows people to make educated decisions at every stage of their lives. When purchasing online, people are now confronted with a large array of options. Unlike conventional storefronts, e-commerce platforms like Amazon and eBay do not have space limits. As a result, when a customer searches for a product on these sites, hundreds or thousands of similar goods emerge.
Additionally, other technical improvements have made it easier to grow more foods, prepare new cuisines, preserve them, and alleviate the world’s hunger problem. Take the example of toothpaste where in the past, one just chose their favorite toothpaste brand and size. However, now, each brand offers a huge number of flavors and a variety of benefits. People can decide whether they want their toothpaste to whiten their teeth, strengthen them, make their gums healthier or freshen their breath.
Nevertheless, this multitude of options creates a lot of confusion when it comes to deciding which brand to buy their clothing and fashion items from or restaurant delicacies to try. Similarly, people have a variety of employment alternatives to choose from, but their options are limited when they choose to work in their respective hometown or establish a business.
To sum up, there are so many choices in today's contemporary period. Though there might not be as many choices at present, technological advancement is always expanding the list and presenting us with an abundance of choices.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix word partnership Original: unprecedented technological and globalization advancements Suggested revision: unprecedented technological advances and globalization Why it matters: Globalization is a process and does not naturally modify advancements in this construction.
- 2. Use precise contrast Original: both little and large Suggested revision: both minor and major Why it matters: Minor and major are the natural terms for contrasting the scale of decisions.
- 3. Remove redundancy Original: options to choose from Suggested revision: options Why it matters: Options already conveys that the alternatives can be chosen.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: liberty of making multiple choices Suggested revision: freedom to make multiple choices Why it matters: Freedom to make is the natural collocation for the intended meaning.
- 5. Clarify cause relationship Original: with developing technology and resources Suggested revision: as technology and resources develop Why it matters: The clause clearly expresses the causal relationship and avoids an awkward modifier.
- 6. Fix verb construction Original: enhanced Suggested revision: increased Why it matters: Freedom can increase, while enhanced would require a passive construction here.
- 7. Smooth causal phrasing Original: at any moment, due to technological advancements Suggested revision: at any time because of technological advances Why it matters: The revision removes the unnecessary comma and expresses the cause more naturally.
- 8. Use neutral wording Original: confronted Suggested revision: presented Why it matters: Presented with fits a neutral description of having many shopping options.
- 9. Use clearer term Original: conventional storefronts Suggested revision: physical stores Why it matters: Physical stores creates a clearer contrast with online platforms.
- 10. Use precise expression Original: do not have space limits Suggested revision: are not constrained by shelf space Why it matters: The revision states the relevant retail limitation more precisely.
- 11. Fix awkward collocation Original: similar goods emerge Suggested revision: similar products appear Why it matters: Products appear is the natural collocation for search results.
- 12. Use natural phrasing Original: one just chose Suggested revision: people simply chose Why it matters: This phrasing is clearer and avoids the stiff generic pronoun one.
Suggested Rewrites
- unprecedented technological and globalization advancements unprecedented technological advances and globalization
- both little and large both minor and major
- options to choose from options
- liberty of making multiple choices freedom to make multiple choices
- with developing technology and resources as technology and resources develop
- enhanced increased
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a generally clear view and supports it with concrete examples, especially the discussion of online shopping and product variety. However, some development drifts from the question, and the conclusion contains a contradictory qualification that weakens the position. The highest-priority improvement is to maintain an explicit degree of agreement throughout and ensure every example directly demonstrates why modern people face too many choices.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the issue and gives relevant examples, but its position becomes less consistent and some support is tangential.
State a precise degree of agreement and connect each body example directly to whether the quantity of choice is excessive.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is clearly paragraphed and generally progresses logically, although some transitions are mechanical and the final logic is inconsistent.
Arrange the body around distinct reasons for the position and make the conclusion follow directly from those reasons.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often effective, though several collocations and word choices sound unnatural or imprecise.
Replace awkward combinations such as globalization advancements and restaurant delicacies with more natural academic phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex sentences is generally well controlled, with occasional awkward constructions and parallelism problems.
Check long coordinated sentences for clear parallel structure, especially when listing different products, choices, or actions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.