Advances in health and biology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Any student that needs a Band 7 or higher can listen and memorize this three step system, today.
Biology is one of the most important areas of science due to its direct relationship to survival and health. Observing the rapid advances made, it has been suggested that it is presently the optimum time to be alive. I strongly agree with this affirmation for two reasons, firstly lives have been improved, and secondly risks have been reduced.
First, comparing life with a century ago it is possible to list new benefits available such as hospitals, doctors, medicines, diagnoses, donors, and transplants, all of which were extremely rare previously. Advances in the sciences have improved lives across society considerably.
For example, consider an operation in France several years ago whereby a woman received a complete face transplant. This would be unthinkable in 1910, therefore, due to science her life has undoubtedly improved.
Secondly, health risks have fallen incredibly, so much so that it is possible to visit tropical countries which previously carried considerable dangers. This is because traditionally preventative measures such as vaccinations, immunisation and prescription tablets did not exist.
In addition over the last thirty years their cost has fallen rendering exotic travel available to almost anyone with the funds. Therefore modern science has increased the opportunities and reduced the risks related to travel, there has been no parallel in history.
To conclude, I strongly agree that biology and improvements in science have increased people’s well being and their opportunities to explore the world. This is undoubtedly the first time in history such situations have existed.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use human relative pronoun Original: that Suggested revision: who Why it matters: Who is the more natural relative pronoun when the antecedent is a person.
- 2. Remove unnecessary comma Original: system, today Suggested revision: system today Why it matters: The comma incorrectly separates the adverb today from the clause it modifies.
- 3. Fix comma splice Original: 1910, therefore Suggested revision: 1910; therefore Why it matters: A semicolon correctly joins the two independent clauses before the conjunctive adverb.
- 4. Use precise adverb Original: incredibly Suggested revision: dramatically Why it matters: Dramatically describes a large reduction more naturally than incredibly.
- 5. Correct time reference Original: traditionally preventative measures Suggested revision: historically, preventive measures Why it matters: Historically accurately refers to the past period in which these measures did not exist.
- 6. Set off opening phrases Original: In addition over the last thirty years Suggested revision: In addition, over the last thirty years, Why it matters: Commas are needed after the linking phrase and the following time phrase.
- 7. Fix comma splice Original: travel, there Suggested revision: travel; there Why it matters: A semicolon is required because both sides are independent clauses.
- 8. Fix dangling modifier Original: Observing Suggested revision: Given Why it matters: The impersonal subject it cannot logically perform the action of observing.
- 9. Use natural phrasing Original: presently the optimum time Suggested revision: currently the best time Why it matters: Best time states the superlative claim more naturally and directly.
- 10. Use concise phrasing Original: Advances in the sciences Suggested revision: Scientific advances Why it matters: The adjective form expresses the same idea more concisely.
- 11. Close inserted phrase Original: due to science her life Suggested revision: due to science, her life Why it matters: A comma is needed after the inserted prepositional phrase.
- 12. Use precise collocation Original: countries which previously carried considerable dangers Suggested revision: countries that previously posed considerable risks Why it matters: Places pose risks rather than carry dangers in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- that who
- system, today system today
- 1910, therefore 1910; therefore
- incredibly dramatically
- traditionally preventative measures historically, preventive measures
- In addition over the last thirty years In addition, over the last thirty years,
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay’s strongest feature is a firm, consistently maintained position, supported by a relevant medical example and generally clear progression. Its main limitation is uneven relevance: the opening promotional sentence is extraneous, and the discussion of affordable travel only partly demonstrates that the present is the best time to be alive. Prioritize tighter task focus, then edit sentence boundaries and awkward phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear opinion and relevant health benefits, but one supporting strand becomes only partly focused on the central claim.
Remove the unrelated opening and connect every example explicitly to why life now is better overall.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a clear two-reason structure, though short example paragraphs and some mechanical connectors make the progression less smooth.
Integrate each example with its main idea and use more natural links between supporting sentences.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows good range and includes effective topic language, despite several awkward or overly formal combinations.
Choose more natural collocations and avoid inflated wording where a precise common expression would be clearer.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses varied sentence forms, but comma splices and awkward clause construction cause recurring lapses in control.
Separate independent clauses correctly and revise long sentences whose logical relationships are currently compressed.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Advances in health and biology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.