Some people think that government should spend money on health awareness while others argue it is better to spend build hospitals rather than health awareness. Discusses both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Investments in various health sectors by the government always cause controversyinvite controversies both in the developed and underdeveloped countries. The public is always keen about the authorities' health policieshealth policies of authorities. Some people hold the opinion that investing moneythe investing money for health awareness bearsbear better fruit, while others argue that the construction of good hospitalshospital brings greater benefitsbring more beneficial aspects to the public. This essay discusses both viewsboth the view and givesadds my own opinion. Some people believe that the money spent on health awareness brings about the prevention and control of several ailments. They point to the fact that the significant changes result frommassive changes come about by the appropriate health awareness programs. If citizens become well informed and proactive in health-related matters, we do not need to go the extra mile to prevent the outbreakbreak out of many communicable diseases and epidemicsepidemic in societies. MoreoverOver and above, many lifestyle diseases can be prevented easilyas easy as pie by proper health awareness to the public. Some others believe that spending moneythe spending money to build hospitals and health care centres pays greater dividendspay more dividend. They argue that the well equipped and facilitated hospitals are essential for treatinginevitable to treat many serious ailments such as cancer and cardiac problems. In addition, improvements of some genetic diseases such as Down syndrome and Haemophilia call for better hospital care. Apart from that, the accidents and trauma care are practicable only in good health institutional settings. In short, health awareness plays a pivotal role in good health policy. Many lifestyle diseases can be preventedpreventable by this attempt. In my opinion, well-equipped hospitals play the significant role in people's health. In the hustle and bustle lifestyle, the accidents and communication diseases are not uncommon. At this juncture, advanced treatment facilities are the necessary part of society. Health is wealth and investing the money on hospital constructions bears better fruit than any other form of investment in the health sector. It brings in an optimum level of health among the citizen.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly discusses both spending priorities and gives an unambiguous preference for hospitals, with relevant explanations for prevention and treatment. Its main limitation is reduced control of organisation and language: the single-block presentation obscures the argument's stages, while frequent agreement, article, and collocation errors weaken precision; the highest-priority improvement is to structure the discussion into purposeful paragraphs and edit sentences for grammatical accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed with relevant reasons and examples, and the preference for hospital investment is clearly stated and supported.
Strengthen the discussion by evaluating the relative limits of awareness campaigns and hospital provision rather than treating their benefits separately.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a discernible sequence and uses clear transitions, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph substantially weakens organisation.
Separate the introduction, each view, and the conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with one controlling idea in each.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of health-related vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and occasional informal wording reduce precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as facilitated hospitals and pay more dividend with natural, context-appropriate academic phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex forms communicates the main ideas, although frequent agreement, article, and noun-form errors weaken control.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and article use, then proofread each sentence for complete and correctly formed noun phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that government should spend money on health awareness while others argue it is better to spend build hospitals rather than health awareness. Discusses both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.