When students move to a new school, they sometimes face problems. How can schools help these students with their problems? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.
Sample Response
When a student moves to a new school, he or shenew school he or she can face some problems. I think that almost everyone has had to movealmost all people had to move from one place to another in their lives and I was no exceptionand I am not an exception. My family moved twice during my childhood. My father is an architect, so my familyso, my family had to move from one place to another when the previous construction project was completedthe old construction was over and my father was askedoffered to develop a new project. Two major problems I had to face in a new school were "no friends" and "a large number of new people""a huge amount of new people". In the following paragraphs, I will analyse these problems and make suggestions about how a school can help a student in this situation.
The first difficulty I had to face in a new school was a huge amount of new people such as teachers and classmates, who had no idea who I waswho have no idea who I am. It was easy with the teachers, I usually stayed after the class, introduced myself to him or her and asked about their curriculum. However, with my new classmates, it was a little more difficult. I had to stand up for myself a few times because this is the way students get to know each other. However, I believe that there is a better way to get to know each other. I think that schools should take part in this processparticipate in this process. For example, they can organise a welcome sessionsome kind of welcome class, in which new studentswhere new students will have the opportunity to meet their new classmates and introduce themselves.
The second problem I had to face in a new school was that I had no friends. I could not meet my old friends because they were too far away and I did not have a chance to make new friends. Nowadays, I think it is easier because almost every student has Internet accessan Internet access, so they can chatso, he can chat with his old friends. Unfortunately, I did not have such an opportunity when I was a student. I believe that schools can help newcomers by helping them to integrate more quickly into their new classesmerge faster with their new classes. For example, a school can attach someone to a newcomer and the first one will help a new student to accustom himself to a new environment.
In conclusion, I would like to add thatadd, that moving from one school to another brings not only problems but also many benefits. For example, I learned how to make new friends quicklyfast and how to overcome obstacles. I think that it made me stronger as a person and I am glad that I had this experience in my life.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is engaging and well focused in its body paragraphs, using personal experience to explain two genuine transition problems and propose practical welcome and peer-support measures. The main weakness is that the lengthy personal framing and concluding discussion of benefits divert attention from the requested school actions, while several imprecise expressions reduce polish. Keep every section centred on what schools should do and express each proposal more precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Two relevant problems are clearly explained and matched with practical school-based solutions, supported by specific personal examples.
Reduce autobiographical background and make the conclusion directly consolidate the recommended welcome and buddy measures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has clear paragraphing and logical problem-solution development, though some digressions and repeated transitions weaken overall focus.
Use a concise introduction and conclusion, and connect each problem immediately to its corresponding school action.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate vocabulary for describing adjustment and support, but noticeable imprecise or unnatural combinations limit flexibility.
Use countable forms and natural collocations, replacing phrases such as 'a huge amount of new people,' 'merge with classes,' and 'attach someone.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a range of simple and complex sentences, but article, pronoun, tense, agreement, and punctuation errors occur regularly.
Proofread for article use, consistent reference to students, and sentence boundaries, especially where independent clauses are joined by commas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
When students move to a new school, they sometimes face problems. How can schools help these students with their problems? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.