Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand? What measures could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?
Sample Response
It is undeniable that water scarcity is becoming a global problem, and its magnitude is so large that we need effective measures to tackle this issue. The rapid growth of the global population and their water demand as well as the contamination of groundwater, in my opinion, are the two main reasons for this alarming trend. However, water recycling and desalination could be two effective solutions to tackle this crisis.
As for the causes of the increased demand for nonsaline water, the pressure on freshwater by the exponentially increasing population can be attributed. An increasing population leads to higher water demand primarily in three sectors, namely - agriculture, industry and household. Firstly, from an agricultural perspective, irrigation needs a large amount of groundwater. As we need to feed more mouths, the water required to produce crops is getting higher and higher. Secondly, industries and factories use a huge amount of water in their production and manufacturing process. With a larger population comes a greater demand for industrial production. For instance, some research revealed that the meat processing industry could be the main cause of water shortage in some regions of the UK and the demand for such industries is on the rise due to their popular demand. Finally, more water is used in households due to the population rise. Furthermore, the agricultural sectors and different industries are polluting river bodies by dispersing chemical compounds directly into the water. It is making a stain on the already scarce resource. So, it comes down to one simple equation: more population equals more demand for fresh water.
One solution to this crisis could be water recycling for water conservation. Governments, all around the world, should build new water pipe systems and infrastructures for recycling water. They should also encourage people to use recycled water whenever applicable. Another outstanding solution could be the widescale implementation of "desalination", in which salt is removed from the seawater to enable people to use it. It is now used in many countries like the USA and has achieved its goal to a great extent. Despite being expensive, it is a practical and wonderful method to meet our drinking water demand.
In conclusion, freshwater scarcity is a global problem caused mainly by the rapid growth of population and contamination of water. However, we have some effective solutions that should be adopted globally to tackle this crisis.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix pronoun agreement Original: global population and their water demand Suggested revision: global population and its demand for water Why it matters: The collective noun 'population' takes the singular possessive pronoun here.
- 2. Use standard term Original: nonsaline water Suggested revision: fresh water Why it matters: 'Fresh water' is the standard term used throughout this response.
- 3. Remove incorrect dash Original: namely - agriculture Suggested revision: namely agriculture Why it matters: No dash is needed between 'namely' and the list it introduces.
- 4. Use parallel plural Original: industry and household Suggested revision: industry and households Why it matters: The final item should name the household sector with an appropriate plural noun.
- 5. Use formal verb Original: irrigation needs Suggested revision: irrigation requires Why it matters: 'Requires' is more precise for describing the amount of water used.
- 6. Avoid redundant wording Original: production and manufacturing process Suggested revision: production processes Why it matters: 'Production' and 'manufacturing' overlap, so one concise plural phrase is sufficient.
- 7. Use present perfect Original: some research revealed Suggested revision: some research has revealed Why it matters: The present perfect links the research finding to the current claim.
- 8. Clarify the demand Original: due to their popular demand Suggested revision: because demand for their products is rising Why it matters: The revision removes the illogical collocation and identifies what is in demand.
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: population rise Suggested revision: growth in the population Why it matters: 'Growth in the population' is a more natural formal collocation.
- 10. Use singular sector Original: the agricultural sectors Suggested revision: the agricultural sector Why it matters: Agriculture is being treated as one economic sector in this sentence.
- 11. Use correct term Original: river bodies Suggested revision: bodies of water Why it matters: 'Bodies of water' is the standard expression for rivers and similar resources.
- 12. Choose precise verb Original: by dispersing chemical compounds Suggested revision: by discharging chemicals Why it matters: 'Discharging' more precisely describes releasing pollutants into water.
Suggested Rewrites
- global population and their water demand global population and its demand for water
- nonsaline water fresh water
- namely - agriculture namely agriculture
- industry and household industry and households
- irrigation needs irrigation requires
- production and manufacturing process production processes
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a well-organised explanation of population-driven demand and develops two practical government-led solutions with relevant detail. However, it partly confuses causes of rising demand with causes of scarcity, and it gives individuals almost no direct measures despite the question explicitly requiring them. Add a distinct, developed set of realistic individual actions and keep every cause tied specifically to increased consumption.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response develops population growth and government solutions well, but contamination does not directly explain increased demand and individual measures are underdeveloped.
Add specific actions individuals can take and distinguish factors that raise water demand from factors that reduce the available supply.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and a logical progression from causes to solutions, with generally effective internal sequencing.
Separate population-driven demand from pollution-related scarcity more explicitly so the causal progression remains precise throughout.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary, though several choices and collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Replace strained expressions such as making a stain on the resource with direct, natural wording about contamination and depletion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of simple and complex structures is used, but errors in articles, agreement, countability, and sentence construction recur.
Review noun phrases and subject-verb relationships, particularly when referring to population, sectors, infrastructure, and demand.