Successful sport professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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Sample Response
It is true that top athletes can earn more than people who engage in other important careers. Some people suppose that athletes deserve such high income, while others see this pay gap as unfair. In my opinion, high earningsearning for top sport professionals are understandable, but the gap should not be excessive.
There are twoThere two key reasons why successful sportspeople cansuccessful sport person can earn such a substantial income. Firstly, reaching the topachieving to the top of any sportsports requires particular naturalnature aptitude as well as years of hard work and dedication, only a few peopleonly few people have the capacity and resilience to compete at the highest levelcompete at highest level. Secondly, athletesAnd then, athletes take high risks in training and competitionscontest, so they generallyso that their generally have a relatively short career. Injuries can end their careerscareer at any time, and most sportspeoplemost of sport person earn a great deal of moneygreat deal money in a limited professional careerin limited professional period. Therefore, their substantialgreat income can be seen as a reward for their talent, effort and the risks they take.
However, there are others considering that although outstanding athletes may have positive social impact, the extreme income gap is still unjust. There are many fields, such as basic scientific research, medicine and education, which are equally or even more important to society but normally lack considerable salaries to attract and retain talented people. If some athletes are offered disproportionatedisproportionately financial rewards, people in other essential professions may be discouraged by the mismatch between effort and reward. In the long term, it may cause some detrimental impact on social developmentinfluences in social development.
In conclusion, the high earnings of successful sport professionals are reasonable, but the significant income gap between sport and other vital fields should be narrowed through some government policies.
Why this response received Band 7.0
文章全面回应了讨论双方观点并给出清晰个人立场的任务要求,整体结构清晰,论据展开合理。主要短板在于语法细节上存在多处小错误(如主谓一致、介词误用和遗漏动词等),且部分衔接词略显口语化。最优先的改进方向是加强语法精准度,特别是单复数一致性与句型结构的规范表达。
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
任务回应
文章完整讨论了双方观点并提出了明确且具有辩证性的个人立场,主旨清晰且论据合理。
在论述对其他行业积极性影响时,可进一步深化例证以增强说服力。
连贯与衔接
段落划分合理,逻辑推进自然,观点之间的衔接整体通顺。
减少如 And then 这种口语化连接词的使用,换用更正式的书面过渡词。
词汇资源
词汇使用丰富且基本准确,成功使用了如 nature aptitude、detrimental 和 disproportionately 等高阶表达。
注意词性搭配与拼写规范,修正如 nature aptitude(应为 natural aptitude)等局部用词不当。
语法多样性与准确性
能够运用多种复合句型表达复杂意思,但文章中频繁出现语法错误,影响了语言表达的精准度。
重点检查主谓一致(如 high earning for top... are)、代词与动词多余(如 their generally have)等基础语法瑕疵。