Rapid technological change has shaped the world we live in today. Far from having a positive influence, living in the high-tech world dependent on computers and mobile devices has distracted us from what is really important in life. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
No one can deny that technologythe technology has become an integral part of our daily lives. Aside from all the beneficial applications in our livesall beneficial applications that we have living in, this fast moving world dependent on computers and mobile phones has distracted us from what is truly worthwhile in lifewhat is really worth in life. I completely agree with this statement because of concerns about both family life and healthbecause of both the family as well as health concerns. On the one hand, there is no doubt that new technologythe new technology offers new possibilities in all workplaces; for example, it increases productivity and also saves a great deal of timemuch of time, people now can work in real time, they do not have to wait to return to their offices to update records or to make a note, instead, they can directly accessinstead they directly access their emails and dodoing whatever they need even if they are at home. On the other hand, although many people agree thatmany people although they agree on that it makes our liveslife easier, it also complicates our relationships with our familiesrelationships with families and the general public. For instance, no one now is ready to spend time and money visiting relatives in their homesspend time and money to reach relatives in their homes, they are satisfied withthey just satisfied by texting themtexting them messages or calling themthe, this resultsresult in a big gap between young adultsadult and their parents and grandparents, this may be due to the fact that children spend most of their time online studying or enjoying social mediawebsites and older people find this a little boring so both have nothing to share. In this way, we can see clearly how technology affects our relationships adversely. Moreover, technology also has a detrimental effect on our health and fitness, best example would be the young children who now find activities too easy by playing sport on screens, what is more, it makes us forget useful skills for example, fewer people are able to do mental arithmetic than in the past so traditional skills are being undermined. A case in point is that manyA case in point is many of these skills are in danger of dying out completely. To conclude, technology is a great invention as long as we use it in a balanced way not allowing it to ruin our relationships or missing the true joy of life.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear position that excessive dependence on technology harms family relationships, health, and traditional skills, supported by a detailed family example. Its main limitation is control: the entire essay is one paragraph, several ideas are joined into very long run-on sentences, and the health point is only loosely explained. Prioritise paragraphing and complete, accurately punctuated sentences before adding further detail.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay maintains a clear position, acknowledges a benefit, and develops relevant concerns about relationships, health, and lost skills, though development is uneven.
Explain the health effect directly through reduced physical activity and connect it clearly to what is important in life.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a recognisable sequence, but the absence of paragraphing and frequent run-on sentences make progression difficult to follow in places.
Create separate paragraphs for the introduction, benefits, family relationships, health and skills, and conclusion, each with a clear topic sentence.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range for technology, work, relationships, and health, but frequent unnatural collocations reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as “save time,” “visit relatives,” “communicate by text,” “social media,” and “lose sight of what matters.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of clause types is attempted, but frequent comma splices, agreement errors, missing words, and faulty verb forms weaken accuracy and sometimes clarity.
Break long strings of clauses into complete sentences and check every verb for a clear subject, correct agreement, and consistent form.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Rapid technological change has shaped the world we live in today. Far from having a positive influence, living in the high-tech world dependent on computers and mobile devices has distracted us from what is really important in life. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.