Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today's world subjects like Science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
History has played a pivotal role in the forming of a life on the Earth that some communities believe this subject is situated on the first place in institutions, while others, who are on the side of a modern environment, think Science and Technology are the most essential things in the computer age. The merits of both arguments will be analyzed before a is decided upon. First and foremost, as one person pointed out:" There is no future without history." History as a subject can help people realize the past mistakes and never repeat them nowadays. For instance, the greatest World Wars are proof of the past terrible moments where an enormous number of people disappeared from the face of our planet. Therefore, to avoid the third World War people have started leading a peaceful and calm life. Moreover, history is the most important source of the foundations of all traditions and customs which are also main tourist destinations in today's world. Thus, the merits of these opinions are hard to support. On the other hand, we live in the 21st century where it is impossible to ignore a Cutting- Edge technology. Therefore, it is necessary to know how to deal with various Innovations to appropriate with a present atmosphere. For example, computers are used everywhere in the workplace now, so it is crucial for students to become competent in the use of such Technologies. Besides, Science is a popular sphere where so many jobs were created for its improvement. Hence, the heightened benefits of this view regarding the role of Science and Technology can clearly be seen. To summarize, both History and contemporary subjects such as Science and technology should not be neglected in schools. However, with the everyday developments of machines Innovations will replace everything in the future world.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Punctuate the quotation Original: pointed out:" Suggested revision: pointed out, " Why it matters: A comma should introduce this direct quotation rather than a colon attached to the quotation mark.
- 2. Use natural verb phrase Original: realize the past mistakes Suggested revision: recognize past mistakes Why it matters: Recognize mistakes is the natural collocation for becoming aware of past errors.
- 3. Repair time expression Original: never repeat them nowadays Suggested revision: avoid repeating them Why it matters: Nowadays conflicts with the future-oriented idea of preventing the same mistakes.
- 4. Name the wars precisely Original: greatest World Wars Suggested revision: two world wars Why it matters: Greatest is not an appropriate descriptor for the two world wars being referenced.
- 5. Use precise historical noun Original: past terrible moments Suggested revision: terrible events in history Why it matters: Events accurately describes major historical occurrences, whereas moments is too vague.
- 6. Correct relative clause Original: where an enormous number of people disappeared Suggested revision: during which an enormous number of people died Why it matters: During which correctly links the deaths to historical events, and died conveys the intended meaning precisely.
- 7. Use indefinite article Original: the third World War Suggested revision: a third world war Why it matters: A is required because the sentence refers to a possible future war rather than an established event.
- 8. Remove stacked nouns Original: the most important source of the foundations of Suggested revision: the foundation of Why it matters: The original phrase redundantly combines source and foundations.
- 9. Distinguish place and attraction Original: main tourist destinations Suggested revision: major tourist attractions Why it matters: Traditions and customs can be attractions, but they are not physical destinations.
- 10. Use lowercase common noun Original: Innovations Suggested revision: innovations Why it matters: Innovations is a common noun here and should not be capitalized.
- 11. Repair the expression Original: to appropriate with a present atmosphere Suggested revision: to adapt to the present environment Why it matters: Adapt to is the correct verb and preposition for adjusting to current conditions.
- 12. Use lowercase common noun Original: Technologies Suggested revision: technologies Why it matters: Technologies is a common noun in this sentence and should be lowercase.
Suggested Rewrites
- pointed out:" pointed out, "
- realize the past mistakes recognize past mistakes
- never repeat them nowadays avoid repeating them
- greatest World Wars two world wars
- past terrible moments terrible events in history
- where an enormous number of people disappeared during which an enormous number of people died
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response covers both curriculum viewpoints and offers relevant examples, particularly the practical value of computer skills. However, its position is unclear at the end, some reasoning is contradictory, and frequent awkward phrasing reduces precision. The highest priority is to state a consistent opinion and build each body paragraph around one clearly explained claim, then revise inaccurate vocabulary and incomplete sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views receive attention, but development is uneven and the final opinion shifts from valuing both areas to an unclear prediction about innovation replacing everything.
State one consistent preference and ensure every example clearly explains why the relevant subject deserves priority in schools.
Coherence and Cohesion
Basic sequencing and signposts separate the two perspectives, but the single-block presentation and some contradictory links weaken overall progression.
Use distinct introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, with each paragraph following a clear claim, explanation, and example sequence.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations, word forms, articles, and unnecessary capitalisation make several ideas awkward.
Prefer familiar, accurate expressions and check collocations such as learn from past mistakes, adapt to the modern world, and scientific fields.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex sentences are attempted, but frequent errors in articles, clause formation, punctuation, and sentence structure reduce grammatical control.
Build complete sentences around clear subjects and verbs, then check articles and punctuation before adding more complex clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today's world subjects like Science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.