Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Learning from home has been recognised as the best way to develop offspring’s, while some critics suggest that going to school is far more beneficial for children. This essay will discuss the benefits of both methods, and provide statistics revealed by Oxford University recommends studying at the institutes is better-off for students when compared to studying from home. To begin with, there is a myriad of merits of taking classes from home. Firstly, pupils staying in their comfort zone will give more freedom to express their opinions. In schools, students are restricted to talk while the class is ongoing, and young ones are reluctant to say a word; however, at home, they feel very confident to speak. Besides, they save much time travelling to school. At times, going to school can be excruciating to young minds, and they get exhausted before starting their day. This can put their mind off from learning new subjects. So, this travelling time can be spent wisely to learn extra-curricular activities such as sports or learning a musical instrument when they are at home. Nevertheless, this essay thinks that studying at schools will outweigh the benefits of learning from home because of its noticeable benefits. Students tend to learn not only academic subjects but also social and cognitive skills at schools. It is only at the institutes where they can intermingle with other peers, and learn skills such as teamwork, group study, and sharing ideas. These skills are essential to the child’s growth. For example, as per the recent survey by Oxford University revealed that teenagers who studied at schools tend to be more innovative and intellectually competent than the students who studied online. Furthermore, there are a lot of other activities such as sports competitions, and cultural events are conducted at schools, these events can bring out the talents hidden in them. In, despite the pros of learning from home, this essay believes that studying at schools contributes majorly to their growth.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove possessive ending Original: offspring’s Suggested revision: offspring Why it matters: The plural noun is not possessive here, so it should not take an apostrophe.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: a myriad of merits of Suggested revision: many benefits to Why it matters: This phrase is unnecessarily ornate and uses an awkward preposition.
- 3. Fix sentence subject Original: pupils staying in their comfort zone will give Suggested revision: staying in their comfort zone gives pupils Why it matters: The original structure incorrectly makes the pupils give freedom to themselves.
- 4. Correct verb pattern Original: restricted to talk Suggested revision: not allowed to talk Why it matters: The verb pattern with restricted requires from plus a gerund, so this alternative is clearer.
- 5. Use precise noun Original: young ones Suggested revision: children Why it matters: Children is more precise and appropriate in an academic essay.
- 6. Correct adjective pattern Original: confident to speak Suggested revision: confident about speaking Why it matters: Confident is naturally followed by about plus a gerund in this context.
- 7. Clarify time saving Original: save much time travelling Suggested revision: save a great deal of time by not travelling Why it matters: The revision states clearly how home learning saves time.
- 8. Choose suitable wording Original: excruciating to young minds Suggested revision: exhausting for young children Why it matters: Excruciating and minds are unnatural choices for describing the effect of a journey.
- 9. Match plural reference Original: mind Suggested revision: minds Why it matters: The plural pronoun their refers to multiple children, so the noun should also be plural.
- 10. Use formal connector Original: So Suggested revision: Therefore Why it matters: Therefore expresses the result more formally and precisely.
- 11. Correct activity collocation Original: spent wisely to learn extra-curricular activities Suggested revision: used productively for extracurricular activities Why it matters: People take part in activities rather than learn activities.
- 12. Restore parallel structure Original: or learning a musical instrument Suggested revision: or music lessons Why it matters: A noun phrase is needed to remain parallel with sports after such as.
Suggested Rewrites
- offspring’s offspring
- a myriad of merits of many benefits to
- pupils staying in their comfort zone will give staying in their comfort zone gives pupils
- restricted to talk not allowed to talk
- young ones children
- confident to speak confident about speaking
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear preference for school education, supported by relevant discussion of social skills, activities, confidence, and travel time. Its main limitation is uneven language control, with frequent awkward collocations and grammatical slips that reduce precision despite generally clear meaning. Prioritise accurate sentence construction and natural word choice while developing each advantage with more specific, credible explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both approaches are discussed and the preference for school education is clear, with relevant reasons and examples that are generally developed.
Deepen the comparison by explaining more precisely how each claimed benefit affects a child’s development and by using credible support.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through the two approaches, and cohesive devices usually make the argument easy to follow.
Use transitions more selectively and ensure each paragraph develops one central comparison without repetitive signposting.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably varied vocabulary, but several unnatural or inaccurate word choices weaken precision.
Replace awkward expressions such as references to institutions, offspring, and major contribution with natural, context-appropriate collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, although errors in agreement, articles, and clause construction recur.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause structure, subject-verb agreement, and accurate article and preposition use.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.