Homeschooling is better than school. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In general, most of the children study in public or private school, which is the formal way we gain knowledge from. However, some other people assert that homeschooling has more benefits. Although there are discussions on both sides, I strongly disagree that homeschooling is better. To begin with, the reasons why people prefer homeschooling consider several benefits. First, the time schedule is more flexible than school. Parents can arrange the time of learning courses freely without the fixed routine. Second, it depends on the children’s interests of what they are passionate to study so they can be more concentrated in the subjects. Third, children do not need to worry about the stress of competition with other students. They can follow and adjust their personal progress to study, thus it is more effective for learning. Despite I agree with some points above, the drawbacks of home learning far outweigh its advantages. Firstly, children are not likely to learn the general knowledge at home if they only focus on certain subjects. Their understanding and knowledge on various fields will be limited. Second, the lack of competition between the peer students will weaken the children’s ability of competitiveness. The less stress of competing with others, the less motivation of improvement and pursuit of better result. As a consequence, the capacity of pressure handling is lower considerably, especially adapting in the working environment in the future. Lastly, children barely have chance to develop the social skills undoubtedly due to the less interaction with the fellow children. They will become more verted. The potential ability of leadership, communication and problem solving skills are diminished. To conclude, I am not in favor of homeschooling. It limits the children’s whole personal development and a slower learning progress. Studying in formal school is more beneficial in terms of the physical and mental purposes.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise wording Original: some other people Suggested revision: others Why it matters: “Others” expresses the same contrast more concisely.
- 2. Remove redundancy Original: the time schedule Suggested revision: the schedule Why it matters: “Time schedule” is redundant because a schedule already concerns time.
- 3. Fix the comparison Original: more flexible than school Suggested revision: more flexible than a school timetable Why it matters: A schedule should be compared with another schedule rather than with a school.
- 4. Use natural wording Original: the time of learning courses Suggested revision: lesson times Why it matters: “Lesson times” is the natural phrase for when courses are studied.
- 5. Fix the article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The indefinite article is required because no specific routine has been identified.
- 6. Clarify the expression Original: follow and adjust their personal progress to study Suggested revision: study at their own pace Why it matters: The original collocation is unnatural, while the replacement states the intended meaning clearly.
- 7. Fix the conjunction Original: Despite Suggested revision: Although Why it matters: “Despite” cannot directly introduce a finite clause in this structure.
- 8. Remove the article Original: the general knowledge Suggested revision: general knowledge Why it matters: “General knowledge” is used without “the” when referring to knowledge broadly.
- 9. Fix the collocation Original: on Suggested revision: of Why it matters: “Knowledge of” is the appropriate collocation here.
- 10. Use natural noun Original: the peer students Suggested revision: their peers Why it matters: “Their peers” is the natural expression for other students of a similar age.
- 11. Use the correct noun Original: ability of competitiveness Suggested revision: competitiveness Why it matters: The abstract noun already expresses the ability described here.
- 12. Fix the collocation Original: capacity of pressure handling Suggested revision: ability to handle pressure Why it matters: The replacement is the standard English expression for this capacity.
Suggested Rewrites
- some other people others
- the time schedule the schedule
- more flexible than school more flexible than a school timetable
- the time of learning courses lesson times
- the a
- follow and adjust their personal progress to study study at their own pace
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear disagreement with the proposition and its sustained attempt to justify that view through educational, competitive, and social considerations. Its main limitation is frequent awkward phrasing and grammatical inaccuracy, compounded by presenting the entire argument as one paragraph; the highest-priority improvement is to organise the ideas into focused paragraphs and express each causal claim in precise, natural sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained, and several relevant advantages and disadvantages are discussed, though some claims remain generalized or only partly explained.
Develop fewer central reasons more fully by explaining their consequences and supporting them with specific, plausible examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognizable sequence, but mechanical listing and the absence of paragraph breaks weaken the clarity of progression.
Separate the introduction, opposing view, main argument, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with clearer links between related ideas.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic and includes some less common terms, but recurrent collocation and word-form problems make expression awkward.
Build control of natural academic collocations, especially for competition, motivation, social interaction, and personal development.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence forms, but frequent errors with clauses, articles, prepositions, agreement, and comparison reduce accuracy.
Prioritize accurate complex-sentence patterns and proofread each sentence for a complete clause structure, correct agreement, and necessary articles.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Homeschooling is better than school. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.