Some human activities have negative effects on plant and animal species. Some people think it is too late to do anything about this problem while others think effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Considerable impacts on the environment made by human activities have been a heated debate. Some individuals are of the opinion that tackling those environmental issues is impossible. However, another school of thought opines that changes can be made to reverse the current situation. Personally, I suppose that only if urgent actions are taken, those aforementioned problems will soon be solved.
Those who advocate the lateness in improving environmental problems may point to the extinction of animals and the exceeding rate of global warming. Chief among these is that human activities, such as hunting and poaching, are the major culprit in the vanishment of a myriad of fauna and flora species. Accordingly, the ultimate adverse consequence is the imbalance in our ecosystem, which creates obstruction in the food chain. However, no feasible approach can be applied to rebirth those species. The second idea is that the substantial increase in industrial production combined with excessive deforestation has contributed to the alarming situation of global warming. And it is a bitter truth that efforts made to decrease the world average temperature once it rises will eventually become fruitless.
Nevertheless, I still argue that fostering awareness among citizens and global cooperation will be effective measures in addressing the issue. Regarding the former, thanks to being fully aware of the detrimental impacts on the environment, a myriad of workshops or propaganda are organized to educate and encourage an environmentally-friendly living style. For example, using canvas bags instead of plastic ones in shopping has become a trend among youngsters nowadays. Another point worth mentioning is that various international law in protecting the environment has been established on the foundation of international agreement. For instance, governments have made attempt to eradicate destructive habits and save the lives of endangered species by raising funds to protect their natural habitats.
In conclusion, although human activities pose great risks to the environment, including the vanishment of species and the warning rate of global warming, I believe that certain methods, namely the raising of individuals’ awareness and the enhancement of cross-border corporations, can be applicable in addressing the problem.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the viewpoint Original: advocate the lateness in improving environmental problems Suggested revision: believe it is too late to address environmental problems Why it matters: The original phrase is not idiomatic and obscures the viewpoint being introduced.
- 2. Correct rate adjective Original: exceeding Suggested revision: increasing Why it matters: Increasing accurately describes a rate that is becoming higher.
- 3. Match plural subject Original: culprit Suggested revision: culprits Why it matters: The plural subject human activities requires the plural complement culprits.
- 4. Use standard noun Original: vanishment Suggested revision: disappearance Why it matters: Disappearance is the standard noun for species ceasing to exist.
- 5. Use precise verb Original: creates obstruction in the food chain Suggested revision: disrupts the food chain Why it matters: Disrupt directly expresses the effect on the food chain.
- 6. Correct verb choice Original: rebirth those species Suggested revision: bring those species back Why it matters: Rebirth is not used as a transitive verb in this context.
- 7. Describe the trend Original: situation Suggested revision: pace Why it matters: Pace more precisely describes the progression of global warming.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: decrease the world average temperature Suggested revision: reduce the global average temperature Why it matters: Reduce and global average temperature form the conventional academic expression.
- 9. Fix number and form Original: various international law in protecting the environment Suggested revision: various international laws protecting the environment Why it matters: Various requires a plural noun, and the participle protecting correctly modifies laws.
- 10. Fix subject agreement Original: has Suggested revision: have Why it matters: The plural subject laws requires the plural auxiliary have.
- 11. Use concise phrase Original: on the foundation of international agreement Suggested revision: through international agreements Why it matters: The revision expresses the means directly and uses a general plural noun.
- 12. Add plural ending Original: attempt Suggested revision: attempts Why it matters: The countable noun attempt needs a determiner or a plural form here.
Suggested Rewrites
- advocate the lateness in improving environmental problems believe it is too late to address environmental problems
- exceeding increasing
- culprit culprits
- vanishment disappearance
- creates obstruction in the food chain disrupts the food chain
- rebirth those species bring those species back
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay covers both perspectives, states a clear opinion, and organises its reasoning into distinct, well-developed sections. Its main limitation is recurrent imprecision in vocabulary and grammar, which occasionally produces awkward or misleading claims despite the generally clear message. The most valuable improvement would be to favour accurate, natural phrasing and verify agreement and word choice when presenting environmental causes and solutions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed and the writer's opinion is sustained, with relevant causes and measures, though some claims are overstated or only partly substantiated.
Make the evidence more measured and explain more directly how awareness and international action would protect affected plant and animal species.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through the opposing view and the writer's preferred solutions, supported by clear paragraphing and cohesive links.
Reduce formulaic signposting and strengthen references between examples and the precise claim each one is intended to support.
Lexical Resource
There is a wide range of topic vocabulary, but frequent awkward or inaccurate choices such as vanishment and cross-border corporations weaken precision.
Prioritise natural collocations such as species extinction, alarming rate, international cooperation, and environmental campaigns over unnecessarily elaborate wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are varied and meaning remains clear, although agreement, article, and sentence-construction errors occur repeatedly.
Check subject-verb agreement and noun phrase structure carefully, particularly in sentences with plural subjects and long modifying clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some human activities have negative effects on plant and animal species. Some people think it is too late to do anything about this problem while others think effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.