As people live longer and longer, the idea of cloning human beings in order to provide spare parts is becoming a reality. The idea horrifies most people, yet it is no longer mere science fiction. To what extent do you agree with such a procedure? Have you any reservations?
Sample Response
The cloning of animals has been occurring for a number of years now, and this has now opened up the possibility of cloning humans too. Although there are clear benefits to humankind of cloning to provide spare body parts, I believe it raises a number of worrying ethical issues.
Due to breakthroughs in medical science and improved diets, people are living much longer than in the past. This, though, has brought with it problems. As people age, their organs can fail so they need replacing. If humans were cloned, their organs could then be used to replace those of sick people. It is currently the case that there are often not enough organ donors around to fulfil this need, so cloning humans would overcome the issue as there would then be a ready supply.
However, for good reasons, many people view this as a worrying development. Firstly, there are religious arguments against it. It would involve creating other human beings and then eventually killing them in order to use their organs, which it could be argued is murder. This is obviously a sin according to religious texts. Also, dilemmas would arise over what rights these people have, as surely they would be humans just like the rest of us. Furthermore, if we have the ability to clone humans, it has to be questioned where this cloning will end. Is it then acceptable for people to start cloning relatives or family members who have died?
To conclude, I do not agree with this procedure due to the ethical issues and dilemmas it would create. Cloning animals has been a positive development, but this is where it should end.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise verb Original: occurring Suggested revision: practised Why it matters: The replacement describes cloning as a deliberate scientific practice more precisely.
- 2. Correct preposition Original: of Suggested revision: from Why it matters: Benefits are received from an activity, so the preposition should be ‘from’.
- 3. Clarify intended use Original: to provide spare body parts Suggested revision: as a source of replacement body parts Why it matters: This wording expresses the proposed function of cloning more precisely.
- 4. Add clause comma Original: organs can fail so Suggested revision: organs can fail, so Why it matters: A comma should precede ‘so’ when it links these independent clauses.
- 5. Use formal wording Original: organ donors around Suggested revision: available organ donors Why it matters: ‘Available’ conveys the shortage more formally and directly than ‘around’.
- 6. Improve collocation Original: fulfil Suggested revision: meet Why it matters: ‘Meet a need’ is the more natural collocation in this context.
- 7. Name the problem Original: overcome the issue Suggested revision: address this shortage Why it matters: The revision identifies the previously stated donor shortage instead of using a vague noun.
- 8. Specify the supply Original: then be a ready supply Suggested revision: be a ready supply of organs Why it matters: The supply needs an explicit object to make the meaning complete.
- 9. Fix clause structure Original: which it could be argued is murder Suggested revision: an act that could be regarded as murder Why it matters: The original relative clause has an unclear grammatical link to the preceding action.
- 10. Clarify rights question Original: what rights these people have Suggested revision: the rights these people should have Why it matters: The revision makes clear that the dilemma concerns what rights ought to be granted.
- 11. Remove redundancy Original: relatives or family members Suggested revision: relatives Why it matters: ‘Relatives’ already includes family members, so both terms are unnecessary.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: This, though, has brought with it problems. Suggested revision: This increased longevity, however, has also created problems. Why it matters: Naming the referent directly creates a clearer link to the preceding sentence.
Suggested Rewrites
- occurring practised
- of from
- to provide spare body parts as a source of replacement body parts
- organs can fail so organs can fail, so
- organ donors around available organ donors
- fulfil meet
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear position and develops a logically organised case, with the ethical reservations providing its strongest and most persuasive material. Some supporting claims, particularly the religious objection and the assumed practical benefit of cloning, remain rather general. The highest-priority improvement is to deepen one or two arguments with more precise explanation of their implications instead of moving quickly across several concerns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers both questions, maintains a clear position, and develops relevant benefits and ethical reservations.
Develop the practical and ethical reasoning more precisely so that key claims are fully substantiated rather than asserted.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear paragraph structure, and cohesive devices are used naturally without distracting repetition.
Strengthen the internal sequencing of the ethical paragraph by grouping closely related objections before introducing the slippery-slope concern.
Lexical Resource
A broad and generally precise vocabulary communicates medical and ethical ideas effectively, with only minor repetition and occasional imprecision.
Use more exact terms for the status and treatment of cloned people to sharpen the ethical analysis.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few awkward constructions do not impede communication.
Refine pronoun reference in long sentences, especially constructions such as the clause explaining why killing clones could constitute murder.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
As people live longer and longer, the idea of cloning human beings in order to provide spare parts is becoming a reality. The idea horrifies most people, yet it is no longer mere science fiction. To what extent do you agree with such a procedure? Have you any reservations?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.