Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The impact of human activity on flora and fauna is a contentious issue, with varying opinions on whether the negative consequences can be reversed. This essay will explore both views. Personally, I believe that while significant challenges do exist, concerted efforts and actions can indeed lead to positive changes that would mitigate the harmful effects of human activity on plants and animals.
On the one hand, some individuals argue that the damage caused by human activities is irreversible due to the scale of destruction already inflicted upon ecosystems. They contend that factors such as deforestation, habitat loss, and pollution have led to the extinction of numerous plant and animal species, making it unrealistic to restore these ecosystems to their original state. For instance, the loss of biodiversity caused by human encroachment into natural habitats has disrupted delicate ecological balances, leading to cascading effects that are difficult to reverse.
On the other hand, many others suggest that actions can still be taken to bring about positive changes. They argue that conservation efforts, reforestation projects, and strict environmental regulations can help restore damaged ecosystems and protect endangered species. For example, successful initiatives like the reintroduction of certain species into their natural habitats and the establishment of protected areas have demonstrated the potential for recovery and revitalization of ecosystems.
In my opinion, although the challenges are immense, the current state of the environment necessitates immediate and sustained efforts to mitigate the negative impacts of human activity on the natural environment. By adopting sustainable practices, embracing renewable energy sources, and supporting conservation initiatives, society can work towards restoring ecosystems and preserving biodiversity.
In conclusion, despite the irreversible damage that has already occurred, I believe that concerted efforts to restore ecosystems and protect biodiversity can bring about positive changes that safeguard the planet's natural resources for future generations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use measured wording Original: a contentious issue Suggested revision: a widely debated issue Why it matters: 'Widely debated' conveys disagreement without implying that the topic itself provokes conflict.
- 2. Use precise phrasing Original: varying opinions Suggested revision: differing views Why it matters: This wording more directly expresses the two contrasting positions in the prompt.
- 3. Remove redundancy Original: concerted efforts and actions Suggested revision: concerted action Why it matters: 'Efforts' and 'actions' overlap, so the singular phrase is more concise.
- 4. Remove excess emphasis Original: can indeed lead Suggested revision: can lead Why it matters: 'Indeed' adds emphasis that is unnecessary because the writer's position is already explicit.
- 5. Refine the collocation Original: scale of destruction already inflicted upon ecosystems Suggested revision: extent of the destruction already inflicted on ecosystems Why it matters: 'Extent of the destruction' is more natural and precise in this context.
- 6. Clarify the reference Original: making it unrealistic to restore these ecosystems to their original state Suggested revision: making full restoration of these ecosystems to their original state unrealistic Why it matters: The revision removes the vague pronoun 'it' and names the outcome directly.
- 7. Remove redundancy Original: many others suggest Suggested revision: others suggest Why it matters: 'Others' already indicates a separate group, so 'many' is unnecessary here.
- 8. Use specific wording Original: taken to bring about positive changes Suggested revision: taken to improve the situation Why it matters: The revision avoids the vague and repeated phrase 'positive changes' while preserving the claim.
- 9. Use formal exemplification Original: initiatives like the reintroduction Suggested revision: initiatives such as the reintroduction Why it matters: 'Such as' is more precise for introducing the examples in formal writing.
- 10. Avoid overlapping nouns Original: recovery and revitalization of ecosystems Suggested revision: ecosystem recovery Why it matters: 'Recovery' and 'revitalization' convey nearly the same idea here.
- 11. Reduce repetition Original: negative impacts of human activity on the natural environment Suggested revision: harmful effects of human activity on nature Why it matters: The revision avoids repeating 'environment' in the same sentence.
- 12. Use concise structure Original: work towards restoring Suggested revision: work to restore Why it matters: The infinitive expresses the intended purpose more directly.
Suggested Rewrites
- a contentious issue a widely debated issue
- varying opinions differing views
- concerted efforts and actions concerted action
- can indeed lead can lead
- scale of destruction already inflicted upon ecosystems extent of the destruction already inflicted on ecosystems
- making it unrealistic to restore these ecosystems to their original state making full restoration of these ecosystems to their original state unrealistic
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response fully addresses both views and gives a consistent personal position, with clear progression and strong control of complex language. Its main limitation is that several examples remain general rather than identifying concrete evidence, which makes the development somewhat less incisive than it could be. The highest-priority improvement is to replace broad references to successful initiatives with one specific, explained case demonstrating ecological recovery.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are explored fairly, the writer's opinion is clear throughout, and the main ideas are relevant and well developed.
Support the case for reversibility with a specific named conservation success and explain exactly what recovered as a result.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear discussion structure, with focused paragraphs and cohesive links that make the argument easy to follow.
Create a slightly stronger transition into the personal-opinion paragraph by explicitly synthesizing why the second view outweighs the first.
Lexical Resource
A wide, precise range of environmental vocabulary is used naturally, although a few key terms are repeated across paragraphs.
Vary repeated references to ecosystems, restoration, and positive changes while preserving the essay's technical precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex sentences is used accurately and flexibly, with errors rare and meaning consistently clear.
For further refinement, vary some long multi-clause sentences with shorter emphatic statements to sharpen key judgments.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.