Despite the increased access to education, a significant number of people cannot read or write. What are the disadvantages? What action should the government take?
Sample Response
Despite the growing accessibility to education, illiteracy remains a significant issue in a number of places. There are severe implications of this situation, and actions ought to be taken by governments to address this problem.
The inability to read or write has profound disadvantages on both individuals and society. Illiterate individuals, first and foremost, often face limited employment opportunities, as most jobs require basic comprehension and production of texts. This burden will prevent people from working anything other than the most menial of jobs; as a result, it perpetuates poverty and hinders social mobility. The inability to read and write, furthermore, impedes access to information, which is crucial for civic participation. People who cannot read are less likely to understand their rights, whereas those unable to write may fail to access public services without assistance, or worse still, they might be duped by malicious parties into breaking the law. Illiteracy, therefore, is a factor that disenfranchises people in society.
Effective strategies can be implemented to mitigate this situation, however. Initially, early childhood education is essential in ensuring that one’s ability to read is prioritized from a young age. An appropriate policy, for instance, is universalization of primary education to provide individuals with a basic grasp of language. Besides the aforementioned approach, which aims to reduce future illiteracy rates, the government should promote learning programs for adults who missed out on formal schooling. With adequate resources and training for instructors, this intervention may produce the desired effect in reducing disenfranchisement caused by illiteracy. These programs, at the same time, should be accessible and tailored to mature students as well, by utilizing flexible schedules and practical incentives.
In conclusion, illiteracy poses considerable challenges to those affected by limiting their opportunities and participation in society, but early childhood education and adult literacy programs are governmental policies that could redress the situation. Such measures will help create a fairer and more informed society that is capable of thriving in the modern era.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct noun collocation Original: accessibility Suggested revision: access Why it matters: Access to education is the standard collocation for educational availability.
- 2. Use precise consequence term Original: implications Suggested revision: consequences Why it matters: Consequences more directly describes the negative effects discussed in the essay.
- 3. Correct preposition Original: on Suggested revision: for Why it matters: Disadvantages takes for when identifying the people affected.
- 4. Use natural expression Original: production of texts Suggested revision: written communication Why it matters: Written communication expresses the required workplace skill more naturally.
- 5. Correct verb complement Original: working Suggested revision: doing Why it matters: Work cannot directly take anything as its object in this construction.
- 6. Position transition naturally Original: The inability to read and write, furthermore, Suggested revision: Furthermore, the inability to read and write Why it matters: Placing the transition first makes the connection to the preceding point smoother.
- 7. Use established policy term Original: universalization of primary education Suggested revision: universal primary education Why it matters: Universal primary education is the conventional and more concise term for this policy.
- 8. Use concise verb phrase Original: produce the desired effect in reducing Suggested revision: help reduce Why it matters: The concise phrase states the expected effect without unnecessary abstraction.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: This burden will prevent people from working anything other than the most menial of jobs; as a result, it perpetuates poverty and hinders social mobility. Suggested revision: This limitation can confine people to the most menial jobs; as a result, illiteracy perpetuates poverty and hinders social mobility. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the verb pattern and gives each reference a clear antecedent.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Effective strategies can be implemented to mitigate this situation, however. Suggested revision: However, effective strategies can be implemented to mitigate this situation. Why it matters: Moving the contrast marker to the opening position creates a clearer paragraph transition.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: These programs, at the same time, should be accessible and tailored to mature students as well, by utilizing flexible schedules and practical incentives. Suggested revision: These programs should also be accessible and tailored to adult learners through flexible schedules and practical incentives. Why it matters: The rewrite removes redundant connectors and fixes the dangling modifier introduced by by utilizing.
Suggested Rewrites
- accessibility access
- implications consequences
- on for
- production of texts written communication
- working doing
- The inability to read and write, furthermore, Furthermore, the inability to read and write
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response fully addresses both questions through a well-developed account of economic and civic disadvantages and a practical combination of preventive and remedial policies. Its strongest feature is the clear progression from consequences to solutions, supported by precise, flexible language. The main limitation is a small number of awkward collocations and connector placements; refining these local choices would make an already strong argument more natural and exact.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the disadvantages of illiteracy and appropriate government actions are fully addressed with relevant, well-extended reasoning.
Strengthen the policy discussion further by briefly explaining how governments could fund or deliver the proposed adult programs at scale.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader effectively with only occasional conspicuous placement.
Place contrast markers more naturally and remove redundant combinations such as 'at the same time' with 'as well'.
Lexical Resource
A broad and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion of employment, civic participation, education, and social exclusion.
Polish the few awkward collocations, such as 'disadvantages on' and 'working anything other than', to achieve consistently natural phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are varied and well controlled, with only a few minor preposition or modification issues.
Check verb-preposition patterns and modifier attachment in longer sentences to eliminate the remaining local inaccuracies.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Despite the increased access to education, a significant number of people cannot read or write. What are the disadvantages? What action should the government take?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.