In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Sample Response
In today’s modern world, to accomplish the basic necessity of having a shelter, a common man prefers the possession of a house instead of a tenancy. Although the prices of houses are skyrocketing, the ownership of a home, in my opinion, provides a sense of financial stability and security to an individual in some nations and thus certainly is a positive trend.
To commence with, there are many reasons why people usually have a keen inclination towards owning an apartment or a house. Primarily, as compared to certain terms and conditions in rented accommodation people enjoy living freely in their own homes. For instance, abiding by the stringent rules of the landlords as well as facing difficulties from shifting one occupancy to another which incur heavy losses to the household articles. In contrast, if a person resides in his private property, he can enjoy his freedom at the utmost level. Moreover, investing the finance in a residential space makes a person feel more secure for his future as well as his family. As a result, every person puts his efforts to the extreme to save the maximum from his income to purchase his dream house and get out from the cumbersome life of being a tenant.
According to my perspective, this is indeed an advantageous situation because of numerous causative factors. Predominantly, while having the possession of a domestic property offers a person to grow personally and professionally. This not only strengthens a great family bond amidst the family members but also feels satisfied with investing appropriately in his house and can work more productively with a stress-free mind. Additionally, the liability of frequent payments for the rent also drops significantly. According to a recent survey conducted by the Ministry of Human Resource Development (MHRD), USA, in June 2019, revealed a report about the significant rise in the prices of apartments in many countries has urged many people to buy their own apartments.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that while considering the possession of a house, the factors of stability and safety are indispensable; it is undeniable that it is indeed a beneficial trend.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: to accomplish the basic necessity Suggested revision: to meet the basic need Why it matters: People 'meet a need' rather than 'accomplish a necessity.'
- 2. Use neutral expression Original: a common man Suggested revision: the average person Why it matters: 'The average person' is a clearer and more inclusive expression for people generally.
- 3. Use gerund structure Original: prefers the possession of a house Suggested revision: prefers owning a house Why it matters: After 'prefer,' the gerund form states the chosen housing arrangement naturally.
- 4. Name the alternative clearly Original: instead of a tenancy Suggested revision: rather than renting Why it matters: 'Renting' describes the action being contrasted with owning a home more precisely.
- 5. Use concise wording Original: keen inclination towards Suggested revision: strong preference for Why it matters: 'Strong preference for' is the natural and concise collocation in this context.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: resides in his private property Suggested revision: lives in their own property Why it matters: This wording expresses residence in an owned home naturally and keeps the generic pronoun consistent.
- 7. Correct degree expression Original: at the utmost level Suggested revision: to the fullest extent Why it matters: Freedom is enjoyed 'to the fullest extent,' not 'at the utmost level.'
- 8. Use correct collocation Original: investing the finance Suggested revision: investing money Why it matters: 'Invest money' is the standard collocation, whereas 'the finance' is unnatural here.
- 9. Clarify parallel possession Original: more secure for his future as well as his family Suggested revision: more secure about their own future and their family’s future Why it matters: The revision makes both objects of security explicit and maintains a consistent generic pronoun.
- 10. Use standard effort phrase Original: puts his efforts to the extreme Suggested revision: makes every effort Why it matters: 'Make every effort' is the standard expression for trying as hard as possible.
- 11. Correct quantity structure Original: save the maximum from his income Suggested revision: save as much of their income as possible Why it matters: The 'as much ... as possible' structure correctly expresses the maximum amount saved.
- 12. Improve verb and adjective Original: get out from the cumbersome life Suggested revision: escape the burdensome life Why it matters: 'Escape' takes no 'from' here, and 'burdensome' accurately describes a difficult way of life.
Suggested Rewrites
- to accomplish the basic necessity to meet the basic need
- a common man the average person
- prefers the possession of a house prefers owning a house
- instead of a tenancy rather than renting
- keen inclination towards strong preference for
- resides in his private property lives in their own property
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay clearly answers both questions, presenting several reasons for preferring ownership and consistently judging the trend as positive. Its strongest feature is the logical organisation of relevant ideas, while awkward collocations and several grammatically incomplete or misconstructed sentences reduce clarity; the priority is to express each supporting reason in natural language and ensure that examples directly and convincingly substantiate the claim.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear positive position and develops relevant reasons including freedom, security, family stability, and reduced rental obligations.
Replace the questionable survey example with a specific, credible illustration that directly shows why ownership produces one of the claimed benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion, although mechanical linkers and some malformed sentences disrupt local flow.
Use fewer formulaic transitions and organise each body paragraph around one main claim followed by explanation and a directly relevant example.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonably broad vocabulary, but frequent unnatural collocations and overly formal expressions reduce accuracy and readability.
Choose natural phrases such as owning a home, saving income, paying rent, and financial security instead of inflated expressions about possession and causative factors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses varied sentence forms, but fragments, faulty clause structures, unclear pronoun subjects, and agreement errors occur repeatedly despite generally clear meaning.
Check each complex sentence for a complete main clause and make sure the person performing every verb is explicit and grammatically consistent.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.