Today, Many People Do Not Realise the Importance of The Natural World. Why Is This? How Can People Be Encouraged to Learn More About how Important the Natural World Is?
Sample Response
Undeniably, some people do not realize the importance of the environment. It has many reasons for this scenario; in this essay, I intend to delve into the right reason and solution to the encouragement of people to save the environment.
To begin with, there are numerous reasons why some people do not realize the importance of the natural world. First, they live in a materialistic society and follow the use-and-throw culture. This shows the symbols of their status and becomes a part of their lives. Thus, their activities, directly and indirectly, affect nature in many ways. For example, plastic bags and bottles are dumped in seawater or the ocean after their use and take hundreds of years to become biodegradable material. The second one is their lack of awareness about the environment and using the product. In other words, some people do not know much about how their daily activity affects nature or even sometimes do not bother themselves with recycling products. As a result, their behaviours negatively affect the natural world.
On the other hand, there is a lot of way with the help of these people can be aware of learning about the protection of the atmosphere. Firstly, the Government can arrange a program to spread awareness about recycling and not to use non-biodegradable materials. For instance, in Denmark, people gain resentment when they use public transportation three times a week to avoid pollution in the air. Secondly, media may be used to spread awareness among people, like films and discovery shows about nature protection can be shown to the public.
In conclusion, in my opinion, a lack of knowledge about environmental protection and a materialistic society is the main reason for not realizing of importance of the natural world. At the same time, this can be solved by authority influence and media aid.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant alternatives Original: seawater or the ocean Suggested revision: seas or oceans Why it matters: "Seawater" and "the ocean" overlap in meaning, so the plural nouns express the locations clearly.
- 2. Use the correct verb Original: become biodegradable material Suggested revision: biodegrade Why it matters: Waste biodegrades; it does not become a type of biodegradable material.
- 3. Name the second cause Original: The second one Suggested revision: A second reason Why it matters: This phrase clearly signals the next cause instead of using the vague pronoun "one."
- 4. Correct the preposition Original: about Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The noun "awareness" normally takes the preposition "of."
- 5. Complete the noun phrase Original: using the product Suggested revision: the products they use Why it matters: The revised phrase clearly identifies what people lack awareness of.
- 6. Use plural agreement Original: daily activity affects Suggested revision: daily activities affect Why it matters: The plural noun and verb are needed to refer to people's repeated everyday actions.
- 7. Correct adverb order Original: even sometimes do not Suggested revision: sometimes do not even Why it matters: Placing "even" after the auxiliary makes its scope over the action clear.
- 8. Use idiomatic construction Original: bother themselves with recycling products Suggested revision: bother to recycle products Why it matters: "Bother to" followed by an infinitive is the natural construction for making an effort.
- 9. Lowercase common noun Original: Government Suggested revision: government Why it matters: "Government" is a common noun here and does not require a capital letter.
- 10. Correct the preposition Original: about Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The noun "awareness" takes "of" before its subject.
- 11. Keep parallel structure Original: not to use non-biodegradable materials Suggested revision: avoiding non-biodegradable materials Why it matters: The gerund makes this item parallel with "recycling" after the preposition "about."
- 12. Add the article Original: media may be used Suggested revision: the media may be used Why it matters: The collective institution is conventionally referred to as "the media."
Suggested Rewrites
- seawater or the ocean seas or oceans
- become biodegradable material biodegrade
- The second one A second reason
- about of
- using the product the products they use
- daily activity affects daily activities affect
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response covers both causes and ways to encourage greater awareness, and its clear four-paragraph structure makes the main direction easy to follow. However, several explanations are circular or only partly relevant, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors sometimes obscure the intended meaning. The highest priority is to develop each cause and solution through a clear causal chain, using accurate sentence structures and concrete, logically matched examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered, but the causes are only partly explained and some supporting examples do not clearly demonstrate why people lack awareness.
Explain how each stated cause produces indifference to nature and use examples that directly support that relationship.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognizable progression from causes to solutions, though some linking is mechanical and several internal connections are unclear.
Organize each body paragraph around distinct points and connect every example directly to the sentence it is intended to support.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations reduce precision and sometimes distort meaning.
Prioritize natural combinations such as raise awareness, government initiatives, and incentives, checking that each chosen word expresses the intended idea.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied sentence forms, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, clause construction, and noun phrases weaken clarity.
Build complex sentences from secure main clauses and systematically check subject-verb agreement, articles, and singular-plural forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today, Many People Do Not Realise the Importance of The Natural World. Why Is This? How Can People Be Encouraged to Learn More About how Important the Natural World Is?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.