Some people think imported food exerts positive impacts on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Nowadays, supermarkets are stocked with food products from around the world. Some individuals are of the opinion that this imported food has a beneficial effect on us. I beg to differ. I feel that the local and regional produce is better for us and will discuss why in this essay.
It is certainly the case that importing food can have a negative effect on local culture. This can be seen in countries such as Japan where imported food has become more popular than traditional, local produce, eroding people’s understanding of their own food traditions. Although some would claim that this is a natural part of economic development, in an increasingly global world. I feel strongly that any loss of regional culture would be detrimental.
A second major reason to reduce imports is the environmental cost. Currently, many food imports such as fruit, are transported thousands of miles by road, sea, and air, making the product more expensive to buy and increasing pollution from exhaust fumes. Despite the act that trade in food exports has existed for many years, I am convinced that a reduction would bring significant financial and environmental gains.
However, many jobs depend on food exports and some less developed countries may even depend on this trade for economic survival. In spite of this, the importance of developing local trade should not be undervalued.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: the local and regional produce Suggested revision: local and regional produce Why it matters: Produce is used generically here and does not take the definite article.
- 2. Set off relative clause Original: countries such as Japan where Suggested revision: countries such as Japan, where Why it matters: The non-defining relative clause about Japan should be preceded by a comma.
- 3. Remove stray comma Original: food imports such as fruit, Suggested revision: food imports such as fruit Why it matters: The example phrase is integrated into the subject and should not be followed by this comma.
- 4. Match plural reference Original: the product more expensive Suggested revision: these products more expensive Why it matters: The singular noun does not agree with the plural food imports it refers to.
- 5. Correct fixed expression Original: act Suggested revision: fact Why it matters: The concessive expression requires fact rather than act.
- 6. Use precise terminology Original: trade in food exports Suggested revision: international food trade Why it matters: The original phrase is awkward because exports are already a form of trade.
- 7. Specify the reduction Original: a reduction would bring Suggested revision: a reduction in imports would bring Why it matters: Naming imports removes ambiguity about what would be reduced.
- 8. Separate independent clauses Original: food exports and some Suggested revision: food exports, and some Why it matters: A comma is needed before and because it joins two independent clauses.
- 9. Avoid verb repetition Original: depend Suggested revision: rely Why it matters: Rely avoids repeating depend within the same sentence.
- 10. Use accurate collocation Original: undervalued Suggested revision: underestimated Why it matters: Underestimated more naturally describes the importance of an activity.
- 11. Use concise wording Original: of the opinion that Suggested revision: believe that Why it matters: Believe conveys the same meaning more directly in an academic essay.
- 12. Streamline paragraph opening Original: It is certainly the case that Suggested revision: Certainly, Why it matters: The concise linking adverb introduces the claim without an unnecessary framing clause.
Suggested Rewrites
- the local and regional produce local and regional produce
- countries such as Japan where countries such as Japan, where
- food imports such as fruit, food imports such as fruit
- the product more expensive these products more expensive
- act fact
- trade in food exports international food trade
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear disagreement and offers relevant cultural and environmental reasons, using varied language and generally logical paragraphing. However, it is under length, contains several sentence-structure and word-choice lapses, and ends with a counterargument without a concluding synthesis. The highest-priority improvement is to add a clear conclusion and develop the final concession so it reinforces the stated position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a consistent position and relevant reasons, but the under-length treatment and unresolved final concession limit development.
Add a conclusion that weighs the acknowledged economic benefit against the main arguments and clearly reaffirms the position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is generally logical, although the final paragraph feels incomplete and some linking structures are mismanaged.
Integrate concessions into complete sentences and connect the final paragraph explicitly to the central argument.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic-specific vocabulary with generally effective control despite a few inaccurate choices.
Proofread collocations and slips such as act for fact, and choose more precise wording for economic claims.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex forms is attempted successfully, but fragments and punctuation errors recur in concessive structures.
Practise attaching clauses beginning with although and despite to grammatically complete main clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think imported food exerts positive impacts on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.