Some countries import a large amount of food from other parts of the world. To what extent is this a positive or negative trend?
Sample Response
Instead of creating their own food commodities, governments throughout the world are increasingly dependent on food imported from other countries. It is, in my opinion, a dangerous trend that will have a detrimental influence on the agricultural sectors of countries. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall explain my thoughts in detail.
The disadvantage of depending on imported commodities rather than indigenous goods is that all local farmers in the nation who rely on crop sales would see a significant drop, lowering their living conditions. As a result, agricultural workers may need to seek alternative employment opportunities. Moreover, during times of crisis, nations that import products on a large scale will stop doing so, causing other countries that buy these items to suffer greatly.
Additionally, imported food is not necessarily nutritious. To preserve the food while it is transported to other parts of the world, specific chemicals are added to it. These preservatives have been linked to the development of deadly illnesses such as cancer. In addition, failing to maintain storage facilities results in significant food waste. Moreover, countries have to spend a huge amount to foreign countries in trade, and imported food is overpriced. It also has a negative impact on the nations’ native cultures. In Japan, for example, where imported meals are growing more popular, people’s knowledge of their own indigenous cuisines is dwindling.
However, in a way, it might also be true that importing goods can provide access to some foods that would otherwise be unavailable in certain countries. Preserved foods kept for extended periods, on the other hand, can induce a range of illnesses.
To summarise, imports are not always beneficial, and they have a negative influence on the country’s agriculture sector, weakening the country’s economic position.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural wording Original: creating their own food commodities Suggested revision: producing their own food Why it matters: This phrase expresses domestic food production more naturally and precisely.
- 2. Tighten the phrase Original: agricultural sectors of countries Suggested revision: countries’ agricultural sectors Why it matters: The possessive form is more concise and idiomatic here.
- 3. Prefer standard phrasing Original: forthcoming Suggested revision: following Why it matters: This is the more natural phrase for referring to later parts of an essay.
- 4. Avoid overgeneralisation Original: all local farmers in the nation Suggested revision: local farmers nationwide Why it matters: This keeps the intended scope without the overly absolute word “all.”
- 5. Specify what falls Original: see a significant drop Suggested revision: experience a significant drop in sales Why it matters: The noun “drop” needs a clear indication of what is decreasing.
- 6. Fix the collocation Original: lowering their living conditions Suggested revision: lowering their standard of living Why it matters: “Standard of living” is the idiomatic expression for economic well-being.
- 7. Name the substance Original: specific chemicals are added to it Suggested revision: preservatives are added to it Why it matters: “Preservatives” is more precise than the vague phrase “specific chemicals.”
- 8. Clarify the subject Original: failing to maintain storage facilities results Suggested revision: inadequate storage facilities result Why it matters: The revised subject clearly identifies the condition that causes food waste.
- 9. Correct spending phrase Original: spend a huge amount to foreign countries in trade Suggested revision: spend huge amounts on imported food Why it matters: English uses “spend ... on,” and this wording states the object of the expenditure clearly.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Moreover, during times of crisis, nations that import products on a large scale will stop doing so, causing other countries that buy these items to suffer greatly. Suggested revision: Moreover, during times of crisis, large-scale importers may halt their purchases, causing exporting countries to suffer greatly. Why it matters: The original pronouns and country roles obscure which nations stop buying and which suffer.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: However, in a way, it might also be true that importing goods can provide access to some foods that would otherwise be unavailable in certain countries. Suggested revision: However, importing goods can provide access to foods that would otherwise be unavailable in some countries. Why it matters: Removing stacked hedging makes the concession clearer while preserving the claim.
- 12. Group related drawbacks Suggested revision: Arrange the health, waste, economic, and cultural drawbacks in a clearer sequence, using transitions only when the focus genuinely changes. Why it matters: The paragraph moves rapidly among several distinct disadvantages, which weakens its internal progression.
Suggested Rewrites
- creating their own food commodities producing their own food
- agricultural sectors of countries countries’ agricultural sectors
- forthcoming following
- all local farmers in the nation local farmers nationwide
- see a significant drop experience a significant drop in sales
- lowering their living conditions lowering their standard of living
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear negative position and supports it with a broad range of relevant consequences, while its paragraphing makes the argument easy to follow. The main limitation is uneven development: several claims, especially those about crises, health, waste, trade, and culture, are asserted rapidly or expressed imprecisely. Prioritise two or three central reasons and explain each causal link with a credible, specific example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear negative position is maintained and supported by several relevant ideas, although some claims are insufficiently developed or logically imprecise.
Develop fewer main reasons more fully, making each consequence of food imports explicit and supporting it with a credible example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through clear paragraphs, but frequent additive linkers and the brief concession create somewhat mechanical cohesion.
Use linking expressions more selectively and integrate the positive concession into a paragraph that clearly advances the central argument.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonably wide topic-specific vocabulary, but recurring awkward collocations and imprecise word choices reduce naturalness and clarity.
Replace expressions such as creating food commodities and spending money to countries with accurate, natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, though several sentence-level construction and reference problems remain noticeable.
Check complex sentences for complete complements, clear pronoun reference, and accurate clause relationships before finalising the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some countries import a large amount of food from other parts of the world. To what extent is this a positive or negative trend?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.