As global trade has increased among different nations, many daily necessities are produced in other countries. Such goods are usually transported a long distance to reach the consumers. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh its drawbacks?
Sample Response
Global trade agreements among nations guarantee that the market reach of products goes beyond the boundary and borders. With the advancement of transportation and communication systems, many goods are now transported a long distance, even to a different continent. This has brought many benefits even though its negative aspects cannot be ignored. This essay will outline both advantages and problems associated with this trend and opine that the advantages of it transcend its disadvantages.
One major advantage of this trend is that it makes the price of many commodities reasonable and widens the choices for consumers. It, in turn, ensures a fair market policy and the availability of different brands and products. For instance, with the presence of global brands, devices like mobile phones and computers have become affordable for all. Moreover, small businesses around the world that produces salable goods are no longer deprived of the scarcity of customers. Global trade and better transportation have helped a large population of the world to create and enhance their marketplace. For instance, a carpet made by an Iranian or a toy produced by a small Chinese company is now available in many countries. The distance these products crossed before arriving in any European country is not a problem.
Secondly, not all countries can produce everything they need. Different types of crops, fruits and vegetables are grown in different geographical locations and to enjoy this variety of foods, they must be transported to a long distance. Similarly, people from different countries have different skills and the type of goods they make have differences. The daily necessities we get from other countries have more benefits than our attempt to produce those in our homeland.
On the contrary, if chemicals and preservatives are used in our foods, fruits or vegetable only to keep them fresh even after a long trip and prorogated time, that would be dangerous for our health. Some of our daily necessities come from countries where proper hygiene is not maintained and eating those food items might be dangerous for our health. Another drawback this trend possesses is the loss many traders might face due to an unexpected delay in transportation. However, I believe that the drawbacks of transporting daily commodities between nations could be controlled with strict laws and regulations.
To conclude, transporting important goods to other countries has far more significant advantages than the possible demerits it has. Therefore, it should be treated as a welcoming trend.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant terms Original: the boundary and borders Suggested revision: national boundaries Why it matters: Boundary and borders repeat the same idea, while national boundaries states it precisely.
- 2. Use plural distance Original: a long distance, even Suggested revision: long distances, even Why it matters: The general statement about many goods requires the plural expression long distances.
- 3. Use natural comparison Original: opine that the advantages of it transcend its disadvantages Suggested revision: argue that its advantages outweigh its disadvantages Why it matters: Outweigh is the conventional verb for comparing advantages with disadvantages.
- 4. Use price collocation Original: makes the price of many commodities reasonable Suggested revision: makes many commodities more affordable Why it matters: Affordable describes reasonably priced goods more naturally and concisely.
- 5. Use natural collocation Original: widens the choices for consumers Suggested revision: broadens consumer choice Why it matters: Broaden consumer choice is the standard collocation in this context.
- 6. Clarify market effect Original: a fair market policy Suggested revision: a competitive market Why it matters: A competitive market names the market condition created by wider product availability.
- 7. Fix subject agreement Original: produces Suggested revision: produce Why it matters: The plural antecedent businesses requires the plural verb produce.
- 8. Fix contradictory phrase Original: are no longer deprived of the scarcity of customers Suggested revision: no longer face a scarcity of customers Why it matters: Being deprived of scarcity reverses the intended meaning, so face a scarcity is required.
- 9. Refer to people Original: a large population of the world Suggested revision: many people around the world Why it matters: Population does not naturally refer to a large number of individual producers in this structure.
- 10. Use business collocation Original: create and enhance their marketplace Suggested revision: establish and expand their markets Why it matters: Establish and expand markets accurately describes developing access to customers.
- 11. Use present tense Original: crossed Suggested revision: travel Why it matters: The general claim needs the present-tense verb travel rather than crossed.
- 12. Use indefinite article Original: any Suggested revision: a Why it matters: A is the natural determiner for one nonspecific destination in this example.
Suggested Rewrites
- the boundary and borders national boundaries
- a long distance, even long distances, even
- opine that the advantages of it transcend its disadvantages argue that its advantages outweigh its disadvantages
- makes the price of many commodities reasonable makes many commodities more affordable
- widens the choices for consumers broadens consumer choice
- a fair market policy a competitive market
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear judgement and covers both sides at useful length, with consumer choice, affordability, market access, and food variety providing substantial support. Its main limitation is that some examples move beyond daily necessities and several claims and collocations are imprecise, while environmental transport costs are omitted. Prioritise a tighter comparison using essential goods and include emissions as a major long-distance drawback before weighing the sides.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Benefits and drawbacks are both developed and a clear judgement is sustained, though some examples are not daily necessities and one major drawback is omitted.
Use examples of essential imported goods and weigh affordability and variety directly against emissions, spoilage, and supply delays.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically paragraphed and progresses from two groups of benefits to drawbacks and a consistent conclusion.
Make the final weighing more explicit by comparing the relative scale of the strongest benefit and drawback.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied enough for trade and consumer topics, but recurring inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Correct phrases such as 'deprived of the scarcity of customers', 'transported to a long distance', 'prorogated time', and 'welcoming trend'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures is used, though agreement, articles, prepositions, and awkward clause construction recur without obscuring the main meaning.
Proofread subject-verb agreement and preposition patterns, particularly in sentences about businesses, products, and transport distances.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
As global trade has increased among different nations, many daily necessities are produced in other countries. Such goods are usually transported a long distance to reach the consumers. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh its drawbacks?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.