In many countries, television shows many foreign-made programmes. The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the cultures of these countries. To what extent to you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Nowadays, foreign-made programs take their dominance in most countries, if not all. Undoubtedly, those programs bring about many negative effects. Chiefs among them are the adoption of bad habits and watching-addiction. For several reasons, I agree that the imported entertainment negatively affects the cultures of countries.
The first harm caused by imported foreign programs is the adoption of bad habits. In fact, foreign-made programs plant bad habits in their watchers which will be negatively reflected in their culture. For example, my neighbour is so obsessed with watching foreign- programs and he and he always intends to imitate and adopt such bad habits. As a result, he began to drink Alcohol and use drugs. Consequently, he caused many problems to his family in particular, and to his neighbours in general. This clearly shows us the danger the foreign programs may have on a community.
A second harmful effect of foreign-made programs is that they cause watching -addiction. In fact, many people, especially youth, are addicted to those programs. For example, my brother was a student who used to watch foreign- made programs every time and they left negative impacts on him. As a result, he became careless and indifferent to his studies to the point that he failed 3 exams. Consequently, he was dismissed from the university and is now jobless. So, it can be inferred that such programs have no benefits but serious effects.
To conclude, foreign –made programs are harmful to any community since they cause watching –addiction and bad habits adoption. To avoid above harms, governments are required to band foreign-made programs and replace them with local ones.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: take their dominance Suggested revision: are dominant Why it matters: English uses “be dominant,” not “take dominance,” for this meaning.
- 2. Use singular adjective Original: Chiefs Suggested revision: Chief Why it matters: “Chief” is an adjective in this fixed expression and does not take a plural ending.
- 3. Remove unnecessary article Original: the imported entertainment Suggested revision: imported entertainment Why it matters: The uncountable noun is used generally and does not need “the.”
- 4. Use appropriate noun Original: watchers Suggested revision: viewers Why it matters: People who watch television programmes are normally called “viewers.”
- 5. Clarify relative reference Original: which will be negatively reflected Suggested revision: and these will be negatively reflected Why it matters: The relative pronoun could refer to either viewers or habits, so an explicit plural subject is needed.
- 6. Remove stray hyphen Original: foreign- programs Suggested revision: foreign programs Why it matters: No hyphen belongs between an adjective and its noun here.
- 7. Delete repeated words Original: he and he always Suggested revision: he always Why it matters: The subject and conjunction have been accidentally repeated.
- 8. Use tendency verb Original: intends Suggested revision: tends Why it matters: “Tends to” describes repeated behaviour, while “intends to” describes a plan.
- 9. Use lowercase noun Original: Alcohol Suggested revision: alcohol Why it matters: Common nouns such as “alcohol” are not capitalized mid-sentence.
- 10. Correct preposition Original: to Suggested revision: for Why it matters: Problems are caused “for” a person, not “to” them.
- 11. Use impact collocation Original: the danger the foreign programs may have on Suggested revision: the harmful effect foreign programs may have on Why it matters: An effect is “had on” a community, whereas “danger” does not fit that structure.
- 12. Use correct group noun Original: especially youth Suggested revision: especially young people Why it matters: “Youth” does not naturally refer to a general plural group in this structure.
Suggested Rewrites
- take their dominance are dominant
- Chiefs Chief
- the imported entertainment imported entertainment
- watchers viewers
- which will be negatively reflected and these will be negatively reflected
- foreign- programs foreign programs
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear position and organizes two main harms into distinct paragraphs with illustrative personal examples. However, addiction and individual misconduct are not convincingly connected to the specific question of cultural harm, and several claims are sweeping or repetitive. The highest-priority improvement is to explain concrete mechanisms of cultural displacement, such as changes in language, traditions, or local media, and support them with more credible evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A consistent position and two relevant harms are presented, but the discussion only partially addresses cultural impact and relies on exaggerated personal anecdotes.
Develop reasons that directly show how imported programmes can weaken local culture, while acknowledging that not all foreign content produces the same effects.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with straightforward progression despite mechanical linking and repeated ideas.
Use fewer result connectors and build each paragraph through a precise claim, explanation of cultural impact, and credible example.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for expressing harm, addiction, and community effects, but repetition, inaccurate word formation, and unnatural collocations limit flexibility.
Use precise terms such as dominate television schedules, viewers, cultural influence, screen addiction, adopt harmful habits, and ban programmes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex sentences communicates the main message, but frequent errors in agreement, pronouns, articles, punctuation, and sentence construction reduce control.
Edit for correct relative clauses and pronoun reference, remove duplicated words, and check article use and compound-word punctuation.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, television shows many foreign-made programmes. The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the cultures of these countries. To what extent to you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.