The best way to make society happier is to ensure that the richest and poorest people have the smallest differences in earnings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
This response is estimated at Band 6.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
Some people believe that the most effective way to improve social welfare is to narrow the income gap between the richest and poorest peoplebetween richest people and poorest people. Although this view has some good points, such as increasing poor people's income and their life quality, I still disagree with that ideadisagree that idea because this view will lower people's incentive to work hard and may reducedecline social well-being.
Narrowing people's income gap may have some positive impacts. In this situation, people who live in poor households could have higher monthly salariessalary. As a result, they could have more options, like consuming more products or working for less time. Those options then could improve their life quality, leading to a happier life.
However, improving poor people's well-being is not equal to makingcould not equal to make the whole societywhole society happier, becausebeacuse this view neglectsneglect to reward people who work very hard. Working hard is a very important factor that makesfactor which make somebody rich. If people who work really hard couldcoudl only get similarsimiliar income like lazy people, people then may lose incentive to try their best to finish their job. Furthermore, the society's total productionsocieties' total production may decline and that could ultimately decline our social well-being because we would have fewer productswe has less products and options to consume. Increasing poor people's life quality while rewarding hard-workingwoking people therefore is a reasonable solution, and one way to do that is to design some tax policies. Governments could tax wealthy peopleGovernment could tax to weath people and use thatthose money to improve poor people's life. Besides, we could also implement policiespublish some policies to reward people who do their job well.
In conclusion, I disagree about the idea of decreasing the income gap between wealthiestweathest people and poorest people. Even though it could improve poor people's well-being, it does not mean that it could make society happiermore happier. Given the importance of working hard, we could design tax policies to achieve this goal.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay presents a clear position against the prompt's statement and develops a logical argument supported by relevant points about work incentives and overall social well-being. Main ideas are organized into distinct paragraphs, though cohesion relies occasionally on repetitive transition markers. To reach a higher standard, the writer should focus on correcting frequent grammatical errors in subject-verb agreement and comparative structures, as well as refining word choice and spelling.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly addresses the prompt, taking a consistent stance throughout the essay and explaining reasons regarding economic incentives and overall welfare.
Elaborate further on proposed solutions such as tax policies to make the counter-arguments even more fully developed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and ideas progress steadily, though connective devices are occasionally repetitive or mechanical.
Use a wider variety of linking words and ensure smooth transitions between contrasting ideas.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to convey main ideas clearly, but there are noticeable spelling errors and occasional imprecise word choices.
Proofread carefully to eliminate spelling mistakes like 'coudl' or 'weath' and practice using precise academic vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
While complex sentences are attempted, frequent grammatical errors in agreement, article usage, and double comparatives obscure precision.
Review fundamental grammar rules, focusing particularly on subject-verb agreement and avoiding errors like 'more happier'.