Nowadays, more people travel abroad for tourism than ever before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
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Sample Response
In recent years, the rise of travelers enjoyingenjoyed tourism abroad has generated widespread debate. There are several reasons why this phenomenon can happen, and while it would be an overstatement to dismiss the potential drawbacks entirely, I am firmly of the view that the benefits substantially outweigh the disadvantages.
As for the reason which causes the preference of **traveling** abroad, people have more economical budgets for their overseas travel plansoversea journey plans, while international interactions havehas accelerated it a lot as well. Take Chinese people as an example, on the one hand, an increasing number of Chinese people have gained a higher quality of lifehigher life qualities with good salaries, and thus they have more money for planning their holiday trips. On the other hand, more frequent international interactions and cooperationcooperations have also provided people with more approaches to know other countries’ events, feel their cultures and **grasp** the latest news, which promotes their curiositywhich promote their curiosities. Therefore, more people prefer to go abroad to broadenexplore their horizons and experience different customs and cultures. Moreovermoreover, social media have also boosted this trend. **More than half of all individualsAlmost over half individuals** use social media platforms for entertainment, which directly offers them a method to **contact with** other countries people online. Foreigners post pictures of foodpose food, drinks, landscapes and even their daily lives on social media, which **stimulates** people’s **desire to have a look in personby themselves. Overall,** more individuals choose to travel abroad because of these **causescausions.**
This trend absolutely has both positive and negative effectsboth pros and cons effects, and I believe the positive one is more significant. Even though its negative influences still should not be overlooked. The growing number of people prefer to travel abroad lead to the decreasing incomes of local tourism. Besides, this has partly resulted in severe cultural erosionerosions and not been beneficial for traditional culture development. However, further benefits have been brought simultaneously, like international visitors. It is obviousobviously that more people traveling overseas has brought more international travelers to local areashave brought more international travelers come to local areas simultaneously, and most notably the promotion of cross-cultural understanding and the elevation of a city's global profile as a centre of history and civilisation. These gains stem from the fact that when international visitors engage with a city's local streets and attractions, they carry those cultural experiences back to their home countries, fostering greater global awareness and appreciation of diverse histories and traditions, an outcome that is widely regarded as highly valuable, as illustrated by the way in which cities such as Rome, Athens, and Kyoto have leveraged their status as world-renowned cultural destinations to attract sustained international investment, diplomatic goodwill, and academic collaboration.
In conclusion, a careful and balanced analysis of this issue leads me to the conclusion that the tangible benefits of overseas tourism considerably and convincingly outweigh any conceivable drawbacks.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly states a position on whether international tourism is positive or negative and provides developed arguments with examples. However, the essay devotes significant space to answering why this trend occurs, which is not asked by the prompt, slightly obscuring the main focus. To improve, ensure all body paragraphs directly evaluate the impacts rather than explaining background causes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You present a clear stance and evaluate pros and cons, but spending a large paragraph on why people travel off-targetly addresses a prompt that only asks whether it is positive or negative.
Focus fully on discussing the advantages and disadvantages of the trend rather than explaining its underlying causes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response maintains an overall progression with clear paragraph structure, though some transitions and sentence connections are mechanical or awkwardly framed.
Use smoother linking expressions between ideas and avoid abrupt shifts, particularly when introducing concessions or cause-and-effect reasoning.
Lexical Resource
An adequate vocabulary range is demonstrated with some higher-level attempts, though errors in word choice, preposition use, and spelling are noticeable.
Refine word choice and preposition collocations, such as correcting 'contact with people' and misspelled terms like 'causions'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is used, but grammatical mistakes in verb patterns, agreement, and clause structure recur throughout.
Pay close attention to verb structures following main clauses, ensuring correct usage of non-finite verbs and subject-verb agreement.