As a result of medical sciences, the average life expectancy is increasing for men and women. Do you think most people see it as a positive development? What are disadvantages of the ageing population for individuals and society?
Sample Response
Life expectancy has risen in recent decadeshas soared nowadays which means that people are living longerliving for more years than before, and this is largely due tocredit for this surely goes to the advances in healthcareadvanced health care facilities available todayavailable in the contemporary world. Yes, most people view it as a positive developmentan advantageous development, as we can expect our loveddear ones to be with us for longerfor more time. As only after retirement one usually gets much time to spend with oneself and family. Therefore, one has more years to enjoyrejoice what life has to offer. Moreover, older employees in organisationsold people in the organisations are highly knowledgeable colleaguesthe most knowledgeable people, who can help and guide the young employees to acquire proficiency in various skills. Take thean example of a senior database administrator, who can offer valuable informationwho can only offer valuable information to the trainees who have just joined the company. However, increased longevity alsoOn the contrary, this also has some subtle disadvantages. Not everyone is healthy enough to enjoy old age gracefully. Sometimes one gets so weak that they find it difficult to carry outhe/she feels difficult to carry out even mundane tasks. But they have no other option but to passno other option than just passing their days somehow. Apart from that, governments are now burdened with providing support for older peopleold age provisions to more peopleto more number of people than in the pastthan the past. Ultimately, it forces young people in the workforce to pay more taxes, to generate more money for these additional expenditures of management of the country. Being old and dependent is something which is increasing recently due to the increased life span. In crux, I would say that quantum jump in life expectancy has numerous constructive impacts. However, it has given risedoes have given rise to some problems too for both individuals and society.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay answers both questions, clearly presenting longer life as positive while identifying frailty, dependency, pension costs, and higher taxes as disadvantages for individuals and society. Its strongest feature is the relevant range of effects; the main limitation is the single-paragraph presentation and frequent awkward or inaccurate phrasing. Prioritise separating benefits from drawbacks and developing the social-cost explanation with clearer cause-and-effect language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are directly answered with relevant personal and social benefits and disadvantages, though several ideas could be developed more precisely.
Explain more fully how longer retirement, chronic illness, dependency, pension spending, and taxation affect individuals and public finances.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas move recognisably from a positive view to individual and societal disadvantages, but the entire response is one paragraph and some links are mechanical.
Use an introduction, a benefits paragraph, separate individual and social drawback paragraphs, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied language for ageing, work, and public spending, but many collocations are unnatural or inaccurate despite clear overall meaning.
Use natural phrases such as ‘live longer’, ‘loved ones’, ‘enjoy life’, ‘find everyday tasks difficult’, ‘pension provision’, and ‘public expenditure’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of structures is attempted, but fragments, agreement, pronoun reference, comparison, and auxiliary errors occur frequently.
Repair the ‘As only after retirement’ fragment and correct forms such as ‘finds it difficult’, ‘a greater number’, and ‘has given rise’.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
As a result of medical sciences, the average life expectancy is increasing for men and women. Do you think most people see it as a positive development? What are disadvantages of the ageing population for individuals and society?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.