Some people say that what people do to protect the environment cannot make a difference. Others say that individuals can help to protect the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
It is often debated whether individual actions can meaningfully protect the environment or whether only large-scale efforts by governments and corporations can make a real difference. While I acknowledge that systemic change is indispensable, I contend that individual responsibility and grassroots engagement are vital catalysts for broader environmental progress.
Some argue that environmental problems are too vast for individual efforts to have any significant impact. From this perspective, the most significant causes of environmental degradation are believed to come from industries and government policies. Pollution, deforestation, and greenhouse gas emissions are often driven by factories, large-scale agriculture, and weak regulatory enforcement. As a result, small-scale actions such as using reusable bags or turning off lights may feel insignificant when compared to the scope of industrial damage. Another concern is the lack of coordination among individuals. When only a few people recycle or save water while the majority continue wasteful habits, the cumulative effect appears minimal. Consequently, isolated efforts often produce little visible change to climate or biodiversity, leading many to doubt the effectiveness of personal responsibility in combating global challenges.
Nonetheless, I firmly believe that individual responsibility plays a vital role in protecting the planet. One important reason is that widespread change often begins with shifts in individual behaviour. When people make daily choices to reduce waste, use eco-friendly products, or conserve energy, they contribute to a growing culture of sustainability. Over time, these small habits influence consumer demand and encourage industries to adopt greener practices. Another key point is that individuals can participate in civic and community engagement. By voting for environmentally focused leaders, joining local campaigns, or supporting grassroots initiatives, for example, citizens can help shape environmental policy. As a result, public involvement builds collective pressure on governments and corporations, pushing them toward more sustainable decisions.
In conclusion, although the scale of industrial pollution and the need for coordinated action by governments and corporations are undeniable, I maintain that individual behaviors and community initiatives are essential foundations for meaningful environmental progress.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a concise phrase Original: the most significant causes Suggested revision: the main causes Why it matters: This expresses the same idea more directly without inflating the claim.
- 2. Use precise causation Original: come Suggested revision: stem Why it matters: Stem from is a more precise academic collocation for identifying causes.
- 3. Choose the natural noun Original: scope Suggested revision: scale Why it matters: Scale more naturally describes the extent of environmental damage.
- 4. Clarify the direction Original: little visible change to climate or biodiversity Suggested revision: little visible improvement in climate conditions or biodiversity Why it matters: Improvement states clearly that the expected change would be beneficial.
- 5. Use a concrete term Original: effectiveness of personal responsibility Suggested revision: effectiveness of individual action Why it matters: Individual action refers more precisely to the practical efforts being discussed.
- 6. Refine the collocation Original: growing Suggested revision: broader Why it matters: Broader better conveys the spread of sustainable habits across society.
- 7. Tighten the transition Original: Another key point is that Suggested revision: Furthermore, Why it matters: A concise transition links the next supporting point without unnecessary framing.
- 8. Remove lexical redundancy Original: participate in civic and community engagement Suggested revision: engage in civic and community action Why it matters: Participate in engagement is redundant, while the revision expresses active involvement clearly.
- 9. Signal the result Original: pushing them toward Suggested revision: thereby pushing them toward Why it matters: Thereby makes the cause-and-effect relationship with collective pressure explicit.
- 10. Keep spelling consistent Original: behaviors Suggested revision: behaviours Why it matters: British spelling keeps this word consistent with behaviour used earlier in the response.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: By voting for environmentally focused leaders, joining local campaigns, or supporting grassroots initiatives, for example, citizens can help shape environmental policy. Suggested revision: For example, citizens can help shape environmental policy by voting for environmentally focused leaders, joining local campaigns, or supporting grassroots initiatives. Why it matters: Moving the example marker to the beginning makes the sentence flow more naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- the most significant causes the main causes
- come stem
- scope scale
- little visible change to climate or biodiversity little visible improvement in climate conditions or biodiversity
- effectiveness of personal responsibility effectiveness of individual action
- growing broader
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response is highly effective because it answers every part directly, develops both perspectives in depth, and sustains a clear personal position through precise, controlled language. Its main limitation is that some support remains general rather than illustrating consequences through a specific real-world example. The best improvement would be to add one concise, concrete illustration while retaining the current focus and fluent progression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and the writer's opinion are fully addressed through relevant, extended reasoning that remains focused on the task.
Add a specific real-world illustration to make one of the well-developed causal arguments even more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses effortlessly from the debate to each position and conclusion, with cohesive devices used unobtrusively.
Vary the repeated point-introducing patterns slightly to make the already clear progression feel even more natural.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and appropriately sophisticated, with strong control of environmental and civic terminology.
Refine the few slightly general phrases, such as visible change to climate, for maximum idiomatic precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex sentence forms is handled accurately and flexibly throughout the response.
Continue proofreading for very minor phrasing or article choices while maintaining the current structural range.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that what people do to protect the environment cannot make a difference. Others say that individuals can help to protect the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.