Some people help their community as an individually while others help through organisation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
The community is an incredible way to give aid to poor, unhealthy or many other who face many fundamental problems on earth. There are two modes to give aid to the community like some people donate money, food or many more individually while others as an organisation through. We will look at both sides before drawing a logical corollary. Some people believe that if they aid a communityaid to a community through an organisationby as an organisation then it is very beneficial for community fundraisingdonation because in organisations, peoplein organisation’s people do work or collect money as a unitunity so it is obvious that if they collect as a group from door to door then they collect more than individuals dothey collect positively correlated with individually. For instance, inIn India, the most famous organisation worldwideas in worldwide is 'Athithi Dev Bavo', which helps many people and communitieshelps to many persons or communities. They provide foodfoods, shelter or good education, and they also provideas well as they, provide job opportunities to poor peoplea job opportunity to a poor person who is not able to get this thing in their lives. Thus they believe that helping the community as an organisation is better. On the other handOn the contrary side, some other people think that if they donate something to the community individuallyas an individually then it is beneficial for community and donor. They think if they donate money in the organisation then sometimes they do not utilise the money as an incredible way and sometimes some group of people use the donation for other purposes. Moreover, it is also beneficial to earn a more popularity. For instance, the actors of any industry give huge money to the community to earn a more popularity even some rich peopleperson also do this thing. However, some rich people make hospital or school for the community where people can get many free facilities such as free treatment, free medicine as well as free operation facility. As an evidence, in Japan, there are several individualsthere several individual people who made a contribution to building up numerous hospitals and schools for giving a higher education or cure to the community and thus, they believe the giving a help by direct is creditable. To sum up, although above look reveals solid evidence for both sides argument, I strongly believe that if we pay as an independent then its positive correlated with the organisation and the money utilities as in incredible mode, unlike organisation.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay addresses organised and individual community support, provides examples for each, and reaches a clear preference for direct individual giving. Its strongest content is the contrast between organisational scale and concerns about misuse of donations, while severe grammatical and lexical problems frequently obscure the reasoning. Prioritise two clearly stated comparisons expressed in short, accurate sentences, with examples that directly demonstrate effectiveness and accountability.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both approaches are discussed and an opinion is given, but several examples and claims are unclear, weakly supported, or only loosely connected to community benefit.
Compare organisational reach with the transparency of direct help, giving one credible, clearly explained example for each.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a recognisable path from organisational help to individual help and a conclusion, but absent paragraphing, run-on sentences, and unclear references weaken progression.
Use an introduction, one paragraph per view, and a conclusion, with each paragraph built around one explicit claim.
Lexical Resource
Some relevant vocabulary for charity and community support appears, but very frequent inaccurate word choices, collocations, and word forms make meaning difficult.
Use simple precise terms such as 'donate directly,' 'charitable organisation,' 'pool resources,' 'misuse funds,' and 'ensure accountability.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, prepositions, pronouns, and verb forms often obstruct communication despite some understandable clauses.
Write short subject-verb-object sentences first, then check every verb and noun phrase before attempting longer comparisons.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people help their community as an individually while others help through organisation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.