Scientists and the news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Governmnets cannot be expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage. What are your views?
Sample Response
Recently scientists worried about climate change have urged governments to introduce measures to reduce the greenhouse gas emissions that are seen as its main cause. Simoultaneouslty, politicians and environmentalists have urged individuals to make changes to their lifestyle. I shall argue that governments and individuals should take join responsibility for this problem.
Firstly, industry accounts for a large proportion of the greenhouse gas emissions, and this can only be controlled by government action. Measures could be taken to discourage pollution, such as limiting or taxing the use of fossil fuels. Alternatively, subsidies could be offered to industries to clean up their production processes. If these ideas were adopted, I believe that businesses would regard pollution as a financial issue.
Secondly, only discussion between governments can ensure that solutions are successful. The Kyoto agreement, for example, tried to reach global agreement on how to address the problem. Without such co-operating, it seems to me that efforts to reduce fuel consumption are unlikely to be effective.
However, national and international policies will only succeed if individuals also change their lifestyle. For example, people could think more carefully about how they use energy in their homes. By using less electricity, installing energy-efficient light bulbs and electrical appliances, or investing in solar panels, individuals can make a real difference.
In addition, I think individual attitudes to transport need to change. Instead of making short tips by car, people could choose to walk, cycle, or take a bus. Since cars are a major source of the problem, changing our behaviour in this area would have a major impact.
In conclusion, I would maintain that only a combination of international agreement, national policies, and changes in individual behaviour will succeed in preventing further damage to the environment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Set off the opener Original: Recently scientists Suggested revision: Recently, scientists Why it matters: A comma after the introductory adverb makes the sentence boundary clearer.
- 2. Correct the spelling Original: Simoultaneouslty Suggested revision: Simultaneously Why it matters: The transition is misspelled.
- 3. Use the correct collocation Original: join Suggested revision: joint Why it matters: Joint is the adjective required to modify responsibility.
- 4. Remove the article Original: a large proportion of the greenhouse gas emissions Suggested revision: a large proportion of greenhouse gas emissions Why it matters: The general plural noun phrase does not require the definite article here.
- 5. Clarify the pronoun Original: this Suggested revision: these Why it matters: The plural pronoun clearly refers to greenhouse gas emissions rather than to the proportion.
- 6. Express the cost precisely Original: regard pollution as a financial issue Suggested revision: treat pollution as a financial cost Why it matters: Financial cost states the intended economic consequence more precisely than financial issue.
- 7. Use the intended concept Original: discussion Suggested revision: cooperation Why it matters: Cooperation matches the claim about governments jointly reaching and implementing solutions.
- 8. Capitalize the proper name Original: agreement Suggested revision: Agreement Why it matters: Both words form the official proper name and require capitals.
- 9. Use a noun form Original: Without such co-operating Suggested revision: Without such cooperation Why it matters: The preposition without requires a noun phrase rather than a participle.
- 10. Match the plural subject Original: lifestyle Suggested revision: lifestyles Why it matters: The plural possessive reference is clearer when paired with the plural noun lifestyles.
- 11. Correct the word Original: tips Suggested revision: trips Why it matters: Trips is the intended word for short journeys made by car.
- 12. Name the problem precisely Original: major source of the problem Suggested revision: major source of greenhouse gas emissions Why it matters: The replacement specifies the environmental problem already discussed in the essay.
Suggested Rewrites
- Recently scientists Recently, scientists
- Simoultaneouslty Simultaneously
- join joint
- a large proportion of the greenhouse gas emissions a large proportion of greenhouse gas emissions
- this these
- regard pollution as a financial issue treat pollution as a financial cost
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, consistent case for shared responsibility and develops it through well-chosen government, international, household, and transport examples. Its progression and sentence control are strong, while the main weakness is a small cluster of spelling and word-form errors that reduce lexical precision. Careful proofreading, especially for less common words and fixed collocations, would make the otherwise polished argument more accurate.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question with a consistent position and develops relevant responsibilities for governments and individuals in detail.
Deepen the evaluation by briefly weighing the relative limits of individual action against the reach of government policy.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through clearly focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader effectively despite slightly visible sequencing.
Vary or reduce paragraph-opening signposts such as Firstly and Secondly so that transitions arise even more naturally from the ideas.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad and generally precise, but several spelling and word-form slips, including join responsibility and short tips, reduce accuracy.
Proofread less familiar vocabulary and fixed expressions carefully, correcting forms such as joint responsibility, cooperation, and short trips.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately and flexibly, with nearly all clauses remaining well controlled.
Preserve this strong structural range while checking the few local form errors during a final sentence-by-sentence edit.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Scientists and the news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Governmnets cannot be expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage. What are your views?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.