Nowadays in many countries, people are following the latest fashion, hairstyles and so on. Why are they so influenced by fashion? Is it a positive or a negative development?
Sample Response
When it comes to fashion and new trends, one of the most significant factors that come to mindfactors come to our mind is that many individuals excessively follow the latest fashionsmost novel fashions ranging from outfits andor hairstyles to home design. In this essay, some reasons behind this phenomenon and some serious drawbacks causedcontributed by this habit are going to be discussed.
People’s notion of beauty could be the main incentive for spending time and money to follow the latest fashionfollow latest fashion and styles. To achieve it they do a lot of things including purchasing branded clothesdress, shoes, ornaments and regularly visiting beauty parlours, spa centres and so on. Being beautiful and attractive is one of the most delightful feelings which human beings arehuman-being are keen to experience. Adopting current stylesHaving updated styles in terms of appearance could often create this feelingcould widely gift such feeling. Moreover, many people believe that fashion could not only befashion not only could be a factor of beauty but it also helps them to gain individualityobtain the individuality and uniqueness in their community, at least in visual aspects.
Many people are heavily influenced by the celebritiesfamous celebrities they like and try to dress like them. Teenagers sometimes follow the latest trends without any particular reason and sometimes to be different from others. Some people are in the fashion industryin fashion industries and they try to present their unique identity by following the latest fashion design. Finally, television programmes and advertisementsadvertisement have a great influence on people and these people simply want to be more attractive by following the latest fashion. Despite a diversity of superficial merits of excessive attention to fashion, it seems that its obvious disadvantages strongly draw societies’ care. For one, because of the fact that acquiring the latest fashion itemsfacilities entails a great deal of money, people are impelled to spend much of their budget for fulfilling their desire to look attractivefulfilling their to look attractive. Furthermore, wasting time thinking about and searching the fashion worldwasting time for thinking and searching in fashion world could be mentioned as another demerit of such time-consuming activities. By way of illustrationBy the way of illustration, one of the serious complications for parents is to prevent their children from wasting timeto tackle their children wasting time in shopping centres or surfing on the Internet pursuing the newest clothing etc. Fashion and latest trends are not restricted to hair style or costumes only. Piercing, tattooing, wearing bizarre materials are some other trends that often create social and family issues in many societies.
In brief, possessing elegant appearance and/or trying to be matched with the community could be some of the crucial elements of surfing in fashion-world and pursuing fashion excessively could lead to a multitude of impactsmultitude impacts on individuals social and personal life alike in long-term.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay's strongest feature is its broad coverage of both questions, identifying several social influences and explaining financial, time-related, and interpersonal drawbacks. Its main limitation is control: reasons and consequences become crowded into one long paragraph, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. Prioritise organising each question into a focused paragraph and expressing the strongest ideas in simpler, more accurate language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers both questions with a clear negative judgement and several relevant reasons and consequences, though some points are only briefly explained.
Select the strongest two influences and two drawbacks, then develop each through a clear cause-and-effect explanation rather than adding more examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall progression from influences to disadvantages is understandable, but the third paragraph combines too many distinct ideas and the linking is sometimes mechanical.
Use one focused paragraph for causes and another for the negative evaluation, each beginning with a clear controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
The essay shows sufficient range for fashion and social influence, but frequent unnatural collocations and word-choice errors weaken precision.
Replace awkward phrases with natural combinations such as follow the latest trends, express individuality, spend money on fashion, and long-term effects.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the main meaning, although agreement, articles, word forms, and clause construction are frequently inaccurate.
Proofread for subject-verb agreement, plural forms, possessives, and complete clause structures before attempting elaborate sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays in many countries, people are following the latest fashion, hairstyles and so on. Why are they so influenced by fashion? Is it a positive or a negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.