Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Some today would argue that the revolution in information technology has a pernicious impact generally. In my opinion, the drawbacks related to social interaction do not outweigh the positive possibilities now available to the average person.
The legitimately worrying disadvantages to information technology concern interpersonal relationships. In the past, social interactions in person were more common. Today, a majority of conversations take place through messaging apps and on social media. The short-term result is that communication skills are in decline. The longer-term implications will create wider social trends. As people interact and form groups online they are more prone to groupthink and radicalization. What would normally be mitigated by one’s circle of friends and families, can now grow unabated in the virtual sphere with possible negative results for all of society.
The main advantages of the current age are increases in what is possible. These possibilities are most basically conveniences. Users can save time by taking advantage of their phones to send emails, make calls, organize their day and undertake a variety of other tasks. As technology evolves, it has even become more common for employees to work remotely and therefore conserve time and energy commuting to and from the office. Beyond these simple comforts, people are able to accomplish more with digital devices. This includes the ability to write with word processors, edit video on various applications, and then post and interact with a global audience through the internet and sites such as YouTube.
In conclusion, despite the threat of a less socially active world, there are justifying benefits concerning human potentiality. Both the positives and negatives must be weighed and managed carefully.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural adverb placement Original: has a pernicious impact generally Suggested revision: generally has a pernicious impact Why it matters: Placing the adverb before the verb phrase makes this formal claim sound more natural.
- 2. Correct preposition Original: to Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The standard collocation is 'disadvantages of' something.
- 3. Use concise phrasing Original: social interactions in person Suggested revision: face-to-face social interactions Why it matters: This is a more concise and natural expression for interactions conducted in person.
- 4. Add introductory comma Original: groups online they Suggested revision: groups online, they Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory dependent clause.
- 5. Remove subject comma Original: families, can Suggested revision: families can Why it matters: A comma must not separate this subject phrase from its verb.
- 6. Clarify abstract wording Original: are increases in what is possible Suggested revision: lie in the expansion of what is possible Why it matters: The revision expresses the abstract advantage more clearly and naturally.
- 7. Use natural adverb Original: most basically conveniences Suggested revision: primarily conveniences Why it matters: 'Primarily' states the main character of these possibilities more idiomatically.
- 8. Use direct wording Original: taking advantage of their phones Suggested revision: using their phones Why it matters: The simpler verb accurately expresses ordinary phone use without suggesting exploitation of an opportunity.
- 9. Clarify saved resources Original: conserve time and energy commuting to and from the office Suggested revision: save the time and energy spent commuting to and from the office Why it matters: This phrasing makes clear that remote work saves resources otherwise spent on commuting.
- 10. Complete parallel verb Original: post and interact with a global audience Suggested revision: post content and interact with a global audience Why it matters: The verb 'post' needs an object to form a complete parallel construction with 'interact'.
- 11. Use precise adjective Original: justifying Suggested revision: substantial Why it matters: 'Justifying' does not naturally describe benefits that are strong enough to outweigh a drawback.
- 12. Use natural noun Original: potentiality Suggested revision: potential Why it matters: 'Human potential' is the conventional expression for people's capacity to achieve more.
Suggested Rewrites
- has a pernicious impact generally generally has a pernicious impact
- to of
- social interactions in person face-to-face social interactions
- groups online they groups online, they
- families, can families can
- are increases in what is possible lie in the expansion of what is possible
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear comparison and sustains its position with logically developed discussion of social risks, everyday convenience, remote work, and creative reach. Its main limitation is occasional abstract or awkward phrasing that weakens precision, especially in the conclusion; the highest-priority improvement is to express the final judgement more directly and explicitly explain why the benefits outweigh the identified social costs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question, maintains a clear position, and develops relevant arguments on both sides.
Make the final comparative judgement more explicit by stating exactly why the gains in convenience and capability outweigh the social risks.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a focused introduction, two well-organised body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion, with cohesive links used naturally.
Clarify the reference in the sentence beginning with what would normally be mitigated so the connection between online groups and radicalisation is immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide-ranging and generally precise, with effective choices for discussing social interaction, technology, and wider consequences.
Replace abstract or awkward combinations such as justifying benefits and human potentiality with more natural, specific wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of sentence structures is used accurately, and the few lapses do not impede communication.
Review punctuation around subordinate and relative clauses to remove unnecessary commas and sharpen complex sentence boundaries.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.