Nowadays more and more people expect the things they want (eg: services, goods, food, information, etc) to be given instantly. Why is this so? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
Sample Response
In today's fast-paced world, people have become accustomed to instant gratification. They expect everything to be available to them immediately, whether it is food, information, or any other goods or service. This trend is driven by several factors that this essay will outline. Personally, I think that it is a negative trend.
One of the main reasons for this tendency is technological advancement. The internet has made it possible for people to get almost anything they want at the click of a button. Online shopping and home delivery services have made it easier than ever to purchase goods without leaving the comfort of one's home. Similarly, the widespread use of smartphones and social media platforms has made it possible for people to access news and information instantly. Another factor contributing to this trend is the hectic lifestyles of people. With work and family commitments taking up most of their time, people have little patience for waiting. They want everything to be done quickly and efficiently, without any delay.
In my opinion, the trend towards instant gratification has mostly negative outcomes. This expectation can lead to impatience and a lack of perseverance. People may become less willing to work hard and wait for things to happen, instead opting for quick fixes and shortcuts. Consequently, this can be detrimental to personal growth and development, as well as to society as a whole. Moreover, this can lead to a sense of entitlement and a lack of appreciation for the value of hard work and effort. It can also lead to a sense of entitlement, where people feel they deserve instant gratification without putting in the necessary effort.
In conclusion, the trend towards instant gratification is driven by technological advancements and people's busy lifestyles. It mostly has negative consequences such as impatience and entitlement. It is therefore essential for us to understand the importance of patience and perseverance.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Make nouns parallel Original: any other goods or service Suggested revision: other goods or services Why it matters: Both count nouns should use matching plural forms in this general list.
- 2. Use concise signposting Original: several factors that this essay will outline Suggested revision: several factors, outlined below Why it matters: The shorter phrase retains the forward reference without a wordy relative clause.
- 3. Use concise stance Original: Personally, I think that Suggested revision: In my view, Why it matters: The replacement states the personal position without overlapping markers of opinion.
- 4. Use plural advances Original: technological advancement Suggested revision: technological advances Why it matters: The plural form better matches the multiple technologies discussed in the paragraph.
- 5. Use formal verb Original: get almost anything they want Suggested revision: obtain almost anything they want Why it matters: "Obtain" expresses acquisition more precisely in formal writing.
- 6. Avoid a stock phrase Original: at the click of a button Suggested revision: with a single click Why it matters: The replacement preserves the idea of immediate online access more concisely.
- 7. Remove wordiness Original: without leaving the comfort of one's home Suggested revision: without leaving home Why it matters: The shorter phrase retains the stated convenience of online shopping and delivery.
- 8. Condense the transition Original: Another factor contributing to this trend Suggested revision: Another contributing factor Why it matters: The concise phrase performs the same transition without repeating "this trend."
- 9. Use possessive form Original: the hectic lifestyles of people Suggested revision: people's hectic lifestyles Why it matters: The possessive construction is the natural way to link the lifestyles to people.
- 10. Use natural phrasing Original: little patience for waiting Suggested revision: little willingness to wait Why it matters: The replacement describes the behaviour more naturally while preserving the lack of patience.
- 11. Separate the two causes Suggested revision: Organise technological convenience and hectic lifestyles as two distinct cause-and-effect units within the paragraph. Why it matters: The paragraph shifts from technology to time pressure midway, but their separate explanatory roles are not strongly marked.
- 12. Merge repeated entitlement Suggested revision: Combine the two consecutive entitlement points and move once from entitlement to reduced appreciation of effort. Why it matters: The final two sentences repeat the same effect before adding the effort point.
Suggested Rewrites
- any other goods or service other goods or services
- several factors that this essay will outline several factors, outlined below
- Personally, I think that In my view,
- technological advancement technological advances
- get almost anything they want obtain almost anything they want
- at the click of a button with a single click
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay answers both questions clearly, linking demand for immediacy to technology and busy lifestyles before presenting a consistent negative judgement. Its main limitation is repetition in the consequences paragraph, where entitlement is explained twice and several effects remain asserted rather than illustrated. The highest priority is to replace the duplicate point with a concrete example showing how habitual instant access can weaken patience, perseverance, or appreciation of effort.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both causes are relevantly explained and the negative position is sustained, though the effects would benefit from a concrete example and less repetition.
Replace the repeated entitlement point with a specific real-world illustration of reduced perseverance or reliance on shortcuts.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear question-by-question structure and logical progression, but repetitive this references and the duplicated final point weaken cohesion within the third paragraph.
Use explicit nouns for each consequence and organise the negative effects as a causal chain rather than a list of similar outcomes.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is clear, appropriate, and sufficiently varied for the topic, although instant gratification, lead to, and sense of entitlement are overused.
Vary the repeated language with expressions such as immediate fulfilment, erode patience, discourage sustained effort, and create unrealistic expectations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used with strong accuracy and control, and the few minor errors do not affect clarity.
Polish number agreement in phrases such as any other good or service and reduce repeated demonstrative openings to improve syntactic variety.
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