In companies, promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company and not to somebody outside the company or new hiring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Higher positions in a company should be filled with honest, dedicated, loyal and talented individuals as the employees of such positions make the important decisions which ultimately determine the fate of the company. While selecting employees for the higher positions in an organisation, people have different views. Some of them believe that existing and deserving employees should be promoted for such positions while others advocate for outside hiring. I personally believe that inside or outside employees should get equal opportunity to fill such positions.
First of all, it is natural that inside employees are loyal and their dedications are proven. They know the company and its business model better than an outsider. Hence many people are in a strong opinion that a company should always promote an internal employee to a vacant high-level position. In my opinion, they have their reasons to believe so and I also agree that a deserving internal candidate should be promoted to a high-level position. However, my opinion also includes that a company should not promote an internal employee to the high-level position if the employee does not truly deserve and qualify for this position.
Secondly, the corporate world is quite competitive these days. People often switch their jobs and companies fire and hire employees more frequently than ever before. From this regard, if a company restricts its hiring policy for high-level positions only to internal candidates, it will soon fall behind other companies who have better and more deserving decision makers. On the contrary, if a company always hire from outside and does not value experienced and existing employees, it will soon face the scarcity of qualified and talented employees. Considering both of the facts, a company should always inform the internal candidates about the vacancy of a high-level position and also invite outside candidates to apply for this position. Then the hiring authority should select the best possible candidate for the position: be on an outside or an inside employee.
In conclusion, hiring for high-level employees in a company is quite an important decision to make. It should not be influenced by any prejudice or outdated rules. Both the internal and external candidates should be given the opportunity to compete for this position and the most deserving candidate should be hired among them.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the correct preposition Original: of Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Employees work “in” positions, not “of” them.
- 2. Remove the article Original: the important decisions Suggested revision: important decisions Why it matters: The reference is general rather than to previously identified decisions.
- 3. Use professional terms Original: inside or outside employees Suggested revision: internal or external candidates Why it matters: These are the standard recruitment terms.
- 4. Add the article Original: get equal opportunity Suggested revision: get an equal opportunity Why it matters: Singular countable “opportunity” requires an article.
- 5. Use uncountable dedication Original: their dedications are proven Suggested revision: their dedication is proven Why it matters: “Dedication” is uncountable in this general sense.
- 6. Use the fixed expression Original: are in a strong opinion Suggested revision: are strongly of the opinion Why it matters: This is the standard phrase for holding a firm view.
- 7. Clarify the reference Original: so Suggested revision: this Why it matters: “This” refers more clearly to the preceding claim.
- 8. Use parallel complements Original: deserve and qualify for Suggested revision: deserve and be qualified for Why it matters: The coordinated verbs require parallel structure.
- 9. Use natural wording Original: switch their jobs Suggested revision: change jobs Why it matters: “Change jobs” is the standard collocation.
- 10. Use the fixed transition Original: From Suggested revision: In Why it matters: The correct transitional phrase is “in this regard”.
- 11. Place only precisely Original: only to internal candidates Suggested revision: to internal candidates only Why it matters: This placement clearly shows what the restriction applies to.
- 12. Use the correct relative Original: who Suggested revision: that Why it matters: Organisations take “that” or “which,” not “who”.
Suggested Rewrites
- of in
- the important decisions important decisions
- inside or outside employees internal or external candidates
- get equal opportunity get an equal opportunity
- their dedications are proven their dedication is proven
- are in a strong opinion are strongly of the opinion
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response offers a clear, nuanced position and develops a sensible merit-based approach by weighing internal knowledge and loyalty against the benefits of external recruitment. The main limitation is persistent awkward phrasing and grammatical inaccuracy, which occasionally obscures otherwise logical reasoning. The most valuable improvement would be to retain the well-balanced argument while expressing it through more concise sentences, accurate agreement, and natural business-related collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay directly addresses the claim, sustains a clear position that both groups should compete, and supports it with relevant advantages and risks for each hiring route.
Strengthen the argument further with one concrete example showing when an external candidate would outperform an otherwise suitable internal applicant.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from internal promotion to the risks of restricting either recruitment route, with clear paragraphing despite some repetition and cumbersome local links.
Condense repeated references to high-level positions and make the final recommendation emerge more directly from the comparison in the preceding sentences.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of business vocabulary conveys the argument, but recurring unnatural collocations such as "dedications are proven," "in a strong opinion," and "face the scarcity" limit flexibility and precision.
Use conventional combinations such as "proven dedication," "strongly believe," and "face a shortage" while reducing repetition of "position" and "candidate."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures successfully, but agreement, preposition, article, and sentence-construction errors recur and occasionally disrupt fluency.
Check subject-verb agreement and prepositional phrasing, then rewrite malformed clauses such as "be on an outside or an inside employee" as complete comparative statements.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
In companies, promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company and not to somebody outside the company or new hiring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.