In companies, promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company and not to somebody outside the company or new hiring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Higher positions in a company should be filled with honest, dedicated, loyal and talented individuals as the employees inof such positions make important decisionsthe important decisions which ultimately determine the fate of the company. While selecting employees for the higher positions in an organisation, people have different views. Some of them believe that existing and deserving employees should be promoted for such positions while others advocate for outside hiring. I personally believe that internal or external candidatesinside or outside employees should get an equal opportunityget equal opportunity to fill such positions.
First of all, it is natural that inside employees are loyal and their dedication is proventheir dedications are proven. They know the company and its business model better than an outsider. Hence many people are strongly of the opinionare in a strong opinion that a company should always promote an internal employee to a vacant high-level position. In my opinion, they have their reasons to believe thisso and I also agree that a deserving internal candidate should be promoted to a high-level position. However, my opinion also includes that a company should not promote an internal employee to the high-level position if the employee does not truly deserve and be qualified fordeserve and qualify for this position.
Secondly, the corporate world is quite competitive these days. People often change jobsswitch their jobs and companies fire and hire employees more frequently than ever before. InFrom this regard, if a company restricts its hiring policy for high-level positions to internal candidates onlyonly to internal candidates, it will soon fall behind other companies thatwho have better and more deserving decision makers. On the contrary, if a company always hireshire from outside and does not value experienced and existing employees, it will soon face a shortage of qualifiedthe scarcity of qualified and talented employees. Considering both factsboth of the facts, a company should always inform the internal candidates about the vacancy of a high-level position and also invite outside candidates to apply for this position. Then the hiring authority should select the best possible candidate for the position: be on an outside or an inside employee.
In conclusion, hiring for high-level employees in a company is quite an important decision to make. It should not be influenced by any prejudice or outdated rules. Both the internal and external candidates should be given the opportunity to compete for this position and the most deserving candidate should be chosen from among themhired among them.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response offers a clear, nuanced position and develops a sensible merit-based approach by weighing internal knowledge and loyalty against the benefits of external recruitment. The main limitation is persistent awkward phrasing and grammatical inaccuracy, which occasionally obscures otherwise logical reasoning. The most valuable improvement would be to retain the well-balanced argument while expressing it through more concise sentences, accurate agreement, and natural business-related collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay directly addresses the claim, sustains a clear position that both groups should compete, and supports it with relevant advantages and risks for each hiring route.
Strengthen the argument further with one concrete example showing when an external candidate would outperform an otherwise suitable internal applicant.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from internal promotion to the risks of restricting either recruitment route, with clear paragraphing despite some repetition and cumbersome local links.
Condense repeated references to high-level positions and make the final recommendation emerge more directly from the comparison in the preceding sentences.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of business vocabulary conveys the argument, but recurring unnatural collocations such as "dedications are proven," "in a strong opinion," and "face the scarcity" limit flexibility and precision.
Use conventional combinations such as "proven dedication," "strongly believe," and "face a shortage" while reducing repetition of "position" and "candidate."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures successfully, but agreement, preposition, article, and sentence-construction errors recur and occasionally disrupt fluency.
Check subject-verb agreement and prepositional phrasing, then rewrite malformed clauses such as "be on an outside or an inside employee" as complete comparative statements.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In companies, promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company and not to somebody outside the company or new hiring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.